I'm curious as to what age range everyone would consider for mates. I've known people that were very limited and people that were very open to whatever age. I also have known people to change their opinion on the subject (which makes sense to me as your maturity level and desires change) as they age.

So the question is:

1. How far outside your age would you date (older and/or younger)?

2. Has this changed over the years?

3. What gender are you?

Feel free to answer and expound on any of these and how you think your sex or age may have factored into the decision!!

age is immaterial. a person is interesting at 20 or 70. a dud is boring at 20 or 70. a person who takes pride in their appearance is sexy at 20 or 70. however, at 70, you know what you're going to get, and will have at 90. at 20, you never know. that slim 20 year old can and most likely will grow into a 200 pound dud who's interest in life is making it through the day. at 70, you see what you got, and you'll never get cheated.

i would date anyone over 30. under 30, they'd remind me of my daughters, aka children, and that would be a drop dead certain passion killer.

male, married, 58.

Agreed that a person can be interesting at any age. But perhaps interesting isn't enough for everyone. also having common interests and just being interesting are two separate things, i think. I've questioned myself before on just how common i'd need my spouse's interests to be. For example, i think having the same cultural references or religion is more important to some folks than others. I haven't come to a personal conclusion, though. (I definitely wouldn't want to date someone who could be my father, no matter how interesting they were. I agree: total passion killer!)

...and simplicity. that's why i said interesting, instead of matched interests. people just can't be together all the time. it's not healthy. that's why it's a given that each have their own interests and passions, but also that some interests intersect. an intelligent person will be interested in communicating the other's interests without developing avocation. what should match are morals, otherwise there will be bickering and hard feelings. intellect should also match, as otherwise communication will be lacking. but, for the woikin class, intellect doesn't have to match, as long as they are happy in the traditional role, one is smart, the other follows orders. that works too. LOL. but, the bottom line is, interesting people will never stop learning and evolving. duds will always be what they've always been. depression is a real problem in the US, that can destroy and change a person. other then that, an interesting person will always be full of surpirses and wonders. finding one with good morals and impulse control is a real challenge in the US though.

I'm sure many will be happy and eager to psychoanalyze me for this (unfavorably I'm sure--this is an internet forum, you know). But, when I was younger I found myself much more attracted to older women (I had relationships with women up to 20-25 years older than I was when I was in my 20's), and would not DREAM of having interest in someone even a couple of years younger than myself.

As I've gotten older, things have completely flipped. I've had relationships with women 20-25 years YOUNGER than I am now.

If I were to analyze MYSELF, I think the reason would be: intrigue with someone DIFFERENT from myself. When I was younger I was drawn to the power and assurance (neither of which I possessed to a great degree) of older women. Now I'm drawn to the resilience and passion of youth (qualities which, uh, have faded somewhat for me).

1. How far outside your age would you date (older and/or younger)?

not too far. Exceptions will always be made for visual artists. I could fall for one of them any time.

2. Has this changed over the years?

never really thought about it. Um, no I guess it hasn't.

3. What gender are you?

male

1. (Assuming I was single again at my current age/position in life) : I'd date a man who was 10 years older long before I'd date one 5 years younger. I'm in my late 20's. My priorities and lifestyle don't match up with most guys I've met under 25. Since men tend to live shorter lives and paternal age can increase birth defects, I don't think I'd go for a man more than 10 years older than me.

2. Yes - in college, more than 4 years would have been too much, with very few exceptions*, since there was such a difference in life station and life experience between a college kid coming right from HS and a person who has been out in the "real world" for a while. My lifestyle and point of reference just wasn't the same as it is now and I could not have been an equal in a relationship with a measurably older man. I expect if I were to become single again after having children I would have different parameters. Hopefully, that doesn't happen.

3. I'm female.

* Age differences and age preferences are generalizations and specific individual situations always trump general rules. My husband is 6 years older than me, but we are well matched in lifestyle/life position/goals etc., so the age issue hardly matters. My brother in law is about 12 years older than me and he and I relate well. It does not feel like there is a difference when we are all together, but I think he is an exception.

Me personally? 5-10 years older would be preferred if I were dating now. Older is too old. Guys I've dated below that ranged generally turned out to be idiots.

I have gone out with guys older, when I was young and naive and probably should have had a relative slap the guy around some. Alternately, they were blind dates, and I was lied to about how old they were.

FYI, my mother and my grandmother both married guys more than 10 years older. Dad treats Mom like an idiot child sometimes. My grandmother died before I was born, but I think a guy marrying a woman half his age is rather gross.

Yeah, I wouldn't have been born had my ancestors followed that rule. But someone would have been.

These are hard for me to answer, only had a couple casual boyfriends before I met hubby. I was 16, he was 21. Our 29th anniversary is Friday.

1. How far outside your age would you date (older and/or younger)?

As long as he is legal, it all depends on his personality & maturity. Honestly, I probably won't consider anyone too much younger then me.

2. Has this changed over the years?

Haven't even thought about it over the years.

3. What gender are you?

Gramma

If the two people are adults and share an attraction to each other than it doesnt matter what the age difference is. Obviously, when there are "circumstances" many of the social conventions get ignored (Hugh Heffner and his three twenty somethings for example), but normally social conventions are just that-conventions. Personally I like a wide range of women of many ages and looks, but I have always valued their personality above all else. Some were younger women more mature for their age and others were older women with a younger attitude. Either way, not every older guy wants to sit in the park and feed pigeons......accept that fact and you will be a bigger person. Male, 40, and not dead yet.

I'm a smidge older than you at around 30. But similar in that I would definitely take more of an age difference now than when I was in college and for the same reasons. In college, probably no more than a year younger and 2-3 years older. I liked the idea of someone having the same childhood experiences as me. I'm a huge lover of pop culture and I wanted someone who knew the same cartoons, music, etc... from when I grew up.

Now, 5 years younger wouldn't be so bad to me. I would prefer someone my age, but unlike you I'd rather someone younger than much older. I'd have much more in common with a 25 year old guy than a 40 year old man. So I'd probably ideally say between 25-35. The best would be if it were someone within a year of me. But if they were from a different culture then the age thing probably would mean less to me. I can't even remotely fathom being 18 and dating a 60 year old. There are always exceptions, sure. But there are limits even for those (at least, for me!).

It's about self-image. Everybody's got a cheerleader on your arm. So, you bring the Chevy dealer's ex with her new Vette. Now, everybody's got the Vette, so you bring the 20 year old pole dancer. Your name Steve Nardi? I call it the wise-guy syndrome. Anythng to enhance your status, cache and 'class'.

How close was I?

1. He has to be same as my age or older. For me, it is important for the guy to be older than me. He can be 29 years older than me but not even one year younger.

2. Yes, before I used to think "Age does not matter" but as I grew older, I feel I cannot be with a man younger than me. There's an 'icky' factor.

3. Female.

Maturity changes your opinion about different things in life. Also, being a woman, I'll feel secure with an older man, not younger.

deduction:

I'm curious as to what age range everyone would consider for mates. I've known people that were very limited and people that were very open to whatever age. I also have known people to change their opinion on the subject (which makes sense to me as your maturity level and desires change) as they age.

So the question is:

1. How far outside your age would you date (older and/or younger)?

2. Has this changed over the years?

3. What gender are you?

Feel free to answer and expound on any of these and how you think your sex or age may have factored into the decision!!

I meant: "He can be 20 years older than me but not even one year younger."

My husband is 16 years older than me. I was 25 and he was 41 when we met. We met at a bar (I know! So cliche!) and neither of us realized quite how large the age difference was until after we'd hung out a few times. By then, we both liked each other so much that we decided to give it a go.

I had never thought of any particular limits on age difference before I met him, but was a little concerned about the difference once we figured it out. But it's just never been an issue for us, we have a great relationship. I am assuming it may get harder when we reach "old age," as I think the differences in age are more exaggerated at either end of the spectrum. The difference between 70 and 85 seems a lot bigger to me in terms of health and functioning etc. But I can't imagine my life without him, so we'll just deal with that as it comes.