Although I probably won't vote for you because you're a liberal, I'm reaching across the aisle because I need a job. I'm thinking of campaign strategist or something like that for gas money.

I think I can wrap up those Evangelicals and Christian Righties you're having a little trouble with. Sound good?

Okay, you're a liberal but I have to trust you anyway. Here's the ad you run. Just a still photo, black and white of course, with this track of Michelle if it hasn't been destroyed.

They can’t look to any one individual, whether it’s Barack or it’s the next new hope that’s going to appear to be that savior.

That's the Messiah touch. Now fade out and fade in with another Michelle photo, preferably in elegant formal wear.

Barack is one of the smartest people you will ever encounter who will deign to enter this messy thing called politics.

There's the condescension and arrogance. Rubes an clingers will love it. Whaddya think? You and your staff can decide whether to correct her grammar. You could also slip in that clip of Barack brushing off his suit when talking about something Hillary said. That's up to you.

Talk it over with the staff and I'll get back to you Monday. Remember...just gas money...

Do you actually know any liberals? Who do you think liberals are? Do you understand that there are just as many liberals as there are conservatives and that the two groups make up the bulk of the United States? Does it register to you that demonizing half of our nation is pointless and childish? Do you really think that the two groups are so far apart?

Think. Act. Vote.

Obama 08. Say no to more nonsense.

Are you seriously conflating, (or equating, whatever works for you) the repetition of two on the record quotes as demonizing half the nation?

I think you're sick. There, feel demonized? I hope so.

I would run an ad for Obama of McCain saying "Make it 100 years" with troops in combat in the background......over and over and over.

If you think you are the only one who can come up with out of context quotes...stick around.

I don't guess we can come up with the "Cunt" quote for a political ad, but maybe one of him calling someone an asshole?

"I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited -- it will be spirited -- because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica-- conservative Republican..

"We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies."

"I'm glad to have his endorsement. I condemn remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything."

"F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room."

"No, I'm calling you a f*cking jerk." --to fellow Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked "Are you calling me stupid?"

"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father."

Here is what Michelle said...

I would constantly tamp down expectations because they're not realistic. There is still a lot of hard work that we as a country need to do. They can't look to any one individual, whether it's Barack or it's the next new hope that's going to appear to be that savior. And I would just hate for people to sort of see this potential and think: Oh, now I can rest easy because Barack Obama is going to fix things. It doesn't work that way.

I agree with everything except the hot water and not being anti-anything.

Now go away.

"I agree with everything except the hot water and not being anti-anything."

Right. McCain, claiming to know more than anyone else in the room will go over very well. Calling Chuck Grassley a fucking jerk will win a lot of friends. McCain says he is the one who will reach across the aisle is pretty silly. He can't even reach out on his own side of the aisle.

Get used to hearing the words "President Barak Obama" followed by hail to the chief.

I'll give you gas money to star in my new movie, here's a scene:

Fade In. Group of Bush voters sitting around a small table listening to Rush Limbaugh in the throes of an oxycontin-saturated diatribe on the radio.

Voter 1: The Democrats are gonna win in 08, with a Marxist! What are we gonna do? Can we impeach him before he gets elected?

Voter 2: He's a Marxist?!

Voter 1: Yeah, his priest said "God Damn America!"

Voter 2: Who, Jerry Falwell?

Voter 1: No, a Black. He meant the non-Gay America.

Voter 3: We also know he's a Marxist because he's connected to a guy who bribes politicians.

Voter 2: Jack Abramoff?

Voter 3: No, this car salesman in Chicago. But the Marxist is also tied to terrorists.

Voter 2: The bin Laden family?

Voter 3: No, no, no! Quit talking like that, you make it sound like Republicans do all that stuff. The Marxist is tied to a bunch of old fart hippies from the 70's who bombed a bunch of empty buildings to protest the massive firebombing of Southeast Asia that resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people.

Voter 1: The Marxist sounds scary, don't he?

Voter 2: What does Dennis Miller think?

Voter 3: No one is sure.

Voter 2: So Osama, er, Obama, sorry, I have brain damage and I constantly confuse the two names... Obama...

Voter 1: Call him "B. Hussein Obama" - its quite damning. Anyway, he is horribly arrogant, far more arrogant than any of us.

Voter 3: He is so arrogant and elitist he thinks working folks hide behind guns and religion.

Voter 2: I thought we did. I thought that was the whole point.

Voter 1: We do, but he's still a dick. The point is I hate his guts, and any old reason will do.

When do we start?

The family's giving me pure hell cause summer's here, the motorcoach is on empty (mark that down as diesel); I had to put the ski boat up at the lakehouse on the lift; the wife's Benz is in the garage; mine I left up at the lake and the three of us had to squeeze into the daughter's little Jag to get home. ( She's got a job though and that little buggy does get surprisingly good mileage if you keep the top up.) My wife won't ride the Harley so I'm left with all the shopping. Meanwhile Junior called to say he's coming home for the summer and would I have his Hummer serviced.

All I can say is thank God for sailboats.

No doubt about it.

When it comes to reaching out to Rubes -- you're the man!