Another question is whether or not the guy goes to prostitutes to exercise his fetish. While interviewing prostitutes and their customers, I learned that about a third of their clients were perverts. They go to prostitutes because their women will not accept their perversion. Your story sounds true, because the man had been leading a double, secret life for years, of which his lover knew nothing. He is also ashamed of his perversion; masochists and sadists often ranked themselves above boring people like me, but the fetishists were usually miserable about it. Diapers and other forms of "babyism" are things we frequently saw. Rare fetishes include nose-picking fetishism, when the client pays a prostitute to pick her nose while he masturbates. If the woman will indulge her man's fetish, she might keep him faithful, happy, and home.

The details are in my book, Games Prostitutes Play, <link>.

Farer_david6@yahoo.it

I just watched Homer plug a fog machine into his car's cigarette lighter - now that's crazy !!!!!

Personally, I find that a fog machine (plus lasers, flash pots and black lights if I can get them) really adds to the "mood" when I want to sex it up like a rock star. But I don't really think of it as a fetish.

:o)

If the woman will indulge her man's fetish, she might keep him faithful, happy, and home.

Or if the man had received some counseling to find out why nose picking during masturbation turned him on....

Or if the man had been honest about his fetish, she would have had a chance to pick someone else who didn't have it...

I get quite upset at the idea that women should just be stuck with crazy men and that somehow it's our faults that they are dishonest and crazy. If a woman can't expect better than that... The world is in sorry shape and I definitely would rather be alone than in a situation such as you describe.

The prostitute thing is another reason to cut and run, not a reason to indulge.

It's also a reason to get tested for STDs immediately

Right on, deduction.

the guy probably doesn't want to wear diapers. He just wants them in his life. So...diaper your whole house! Done right, you could have a swinging mid-century modern/Clockwork Orange-type thing happening.

LOL!!! That's it, yggy. If I ever have a house to decorate, I have to hire you!!

Ok, I made this point in another post, but I will make it here as well. I am a long winded blowhard, so I will keep it short. If anyone is interested in what I think is a well thought out argument about this very type of topic OR really likes Heinlein, read Jubal Harshaw's ass chewing of Ben Caxton and their bet, in 'Stranger in a Strange Land'.

The point is, the OP ot LW or whatever you call it, didnt even care enough about the guy in question to find out what he was really asking for, what he was requesting of her, or what he was trying to tell her. If it took him 4 years to do it, its not something that would come to him easily. And if acting like a child is all he can expect from her, her running away shouting 'COOOOTIES' at the top of her lungs , after 4 years of being together, without giving him a fair hearing or even trying to understand what he was saying, he is FAR better off without her.

And if its a deal breaker for her, or for Deduction, then both of them deserve to be alone.

There is not one righteous among you, no, not one.

William Diaz:

And if its a deal breaker for her, or for Deduction, then both of them deserve to be alone.

There is not one righteous among you, no, not one.

I would agree with you that after 4 years, he deserves to at least be able to discuss it, rather than the running away and yelling "oooh, cooties." The LW does seem a bit childish about it.

But are you saying that anyone who is not willing to accept a wierd sexual fetish from their partner "deserves to be alone.?" Are you saying that the person who rejects certain behaviors in their choice of mate is the bad guy, rather than the one who has chosen to pursue an activity that the vast majority of people find, at best ridiculous, and at worst absolutely revolting?

Because if that's what you're saying, you're going to need a much stronger arguement than just a statement of opinion.

William,

The fact that she did not include those details in her letter does not necessarily mean that she did not discuss those details with him. It's possible that she was just too horrified to put them in writing or that the letter was truncated.

And "righteous"? Really? Righteous? You're bringing righteousness into a conversation about whether a woman is obliged to accommodate a fetish her partner hid from her for four years? No one is stoning anyone here; no one is being excommunicated; she's just deciding whether to leave a guy who wants to wear diapers.

Between that and the "deserves to be alone", you just sound like someone with his own complications who wants to rain the moral fires down on the head of any who dare reject you.

Selene212:

she's just deciding whether to leave a guy who wants to wear diapers.

If that were the case, she'd be worthy of support and compassion. But go read her post here in the Fray. She is deadset against leaving him. What she wants is for him to change so that she can stay in a relationship exactly on her terms. Which, while understandable in a way, is a horrible thing for her to do to both of them.

Susan,

I agree, wanting him to stay with her and change to suit her needs is both selfish and unrealistic.