Ah, diaper fetishes. I remember, at the age of 14 or 15, reading "The Autobiography of Malcom X," and coming across the part where X, still a pimp, learns that rich white guys have the most insane requests of the prostitutes. The one that had me dating blue-collar types for years afterwards was a description of a diaper/powdering kind of thing. That's the kind of detail that lingers in a young person's mind well after the rest of the book fades into a mushy recollection.
Do him the honor of indulging this deeply weird scenario before you break up. This will do two things. It will demystify this fetish, put it in real life terms. And second, it will help you figure out the boundaries of what you're comfy with. I mean, is he going to use the diapers as Lever intended and make you change them? Or is he going to revert to acting like a helpless baby? Like -- is this a strictly diaper fetish or is this an infant-acting thing? The way you put it, he seems to just want to wear them.
I guess the only other words of advice I'd have are to not let him get in his Huggies to the exclusion of the stuff you like, and to not hold this thing over his head and make him feel like an awful person for it. That is, no controlling from either of you. Just honesty, boundaries and deciding if his being truthful about his desires means you being miserable. Sex, after all, is kind of a big deal. Good luck.
LW#2:
Srsly? Just refuse to take part, tell your partner's brother in advance, let the fiancee know this is weird, unfair and degrades your partnership and, actually now, family.
I suppose at the wedding, if your man starts getting bothered, he can scream, "Jesus, I'm having a baby with my partner, I think I get an exemption from this freaky hillbilly-Shirley-Jackson-bizarro-old-world crap!" Nothing like calling a nasty tradition "hillbilly" and "Shirley Jackson" ("The Lottery," people, you read it in high school) to make sure your in-law-in-laws never bug you (or see you!) again.
LW#3
Record away. Forget your parents. Everyone thinks this is weird until the funeral. Also, as a professional interviewer, I highly, highly recommend reading up on interviewing techniques to get the most out of the stories you record. It's not like Matt Lauer at all, trying to pin someone down, it's a process of eliciting a lot of information, a lot of deep information, and putting it into a context.
Something that will help you is to get your grandparents to do a chronology as you talk to them — this is where they lived from 19XX-19XX, this is the next job they took, etc. — it's a very helpful tool to organize the information you'll collect. And having all those old stories that you loved to hear growing up on tape will be a real treasure.
Don't worry about morbidity. What you're doing is important to you and your family. Trust me, even if they think in the front of their minds that you're doing this out of the slightest bit of morbidity they'll still like talking about themselves far, far more.
LW#4
If you're pissed about it, does it help to reframe it in terms of, "My daughter will her daughter's namesake"?
No? Does it help that your daughter and her daughter won't be in the same class together at school (barring some massive screw-ups on the part of your kid or massive brilliance on the part of hers)? No?
Then just say, "Not like I can tell you what to do, and I'm kind of flattered that you want to rip me off, but I really want my daughter to be the only Unique around. Otherwise, purpose defeated! Why not try some of these names: Seven, Pilot Inspector, Moxie Crimefighter, Audio Science (or Audiology, for short), Neveah, Pussy Galore, Jermajesty."
There is a whole world of unusual but not too exotic names out there. I can't blame your friend for being overwhelmed.
Other high-quality, yet you-never-hear-them names that are crazy enough to come into vogue:
Persimmon, Dutchie, Pronto, BizQuick, Ranger, Paladin, Quenya, Parisite, Avion, Vermillion, Cerebus, Carrie-Boo, Tarantella, Marzipan, Kimberlite, Jemima, Persnickity, Spaniel, Linux, Laureth Sulfate, Bodacia, Pride Goethe, Master Hamster, Chellaque, Shillax, Shiraz or Malbec for a boy, Chardonnay or Cabernet for a girl, Absinthe for either sex (though it would best describe the parent, most likely), Wheatina, Tapioca, Kee-Noah, Hepzibah, Pilate Inspector, Dino Soor, Pharenzic, Ojibwe, Peneleponesian, Forsooth, Weskit, Manowar, Pumpkin, Parlay, Skittle, Euphonia, Tyvek, Mirabile Dictu, Pluperfect, Obstetricia (trish for short), Diazepam.
Anyone else got any baby name suggestions?
