Dear Ethical Shopper,

I understand your dilemma. I recently made the decision to only buy and (usually) eat organic meat and sustainably raised/caught fish. I'm a grad student so this is a bit tough on my budget and it can sometimes be a major inconvenience, but overall I'm satisfied with my choice.

The key is to think about how your relatives will react if you tell them, "I would prefer to buy fair-trade clothes." I had to think before I told my family about my organic meat preferences. I did tell my mother, who regularly shops at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods anyway. She was very understanding, bought organic meat to cook the next time I visited her and has since developed a taste for "spa meat," as she calls it.

I have not insisted on organic meat with my grandparents, in part because both of my grandmothers have a hard enough time getting around and doing regular shopping as it is - and I know at least one of my grandmothers would think I was being ridiculous. I decided that, in their case, it wasn't worth the hassle that would ensue.

Think about which of your relatives are likely to take your ethical concerns seriously, and say this to them: "I really appreciate that you're helping me get clothes. I don't want to sound snobbish or ungrateful, but I actually prefer sweat-free clothes." (You may have to explain what "sweat-free" means.) Then name a few alternative stores/brands that are sweat-free so your relatives will know what their options are.

Again, only do this with relatives who will be understanding. Standing up for your principles is good, but it's not worth starting a fight with your family over. For those who you don't think will accommodate you, just say thank you, accept the gift card and exchange it, as has been suggested by other helpful folks on this forum.

One last thing: even with people who are willing to buy you gift cards for sweat-free clothes, don't push your morals on them. That's alienating and doesn't do any good. You seem to understand that already, but it bears reminding.

Good luck, and thank you for trying to make the world a little better.

Good advice. But one thing I'd personally recommend: Don't use the phrase "sweat-free" and don't try to "explain the term" to anybody else, it just makes you look like a pretentious poser.

There ain't nothing wrong with sweat. Many good things require people to sweat in order for these things to come about.

The thing is, because you label something "sweat-free" doesn't mean you have an actual clue as to the worker or the working condition of wherever that was made. Now, "fair-trade" or "unionized" or "made by hand by people who were compensated for their work in a way that made them both happy and able to afford food, clothes, and housing," those are concepts that make sense and are good uses of the English language. "Sweat-free" is just marketing talk for what's cool on the politically correct moral agenda for today.

"Sweat-free." Gads.

BookBeast: Probably the best, most reasoned comment I've seen on the topic, and I've read most of them.

Travelall: Excellent point, as well.