For a short time, my mother, the artist, was also my mother, the author. She had a weekly art column in the county paper. Most of the time she'd use her own pen-and-ink sketches to illustrate some technique - the column was meant to inspire readers to explore their inner artist. Her mantra was (and still is) that anyone could draw. She taught high school art for many years and helped a lot of kids realize that skill.

One afternoon she asked me to draw a chair. She handed me one of her sketch pens and a pad of drawing paper. I looked at her, suspicion looming in my eight-year-old eyes. You're not going to put this in the newspaper, are you? I asked. Oh no, she assured me. Of course I won't.

Of course she did.

The column's focus was on perspective and how children develop a sense of how to place things in space so that they make visual sense. My chair, of course, was the "before" while her sketch of a chair was the "after". I was mortified. I think I might be still kind of mad at her - not for using my picture, but for not being honest about it.

Ultimately, that's what Bazelon's kids will have to work out with her - was she honest? Did she set them up to use them for material? (I really don't think she does that - this is something that they might think as they get older.) Are Eli and Simon's foibles (or Bazelon's for that matter) portrayed accurately? And are these stories about them or about parenting them?

So, just a word of advice to Emily, when Simon says, are you going to write about this? - Tell the truth.

To me the question is the breaks columnists offer their own family members as opposed to what they offer other people.

Columnists typically get comment when including information that might cause someone embarassment. But he or she typically doesn't offer the subject of the piece the right of deletion.

Is it different in the case of a child? Sure, but I think there's a basic problem when journalists offer themselves and their families a break they don't give to other people.

In the blogosphere I am sure this would be thought hopelessly 20th century, but I believe journalists including columnists should only write about themselves when their situations are the most emblematic, cutting and telling examples they can find.

I admire Emily Bazelon and am a steadfast Gabfest listener, but I think she and other columnists should get out of the house more.

Hi newsroom rat. You know, I’ve always liked the Rotary International 4 Way Test:

1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

Do they teach that in journalism school? Should they? Maybe Blogger should post a link to it on their signup page. But for writers, add

1. Is it INTERESTING or USEFUL? To ANYONE besides me?

I comment on Emily’s reactions or responses rather than on her kids when I respond to a Family article because I agree with Gentle Reader’s post. I think Emily is trying to write about her struggles or her questions instead of focusing on her kids’ behavior. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always make for riveting reading and can often inspire people around here to discuss (and by discuss, I’m implying attack) the kid instead of the parent. And that, at least to me, doesn’t meet any of those 5 items above.

hi bright virago,

My parents' test for us (I don't know where it came from) was to ask ourselves these questions before saying something:

Is it true?

Is it kind?

Is it necessary?

Not bad questions, though perhaps on the sugary-sweet side.

In news, you want everything in a piece to be true and necessary. It doesn't have to be kind.

And yes, I think columns and blogs should meet the test of being news. That is, they should offer information that's new and interesting.

Thanks for posting that - it inspired me to try to find the source of the quote. My girlfriends and I have been using this as our litmus test for whether or not something is gossip, in which we prefer not to indulge.

Everyone from Socrates to Eleanor Roosevelt to Ann Landers to somebody's grandma gets the credit, apparently.

The word necessary is often exchanged with useful which is interesting to me. How often that difference is overlooked. It is necessary for me to know that a major roadway is closed because of heaving flooding. It is useful for me to know some tips for preventing fingernail biting.