"I love words, I thank you for hearing my words, I wanna tell ya something about words that I...uh.. I think is important, I love ‘em. I say they are my work, they are my play, they're my passion, they're my love. Words are all we have really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid....wuuuuuuu mmeme buwowowoowwoow (etc)....then we assign a word to a thought *clink* and we're stuck with that word for that thought pretty much forever. So be careful with words. I like to think, ‘yeah the same words that hurt can heal’. Its, uh, a matter of how you pick them. You know, there are some people that are not into the words There are some people that would have you not use certain words....yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7 of ‘em you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to (deep voice) seven. They must reallly beeee baaaaaaaad. They'd have to be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, that seven....BAAAAAAAHHDD WORDS. That’s what they told us they were, remember ‘that’s a bad word?’ (squeaky voice). Naaaaaahh. No bad words. Bad thoughts, bad intentions and WORRRRRDDDS. You know that seven, don’t cha?, that you can’t say on television (really ‘list like’) Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker and... tits........Those are the heavy seven, those are the ones that'll infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the WAAARRR!.....Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker and...tits, wow! And TITS doesn’t even belong on the list......man.. That’s such a friendly sounding word, it sounds like a nickname, right? ‘HEY tits come here, man’ ‘hey tits...hey tits, meet toots, toots tits, tits toots, sounds like a snack doesn’t it, Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don’t mean your sexiest snack, I mean NEW Nabisco tits, the new Cheeze-tits, Korn-tits, new pizza tits ‘n sesame tits, onion tits, tater tits... ‘Betcha can’t eat just one’. That’s true I usually switch off. But I mean that word does not belong on the list. Actually, none of them belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not completely insensitive to people’s feelings, I mean I can dig why some of ‘em got on the list..like cocksucker and motherfucker, those are heavy weight words, you know, there’s a lot goin’ on there, man, besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. I mean they're just BUSY words. There’s a lot of syllables to contend with and those k's... those regressive sounds, they just jump out at you, cocKsuKa MothafuKer cocKsuKa (accentuates k's) Its like an assault on you, ya know? So I can dig that.

Now we mentioned shit earlier, of course. And 2 of the other, 4 letter Anglo-Saxon words are piss and cunt, which go together, of course, but forget that... little accidental hummer I put in. Piss and cunt. The reason piss and cunt are on the list, is because a long time ago, certain ladies said, ‘Those are the 2 I'm not going to say. I don’t mind Fuck and Shit but p and c are OUT, p and c are OUT. Which leads to stupid sentences such as ‘Ok you fuckers, I'm going to tinkle now.

And, of course, the word fuck *haaaaaahhhhh*, the word fuck. I don’t really, well, here’s some more accidental humor, I don’t really want to get into that now *haaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa* because I think it takes to long *haaaaaaaaaaaaa* but I do mean that. I mean I do think the word is a very important word. It's the beginning of life and yet it's a word we use to hurt one another, quite often, and people much wiser than I have said I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one another. And I, of course, can agree, it’s a great sentiment and I wish I knew who said it first and I agree with that. But I'd like to take it a step further, I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for the word Kill in all those movie cliches’ we grew up with..right, ‘Ok Sheriff, we're gonna Fuck ya now....... But we gonna Fuck ya SLOOOOOOWWWW.’ (hahaha) So maybe next year I'll have a whole Fuckin’ rap on that word.

There are two-way words, but those are The Seven You Can Never Say on TV, under any circumstances, there are just no exceptions, you just cannot say them EVER, EVER, EVER, not even clinically, you cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny. I mean it’s just impossible to forget those 7, they’re OUT. But there are some two-way words, those double meaning words, remember the ones you giggled at in 6th grade, ‘...and the cock crowed three times’ (weaslly nasal voice) Yeahhhhhhhh! ‘The COCK crowed three times!’ Yeaaaaaaahhh, it’s in the Bible! Ahhhhhahahhaa. there are some two- way words. Like its okay for Kurt Gowdy to say, ‘Roberto Palmiero has two balls on him’ but he can't say, ‘I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. He’s holding them, he must have hurt them.’ And the other two- way word that goes with that one is Prick. It’s okay if it happens to your finger, yes, you can prick your finger but dooooooon’t ever finger your prick! Hahahaha!"

Good bye, George.

(sniff!)

especially the kind of sciolistic bollox that passes for mourning and eulogy in the Media. The Russert orgy of pseudo-grief was proof of that. I'm glad you had the good sense to simply post his words.

Carlin was a treat, he will be missed. I too noticed the narcissism of the media this week over Russert. They seem to believe that they really matter and that what they do is extremely important. By moaning about another's death, they can display their own sense of self-worth in comparison. We will miss him so, he was so important, so wise.....like all of us are....

Some people don't want to talk about those things. Some people don't want you to say this. Some people don't want you to say that. Some people think if you mention some things they might happen.

Some people are fucking stupid.

George on powerful people.

And finally,...George on religion. Nails it.

Another void that can probably never be filled.

The Ten Commandments.

this is his best routine inho. He obliterates dogma with this rant.

Well, if you insist on only coming around when BotF needs a funeral director, so be it. It's better than nothing.

‘Those are the 2 I'm not going to say. I don’t mind Fuck and Shit but p and c are OUT, p and c are OUT. Which leads to stupid sentences such as ‘Ok you fuckers, I'm going to tinkle now.

I just pissed coffee all over my fucking keyboard.

Big radio station in the sky.

Good grief :(

Thanks for that.

I love George Carlin.

i was so downhearted when you said you were leaving and never coming back because of there being too many conservative posters on this board.

its great to have you back, and you'll make it a more lively debate.

here's my contribution to the (new) 7 words you can't say on television:

"obama is too inexperienced to be president"

there's evidently a rule. you just never hear these words said.

if you substitute "bush" for "obama" you can say it. but you can't say it with "obama" as the first word.

does that mean the networks consider "obama" to be an obscene word?

just asking

Marine talk spoken when observing a Progressive Flag Burning Operation.

Fuck. Marine talk when the name of Dem Congressman Murtha's name is heard.

Fuck 'em all but six. Save them for pall bearers. US Infantry talk.

Eh.

You had to know, in the first sentence, who that was. He did love words. Somehow, the year Jesse moved back to NY from college, we ended up with three copies of "Brain Droppings" on top of all the other George Carlin stuff in the house.