Yeah, what is up with this whole "I'm with real live people but prefer to have a conversation with somebody - anybody - who isn't here"? Can't we all just learn to live in the moment and enjoy our current company?

The most egregrious example was the photos of the truly heinous Whitney Houston who was being baptized in the Jordan River and was talking on her cell phone the whole time!!! I mean, who exactly is more important than God?

(For God-believers that is .. I realize that there are a number of non-god-believers out there amongst you, and I totally respect your viewpoint - in fact I share it. However, God-believers generally hold that talking to God - especially during your baptism - would take precedence over talking to some random friend who isn't even present).

Fortunately, my friends have better manners than these handhelds. Perhaps these folks suffer from "tuned-in-itis", the disease of being wired that they can't put it down. Playing devil's advocate, could it be that they are getting texted by their children or babysitter? That's the only reason I would condone it, and even that only briefly.

Yeah spouse / babysitter - someone you need to respond to is aking you something simple yet pressing and it's too loud where you're at to call or too much of a hassle to step outside and call them to tell them that the baby's bottle is outside by the swing set or the car's parked the next block over, etc.

That's an acceptable reason to text and it happens to me all the time. Factor in a couple of drinks and my big clumsy fingers on a tiny keyboard and it looks like I'm composing the magna carta on my cell phone.

Well, I'm in the very small minority as the rare individual who never minds when someone texts or answers a call while with me. My own bizarre view is that just because the person isn't around doesn't mean they are not as alive as I am; it's just another form of communication. If I'm with, say, three people I don't get offended when they address each other in front of me. I view electronic communication as the exact same thing, I really do.

And it's not because I'm some kid who grew up only knowing this. I'm 35 and clearly remember life without cell phones and email. I also don't remember that life as being any richer or with better relationships than I have now (in fact, they are better now than then.)

Disclaimer: I do not text or answer/make cell calls when with others. I do not text or answer/make cell calls when alone. I have a cheap tracfone that I leave turned off at all times; I only have it on hand for emergencies. I just can't get into the whole cell thing for myself. But I never bedgrudge anyone else for doing otherwise.

greensleeves:

Yeah, what is up with this whole "I'm with real live people but prefer to have a conversation with somebody - anybody - who isn't here"? Can't we all just learn to live in the moment and enjoy our current company?

The most egregrious example was the photos of the truly heinous Whitney Houston who was being baptized in the Jordan River and was talking on her cell phone the whole time!!! I mean, who exactly is more important than God?

(For God-believers that is .. I realize that there are a number of non-god-believers out there amongst you, and I totally respect your viewpoint - in fact I share it. However, God-believers generally hold that talking to God - especially during your baptism - would take precedence over talking to some random friend who isn't even present).

I read somewhere that she was on the phone with her spiritual mentor and was taking him / her through the experience with her. That's not something I would do, but that explanation made her phone call a little more understandable. I think a spiritual experience should be between you and God and no one else should be directly communicating with you.

rammyh:

Yeah spouse / babysitter - someone you need to respond to is aking you something simple yet pressing and it's too loud where you're at to call or too much of a hassle to step outside and call them to tell them that the baby's bottle is outside by the swing set or the car's parked the next block over, etc.

That's an acceptable reason to text and it happens to me all the time. Factor in a couple of drinks and my big clumsy fingers on a tiny keyboard and it looks like I'm composing the magna carta on my cell phone.

I hear you. My boyfriend has a business and sometimes people text him. Especially during business hours. A lot of times we're eating at a restaurant on a busy street, so texting is easier and faster for him. He doesn't make calls and he doesn't respond to all his calls at the time they come in, but sometimes, you just gotta do, what you gotta do.

The difference is that texting while with others is not just "another form of communication". When people in a group are having a (live) conversation, anyone is free to join in or just listen as they choose. When someone in a group texts, that automatically excludes everyone else in the group - in that respect it is like two people in the group whispering to each other or holding a conversation in a foreign language that no one else present understands - it is exclusionary and it is rude. Emergenices - true emergencies - are an exception.

Elle - If you are happy being second best to your boyfriend's business associates, that is your decision. I hope you are always happy being dropped for "more important" people when you are out together. I'm thinking of the line in "The Devil Wears Prada" where the boyfriend breaks up with the main character over her always ALWAYS taking business calls, telling her something like, "The one whose phone call you always take, that's the one you're having a relationship with".

Well, again, I happen to not find it rude or insulting when others whisper in front of me or speak in a foreign language either (and another disclaimer: I don't do either myself, hence someone thinking I'm just trying to defend myself.) I guess official "etiquette" rules would call it rude, but I cut people slack on that stuff. And generally, I don't consider myself automatically entitled to listen into (or read) every conversation another person is involved in just because I happen to be right there.

greensleeves:

Elle - If you are happy being second best to your boyfriend's business associates, that is your decision. I hope you are always happy being dropped for "more important" people when you are out together. I'm thinking of the line in "The Devil Wears Prada" where the boyfriend breaks up with the main character over her always ALWAYS taking business calls, telling her something like, "The one whose phone call you always take, that's the one you're having a relationship with".

We're getting a bit dramatic, aren't we? My boyfriend puts up with my long hours at work and long commute, so I hold this small concession for him.

BTW, I work in the garment industry and I am that girl. Yes, the film portrayed the fashion industry pretty well with slight exaggeration. My ex boyfriend used to get angry because my old company used to send me to Hong Kong for weeks at a time. I did always take his phone calls, but he wanted a chick who stayed in town.

This is business. We need to make money, and unfortunately, our businesses take us away sometimes. This is a reality we are both willing to accept. Hey! It beats struggling to pay bills!

bzl:

Well, again, I happen to not find it rude or insulting when others whisper in front of me or speak in a foreign language either (and another disclaimer: I don't do either myself, hence someone thinking I'm just trying to defend myself.) I guess official "etiquette" rules would call it rude, but I cut people slack on that stuff. And generally, I don't consider myself automatically entitled to listen into (or read) every conversation another person is involved in just because I happen to be right there.

I guess Ms. Green Sleeves never worked in an office full of women or with foreigners.

ElleBlue:

I guess Ms. Green Sleeves never worked in an office full of women or with foreigners.

Well, actually yes I have, to both. However, being either a woman or a foreigner does not excuse you from having manners. Carrying on an exclusionary conversation in a group is rude. The only exception might be a whispered "I think your slip is showing" or a foreign language speaker who can only communicate through a translator. (What constitutes a foreign language depends on what the common language of the particular group is.)

And good luck to you and your boyfriend and your business associates. I'm sure you will all be very happy together.

rammyh:

Yeah spouse / babysitter - someone you need to respond to is aking you something simple yet pressing and it's too loud where you're at to call or too much of a hassle to step outside and call them to tell them that the baby's bottle is outside by the swing set or the car's parked the next block over, etc.

If it happens for most of the time you are out, you need to get a new babysitter, but in the meantime, just go home.

greensleeves:

And good luck to you and your boyfriend and your business associates. I'm sure you will all be very happy together.

Yes we will be happy and wealthy. Wealthy because we both take care of business and happy because neither of us split hairs over minor issues.

As far as whispering is concerned, some things are just not meant to be heard by everyone in a cubicle setting. As for foreigners, it is just easier to communicate in your own language. Ever have to dig for the right word while using your second language? I have. There are times when I don't know the proper word to use.

ElleBlue:

As far as whispering is concerned, some things are just not meant to be heard by everyone in a cubicle setting. As for foreigners, it is just easier to communicate in your own language. Ever have to dig for the right word while using your second language? I have. There are times when I don't know the proper word to use.

There is a difference between whispering in a cubical setting and whispering between two people when there are three or four people at a dinner table or group setting. Cubical setting consists of people who happen to be in the same room working (or hopefully working). A group setting is where 3, 4, 5, or more people decide to get together and do something together. It does bug me when I'm with two other people socializing with them and then one of them leans over to the other and starts whispering. If they are saying something about me, then it can wait till I am gone or they can say it to my face. If they are saying something about something else that they don't want me to know, then again they can wait.