LW1 - Waiting Sister

What the hell is Prudie hiding that she gets so worked up about the LW finding the letter in the night table? Note to Prudie - night tables are NOT decent hiding places; night tables are for heating pads and chapstick storage, just as the letter writer assumed. I'm all about respecting privacy, I don't snoop or eavesdrop or things of that nature, but I think Prudie overreacted about how the LW found out this information. She's already writing because she feels so akward about how she discovered this info, does Prudie really think that using words like "such a violation" and "radioactive nature" in order to scold the LW is helping?

LW3—Separate Beds

Umm, ok, I understand what you're trying to do, but I think your kids probably roll thier eyes when you continue to put on this charade. It would be much like the eye-roll your 13 year old would give you if you tried to convice them that Santa Clause really exists. "Yeah, whatever, mom."

If you're that concerned about being inappropriate in front of your children, why are you so loose when it comes to the issue of having a physical relationship with a man whom you don't even plan to marry? You wanna talk the talk? Well, you gotta walk the walk too.

Yeah, and Prudie, way to go overboard (again) with that whole "earlobe-sucking-tale-over-cor­nflakes" scenario. Are those really the only 2 options in Prudie-land? Either be juvenile and annoyingly coy about the state of your relationship, or be graphically descriptive? Hmph.

LW4 - On the Wing

Anyone who lets a couple of birds crap on them for 2 years deserves to have a couple of birds crap on them for 2 years.

Anyone who lets a couple of birds crap on them for 2 years deserves to have a couple of birds crap on them for 2 years.

& that is written in stone.

Well done, very well done. Bravo to you!

Way to go, especially that last one.

Keep in mind that LW1 not only went into the night-table, but then opened an envelope that she found in there.

She is probably NOT 21, though.

OK Prudie there is much more here than you or anyone else has addressed...

First (as the 'girl' mentioned) she is supposedly 21 and living at home. This girl needs to wake up and realize that she is a woman now (if in fact she is 21). As an adult, the young woman needs to approach her mother as such and yes apologize for reading the letter, as sealed letters no matter where they are, belongs to the addressee.

Second: the 'cat is out of the bag' so they should discuss the child placed up for adoption and clear the air.

Third: if the daughter and mother don't get along so well (why is a 21 year-old still living at home in such a relationship?) this is the time to start being transparent, mend fences and get on with life!

Four: What happened to Dad? I would think that the daughter would be more interested in knowing what, how and where her true father is??! Yes he may have drunk a lot 20 some odd years ago, but maybe life is/was different back then and he is now a better man! At least find out. He may be a great guy now with a loving family and the daughters may have step-siblings who, quite frankly are just as closely related as their mother's child out of wedlock (unless the father was also the girls' father).

This family needs a lot of help and I suspect that outside counseling may be in order.

What about the sister that this girl so badly wants to know about and find? What if she doesn't want to be found and is happy where she is and or what if she was never told that she was adopted? Anybody think of that? I am adopted and have always known and don't agree with not telling children when they are but some parents don't and so the potential to destroy a family is huge with just deciding you have the right because you are half sisters...I mean really how selfish can this girl be? Why is she still living at home and getting in her mothers things-most adult I know respect other peoples privacy including night stand drawers! So she needs to keep her mouth shut and respect that this is something her mother wants to keep to herself. Purdie mind your own business on things you know nothing about and didn't take the time to think of ALL the parties your advice will affect! And legally they are not family why is the need to pry so strong with this 'waiting sister'? Finding birth family puts adoptees in a hard position. I seen all aspects and it never works out the way one or the other wants it to. Seekers beware!

I found my biological mom, sister and brother. The letter that was in the nightstand was forms to fill out to give permission from the mother to be found. I needed peace in my heart and I finally got that when I found my biological family. I was also kept a secret and that was the difficult part for my birth mother to tell her other children about. Not every adopted child had a wonderful childhood either. My mother didn't want to give me up but was too young and didn't know how to keep me. It didn't help that everyone was telling her what she needed to do. I know that it was also her that needed to find peace in her heart. Now she is much more free and happy, that so much has been taken off her heart. Also, children that are adopted don't have to feel ashamed to find their biological parents. Or made to feel like they are betraying their adoptive parents. Emotionally we don't have to justify our feelings and should be able to put the peices together and feel whole and loved! Most adopted children are wanted and loved by their adopted and biological family, that is the best feeling once you put all the peices back together! Growing up I never fit in and was more sensitive and treated with more rejection and never hugged or understood. I always felt rejected. That is the last thing an adopted child needs. Emotionally I needed to grow and fit in. I feel much more stable and happy now.

Well here we go again, just like the other board. New board, same lies about adoption. hkelements wrote:

"Finding birth family puts adoptees in a hard position".

How DARE you say that! how DARE you speak for all adoptees. God, you are so selfish and immature! I don't beleive you are even adopted and everyone knows members of the NCFA, a group of anal and beyond self-centered adoptive "parents" go all over the internet, along with their paid employees, pushing adoption and closed adoption records. They pretend they are adoptees too saying I never want to find my real family and birth mothers who put their own flesh and blood into the arms of strangers via open adoption and are so thrilled about it-Your remark that "legally they are not family" is the most ridiculas thing I have heard-INK can not separate real families, and either can STUPID laws, and who are you to speak for the child that was adopted? How the hell do you know she probably doesn't want to know her own people? Every member of a family, a bloodline is precious and important, even if they were born out of wedlock-every person has a God given right to know who their parents are, along with siblings, cousins, and aunts & uncles and the adoption industry and the church never had any right to try to split them up. If you read the book, "The Girls Who Went Away" by Anne Fessler, you will see that before 1951 all records were opened to adoptees so we could always know who our real familiees were-then in 1951 adoption agencies were finding people were reluctant to adopt because potential adoptive parents were afraid our mothers would come back and rightfully take us so "sales from babies were low-NONE OF OUR MOTHER'S EVER WANTED PRIVACY FROM US-THERE WERE NO PAPERS SIGNED-THAT IS A LIE, FROM THE ADOPTION INDUSTRY, THE CHURCH AND THE SOCIAL WORKERS-from the 50's until now even, babies were FORCED AND COERSED away from single pregnant females in "maternity homes" that were like prisons-they were lied too, denied the legal information that they could of kept us, emotionally blackmailed and in the Catholic maternity homes told they would go to hell if they kept us (which is a total sleezy lie). It is a lie too, to PUT AN INFERTILE WOMAN'S NAME ON OUR BIRTH CERTIFICATES THAT SAYS SHE GAVE BIRTH TO US-adoptes are still not allowed to have our original birth certificates even when we are 50 years old, with our real parents names on them-they are locked in a vault to cover up all the lies that the adoption industry and the church has told. Keeping us from all our information is against the Constitution and we are the last group of people in America that have our civil rights oppressed and are still being predjudiced against. Closed adoption records is a HATE CRIME-and so is Pro Adoption people coming on the internet, spreading the same lies and mindsets. Prudie was right about them all sitting down and trying to find the poor sister that is part of their family, and I am glad she sees families should be together. Howard's advice to gop get counseling is BEYOND STUPID, because it does not work, and psychiaty and psychology NEVER talk about the damage closed records, being adopted in both open and closed adoptions does to a human being because alot of psychologists and psychiatrists are adoptive parents-they also want adoptees oppresed and depressed so they can prescribe drugs and get their sleezy commissions for that-a few in the psycholgy profession have admitted they can not help women who's babies were forced from them or adoptees-the only cure is reunion. If you are adopted and have a reunioun via the sleezy adoption agency that may of changed your birthdate or let your adoptive parents do that, which of course is CHILD ABUSE, make SURE, make SURE you get a DNA test with the woman they say is your mother after you meet her. ADOPTION IS NOTHING BUT LIE UPON LIE UPON LIE and you can not trust anyone who makes money off of it or people who pay to put a child in a life of lies, ie: adoptive parents.

Oh heck man, you're right, we should just go back to orphanages and workhouses, eh? Much better than giving up children to homes we hope will be loving and nurturing and better than what a single, young, unprepared mother can give.

Or perhaps you prefer abortion?

What a rant! Have you heard of paragraphs? Why did you hate your adoptive parents so much? Hmmm?

So you're trying to tell us there is this huge and highly profitable adoption industry out there, just waiting to grab babies away from poor, confused teenaged mothers and sell them to the highest bidder. Is that about it?

Would that be something like the huge and highly profitable abortion indiustry with their multibillion-dollar advertising budgets lurking out there waiting to kill the unborn.

The facts are that these activities are run by non-profit agencies who do what they do only because of the dire need for their services.

Hey Tonto, remember an old poster Vanessa? The troll really reminds me of her.

AdoptionisChildAbuse:

how DARE you speak for all adoptees. God, you are so selfish and immature!

Like you are doing? Like you are?

AdoptionisChildAbuse:

They pretend they are adoptees too saying I never want to find my real family and birth mothers who put their own flesh and blood into the arms of strangers via open adoption and are so thrilled about it-

Have you been treated for your paranoia yet? Was your borth mother on crack?

AdoptionisChildAbuse:

NONE OF OUR MOTHER'S EVER WANTED PRIVACY FROM US-THERE WERE NO PAPERS SIGNED-THAT IS A LIE, FROM THE ADOPTION INDUSTRY, THE CHURCH AND THE SOCIAL WORKERS-

My sister sure wanted - and wants -privacy from the child she gave up for adoption. I guess she doesn't count, though?

AdoptionisChildAbuse:

Prudie was right about them all sitting down and trying to find the poor sister that is part of their family, and I am glad she sees families should be together.

Poor sister? Maybe she was adopted by a millionaire (poor people rarely can afford adoption) and will think her birth family just wants money. Think "Billy Beer."

AdoptionisChildAbuse:

they also want adoptees oppresed and depressed so they can prescribe drugs and get their sleezy commissions for that-a few in the psycholgy profession have admitted they can not help women who's babies were forced from them or adoptees-the only cure is reunion.

I guess that answers my question about whether you've been treated for your paranoia.

Or just slightly nuts on the subject?

Time for your thorazine, dear.

I agree, although Vanessa had a little better command of the English language than this kumquat. This one is pretty strange but they both have that "I'm the only one that knows anything, you bunch of morons!" attitude.