As a 40-something professional, I wear a bra most of the time. However, no matter how soft, silky, cottony, or well-fitted, I find bras darn uncomfortable. I always look forward to the end of the day when I can "turn the girls loose."

And yet, I recognize the reality that the bra-less look is typically not socially acceptable in public. My solution is a lined lycra camisole or tank under a loose blouse. That way, I contain my cleavage and don't have underwire that bites, labels that itch, or straps that slide.

I'm so with you. I wear a bra when it is necessary for work or a social occasion (or when exercising!), but otherwise I'm in a nice comfortable tank or halter top. It is darn nice to be a B and be able to go sans bra!

Is it really so important to judge how your friend feels most confortable. I am fifty something with friends my age as well as younger. However they want to dress is fine with me. It is so much more important for me to enjoy the friendship now, rather than cry over missing them when they are gone and regretting the discomfort of their flying free. Better to be able to take bad pictures in life than lose them to death and not have any pictures to take at all.

Hi. I like this response. I generally think Prudence has some intelligent responses, but was taken aback by this one. I am 58 and only wear a bra to work or if a dress has to have one in order to fit properly. Other than that I don't really understand why it is anyone elses business whether I wear a bra or not. To me there are only a few functional reasons for bras to exist:

1. you are a nursing mother and need the support for comfort

2. You are bigger than a Bcup (my size) and need a bra for comfort

3. You like and can afford sexy lingerie to entertain your partner who really appreciates it.

other than that, I say to each her own. We certainly do not tell men that they must weat a jock strap or loose pants in public. :)

Why would you tell a middle-aged woman what to wear? That's totally absurd! You might as well say, "Hmm, those elastic-waist pants are unflattering to your bottom." Bras are pretty stupid anyway, and it's nobody's business whether a woman wears them or not. If she can handle the stares, she can handle it. Would you tell a man with an expanding waistline to wear a belt? Sheesh, I'm glad my friends don't "help" me by telling me what's a "good look" for me.

And PS: There is NO instance where a bra is necessary. Maybe you don't want your co-workers fixating on your chest, but that's up to you.

The LW did say that her friend expresses how she doesnt like the herself in the pictures and the only issue was her lack of boobage control. So clearly even though the friend thinks comfort, she wants to look good and you can't have both if your tits are at your waist! So while I agree that you shouldn't have to say anything to the woman, she clearly realized that she needs to wear one and maybe you should say something like, "I love that freedom feel too, but my boobs are all wonky without the over-the-shoulder-boulder-hold­er so I wear one, especially when there are cameras involved"

adrianna:

And PS: There is NO instance where a bra is necessary. Maybe you don't want your co-workers fixating on your chest, but that's up to you.

I really must disagree. I actually find going without a bra extremely uncomfortable. Maybe it is because I come from a long line of busty women but I have had occasions where I would prefer to sleep in my bra for the additional support.

I am not that big, just a D, but especially around the time of my period I need to wear a regular bra and a sports bra to hold me down to excercise. I can't run without very firm support.

heck, i'm a c-cup and i rarely go without a bra even at home (unless i'm wearing a tank tight enough to provide a little support). i just don't understand how so many people can find bras so uncomfortable? i for one hate underwires: they always either pinch and poke under my arms, or else they press too hard against my breast bone and make me slouch forward. plus, they seem to provide no extra support beyond what a decent, lightly padded, well constructed wireless bra provides (even though that's apparently the purpose of an underwire). i also hate it when my boobs bounch when i walk (i was a smallish b-cup for years before i got on the birth control, and before that i was a very late bloomer, so i have a definite love/hate with my boobs anyway), but i've found a number of reasonably priced, comfortable bras, all over the place. and really, you only NEED one or two bras anyhow (if you're smart about the cut and color and fit when you buy them), so price shouldn't be THAT much of a factor.

I am 48 & wear a 36 DD bra.I wouldn't be caught dead without a bra unless I want my boobs to bounce all over creation.Never mind the downward spiral if I wasn't properly supported.My boobs Don't sag because I wear a well fitted bra during regular work hours & a sports bra after I crawl out of my work clothes & into my tank tops :) I also wear a sports bra to bed to keep the boobs from getting squished downwards while I am on sleeping on my stomach.Do you know how much I wish I was a C cup???

It is possible this woman isn't wearing the right size bra.Many women are in denial about what bra/cup size they actually wear.Buying a bra in too small of a cup size will cause it to bite & leave marks under the arm.Ditto for band size.It is worth it to get professionally fitted so that you truly know what size bra you should be wearing.

Very well put! I've had the 'jock strap' thought many times...

I haven't left the house without a bra on since I was 15. Hit puberty, and went from undershirts to underwire C cups. Hit D's in highschool and graduated as a DD. I'm now (at 28, 5 ft tall) a 36 I/J depending on the cut. It is virtually impossible to find bras in my size, even on the internet. And the ones I do find run $60-100 per bra. If you're on a fixed income, it's difficult to afford. And forget about finding a bra in any other color but white or beige. Lace?? Never find it. Sports bras are out, too...at this size I'd have major uni-boob action going on, plus little to no support. And since I could give myself a black eye running up a set of stairs...

My biggest issue has been the "third boob effect". That bulge of breast that sticks out over the top of the cup. Since it's so hard to find bras in my size, I cope with what I can find, and then cover it up as best as possible with tops. It's not a great solution, but until I can afford bras that truely fit...