H8s Txts sounds like a Luddite who a) Can't stand that she is not the object of her friends' undivided attention and b) is ashamed that technology has left her behind.

In a one on one setting I agree texting can be a bit rude, and should be avoided or at least apologized for when neccesary. However, H8s Txts is being demanding if she can't stand people texting durring a group outing where she can just turn to someone else in the group who will give her the attention she clearly needs.

You are an idiot.

I agree with Maver Joe. If she's out with a group of people, who gives a rat's ass if one of them is texting someone. A one on one setting can be annoying, because you're left with nothing to do, while they're texting.

As I said in another post, if my boyfriend are out eating lunch during business hours, I can guarantee and important call will come on his cell phone and he'll have to take it. When it's not convenient to talk to the people, sometimes, he will text them. I don't give him any hassle because it's business and the clients want instant gratification in trying to reach him.

You must be a joy to be around - I think H8s Txts sounds very reasonable. If you want to text people do it when you're not in the company of others or keep it to essentials. This is no different than talking on the phone to someone who is also talking to someone else the entire time. It is disrespectful and dismissive. One of my friends could not hold a phone conversation for talking to everyone else in her family until she called her daughter who was talking to her friends. My friend expected the kid's full attention to the conversation. I couldn't stop laughing at how frustrated she was with her daughter doing exactly the same thing she always did. Her behavior changed after that incident and now if she needs to attend to someone else during our phone conversations she always asks if I mind.

ascio:

You must be a joy to be around - I think H8s Txts sounds very reasonable. If you want to text people do it when you're not in the company of others or keep it to essentials. This is no different than talking on the phone to someone who is also talking to someone else the entire time. It is disrespectful and dismissive. One of my friends could not hold a phone conversation for talking to everyone else in her family until she called her daughter who was talking to her friends. My friend expected the kid's full attention to the conversation. I couldn't stop laughing at how frustrated she was with her daughter doing exactly the same thing she always did. Her behavior changed after that incident and now if she needs to attend to someone else during our phone conversations she always asks if I mind.

But this situation isn't a one on one phone conversation. It is a group social event. If there is one person in a group who demands the entire groups full attention at all times, he/she is probably an asshole.

Also for those of us comfortable with the technology, texting is a much more passive activity than a crossword puzzle or a handwritten letter.

Lastly, there is a good chance H8s Txt friends are conducting business through texts. They might be busy people who can only find time to go out with the group as long as they can remain accessible throughout the evening. Would H8s Txt rather they not come out at all?

Wow, maybe it's just me, but what's the big deal? I text a lot, but some of my friends text even more than me. But we still manage to carry on a conversation at the same time we're texting. Or drinking. Or applying make-up. Or driving. Shocking! Maybe the writer and her friends are a bunch of chicks who can't walk and chew gum at the same time?

But, in all fairness, even though I'm a text message addict, I try to be courteous and will let those I'm with in on the message, especially if it's something funny or something the others might want/need to know.

meghn:

But we still manage to carry on a conversation at the same time we're texting. Or drinking. Or applying make-up. Or driving.

If you drive while texting, you are a fucking idiot.

With all due respect, meghn, I don't care if you text while talking, drinking, fucking, or applying makeup, but if I see you text while driving, I may well hire a gorilla to come to your house and cram that cell phone up your ass.

Really. Driving?

Freki

I suppose I'm an old fart, but I really feel like constant multi-tasking, e.g. texting one friend while out with another group, takes away from the quality of regular, normal human interactions, for which there is still no substitute.

dbguy:

I suppose I'm an old fart, but I really feel like constant multi-tasking, e.g. texting one friend while out with another group, takes away from the quality of regular, normal human interactions, for which there is still no substitute.

Yeah but people said the same thing about the telephone when that was the "new scary thing". I think it is often true that technology that brings us together can simultaneously diminish the quality of our interactions. But as with most of these technological advances the benefits usually outweigh the costs. And even if they don't it would be impossible to put the genie back into the bottle, so we all just have to make the best of it anyway.

While I disagree with her logic, I don't think meghn was saying she texts while driving. I think she was saying that if she's able to hold conversations while driving, putting on make up etc., why shouldn't she be able to have a conversation while texting as well. At least that's how I read it.

As to the subject at hand, I've been out with chronic texters before, and I find their behavior to be rude and dismissive, whether we are one on one or in a group. If you're having two conversations at once, whether verbally or electronically, the quality of one or both will suffer. The idea that the texter should simply share what's being texted if it's funny or of note is ridiculous to me, because I personally have no interest in hearing about anyone's text messages. Getting a blow by blow account would not make the behavior any less inappropriate in my mind.

The situation with ElleBlue and her boyfriend is a different matter altogether. He has already explained that the texts are unavoidable because of the nature of his business, which seems perfectly understandable to me. If this is the case with the LW's friends, they need to express that to the group.

oh my god no!!!! Never while driving! I'm sorry, I was just insinuating talking to others and/or texting while multitasking. As in, I can talk to my passengers without taking my eyes off the wheel, 'cause believe me, I know some people who feel like they need to make eye contact with passengers while they're driving. I have friends who feel the need to point things out somewhere out of my peripheral vision; sorry I like not crashing. Probably why I'm always the driver. I would never condone texting and driving. But regardless.... oh my god no, never text while driving! Hell, if someone calls while I'm driving I ignore until I reach my destination or, if it's someone important or someone I haven't talked to in a while I will pull over into a shopping center or a neighborhood.

So yes to texting and talking simultaneously at a bar or when I'm in the bathroom putting on make-up. No to texting and driving. Although now that I've over explained the hell out of myself I believe my whole original post is moot. :)

antisocialite:

The situation with ElleBlue and her boyfriend is a different matter altogether. He has already explained that the texts are unavoidable because of the nature of his business, which seems perfectly understandable to me. If this is the case with the LW's friends, they need to express that to the group.

Thank you! I'm glad somebody understands! A woman in another thread said, "if you are happy always being second in his life, then.... blah blah blah". I thought that was a little dramatic Second? Puleeze! My boyfriend has bills, so he better take those calls and text messages.

Meghn, if you actually pull over to talk on the cellphone, then I withdraw my sodomizing gorilla threat and give you a gold star.

I was nearly broadsided this morning by some silly bitch so intent on her cellphone she forgot how to yield. As you can see, it has made me a little crabby.

Freki

Freki: A couple of years ago I was rearended by someone who was talking to a client on his cell phone so his reaction time was off (someone two cars ahead tried to make an illegal left turn, so brakes were slammed hard). Lucky for me he was the team doctor for my local sports team so I got a sweet rental while my car was being fixed, and he made sure I was ok at the scene. But yeah, big stickler over talking and driving. I don't even have a bluetooth because when I'm on the phone I tend to put more concentration on the conversation than anything, hands free or not. Hence why I always have bruises from walking into doorjams in my house!

Hmmm.... now that I think about it my original point is completely useless because I just proved I can't walk and talk at the same time!