Why are so many people comparing this to a parent preventing their child from getting into a sexual relationship they don't approve of?

A parent is charged as guardian of their child because human brains are not fully formed until their 20s, and teenagers weigh benefits heavier than risks, even if they are overestimating risks.

Additionally, a parent preventing their child from having sex is thinking about the long-term mental and emotional repercussions. An adult nearing the end of his or her life who is losing mental capacity more quickly than building it has the experience to make his or her own decisions and does not have another 60 years, a career, or other future responsibilities to worry about.

I do wonder what "Bob"s horrible son thought the 82-yr-old gold digger with dementia who can't live independently would want with his inheritance. It defies logic.

"A parent is charged as guardian of their child because human brains are not fully formed until their 20s, and teenagers weigh benefits heavier than risks, even if they are overestimating risks."

You've more or less answered your own question here, you could be describing an adult with dementia, if you leave out the 20s part.

Do you understand why somebody who is not mentally competent needs a guardian or power of attorney to look after them?

People with dementia do strange things to their bodies, and yes, the comparison is somewhat valid. Except that they are worse than teenagers. You often can't leave a person with severe dementia alone. They wander and possibly hurt themselves. So yes, the responsibility weighs heavy on those charged with their care.

I don't agree w/ not letting them have a little pleasure in their old age, but I don't necessarily agree w/ stopping teenagers above the age of consent, either.

If I'm having sex at 90, I don't think I'd need to worry about most of the issues teens need to be concerned about. There wouldn't be an issue of pregnancy. In a nursing home, it's unlikely anyone would get an STD. A 90 year old is old enough to understand the emotional risks, even with dementia, unlike most teens.

People need to consider what they would want if the tables were turned. If I want to have sex at 90, and my kids butt in, I'd be livid. Even if it kills me - which is unlikely - how many years would it really be taking off, especially if I'm already losing my ability to reason?

I got chastised over my WWII comments, so I'llbe nicer here:

Yes dementia patients ARE like children, even their facilities diminish so that they are unable to feed themselves, control their bowel movements, and unable to speak. So the article used an accurate analogy.

And Incogneto, throughout the general population, STDs have increased most within the elderly population. Syphilis, ghonerhea have all increased by leaps within the over 65 population. Only HIV has grown amongst black women and genital warts amongst youth.

IncogNeato:

In a nursing home, it's unlikely anyone would get an STD.

Sadly, that is incorrect. Dementia wards & nursing homes are notorious for their rapid transmission of STD's, including HIV. A single HIV+ patient introduced to an otherwise stable patient population will result in most, if not all, residents being HIV+ within a year.

Dementia patients, especially Alzheimer's patients, do not have many of the same barriers & inhibitions to seeking physical comfort & pleasure that people with full mental faculties do. There are many anecdotal reports of strongly heterosexual men engaging in homosexual activities. Same thing with women. The instinct to seek physical pleasure is one of the last to go.

A needlestick in a dementia ward is probably more dangerous for a healthcare worker than any other provider situation besides a psych unit, and for many of the same reasons. They are caring for people who cannot give a full report on their own health.

eacole:

Sadly, that is incorrect. Dementia wards & nursing homes are notorious for their rapid transmission of STD's, including HIV. A single HIV+ patient introduced to an otherwise stable patient population will result in most, if not all, residents being HIV+ within a year.

Unless the HIV+ patient has vaginal/anal/oral sex with every resident in the facility, OR the staff is unlucky enough to transfer it to every resident by needle sticks, it's not gonna happen.

apropos1,

While a dementia patient's mental capacity may diminish to a more child-like point of development, the concerns regarding their sexuality are different.

The most valid reasons for teenagers to be careful with sex are those concerning long-term repercussions like pregnancy and serious emotional impact. Early sexual experiences affect a person's sense of self and the world in a very different way than later ones.

A dementia patient has been there done that with the intimacy and has a sense of self that is 50+ years more developed than a teen. They are not going to get pregnant. They know the mechanics of the act. And it's not too difficult to provide condoms (and educate them on the use of condoms, if necessary).

As a nurse who has taken care of hundreds and hundreds of people with dementia, I'm appalled that people on Slate are lumping them all together as one. Dementia is a disorder on a spectrum--some people have a mild case of dementia, some moderate some severe. Many of them have periods of great mental clarity.

What do you want these souls to do rot away the rest of their days without joy, pleasure, love and companionship? How selfish.

Failure to thrive is not just a syndrome for infants.

I think myfray has made a very valid point: not all elderly patients suffering from dementia behave like unruly teenagers. The severity of the disease and the fact that it affects each individual differently is what makes it so challenging for adult children. My paternal grandmother suffered from dementia in her later years, but always remained very serene and sweet-tempered. My father, on the other hand, has changed from Cary Grant into a mean-spirited Archie Bunker, and in recent years has behaved like a horny teenager with a trust fund. He is still mentally 'together' to be considered competent, or at least lucid enough to know which face to display when his girlfriend's eldercare workers visit. I can't help but wonder if his dementia is due (in part) to an undiagnosed STD. You just never know, and I imagine the challenge is to have his GP on your side to do the necessary bloodwork to find out if the elderly parent has a clean bill of sexual health. (Being an adult can really stink sometimes.....It's not enough that we have keep our teens std-free, now we have to worry about our aging parents as well....)