We have a large property that borders on woods toward the back. Almost all year long, a small herd of deer frequent the back of the property. at dusk and then at dawn we see them calmly walking around eating our grass, the Hosta the wife foolishly paid several hundred dollars to plant back there as a nice landscaping touch and snack buffet. In the winter, they eat azalea plants and whatever else they have the courage to come to when they are hungry.

I take sort of a universal attitude toward them. I am here, they are here. I don't hunt and that is fortunate for them, as they don't get hunted while on my property.

I am also a realist. We have friends who will flock to the back windows like idiots when they come over and cackle away, "Oh look! Bambi and his mother! Come here quickly kids, Bambi is back there!!!!!"

I watch them go on and on until I am ready to fire a warning shot back there to stop the idiotic madness. Instead, I calmly watch and then tell them, If you really want to have a relationship with Bambi and his mommy, walk back there and enjoy a few of their ticks. You see, where there are deer, there are deer ticks. That statement should be expanded to include, and Lyme disease, which contrary to popular belief, one does not contract from over citrified Martguerita's or too much key lime pie.

Remember city folk, where there are deer, there are ticks. You can bet the baby's milk money on that.

There is one last thought concerning ticks I will share. If your relationship with your lady is friendly enough, checking each other out for ticks can be a wonderful Saturday Night adventure. This statement most likely works with any of several combinations of significant others or very close friends, but my experience is limited, so I'll just stick to my statement and let you experiment with your preferred sexual perversion. I have no experience with group co-examination scenarios, or anything having to do with female Scandinavian sports teams so I won't go there.