We were invited to the first two days of this four day event: a traditional Pakistani Muslim wedding. Last night was the "ceremony" which was more like a business contract between the groom and the bride's father, followed by a reception. The whole event took place in a hall; including the prayer time, I never went near a mosque... which surprised me a little. This was my first (and quite possibly last) invitation to any kind of event in Islam. I was expecting everything to be very new and different from my past cultural experiences, again, I was surprised how familiar the whole event felt; I spoke with my wife's nephews about faith and marriage, these were fine young men and the conversation was free and easy, people were shuffling and mingling, and the Muslim men wore modern suits as much as the traditional garb, the women all looked like wrapped gifts, but smiling, having fun, and I didn't see a single veil. No dancing, but family members chatted away with us... it felt very much like a wedding, full of vibrant music, and at one point the brothers and brother-in-laws of the groom made fools of themselves singing a song together... there was about 500 family and friends present.

The groom has to bribe his way into his own wedding; his closest family members block his entry and he has to haggle out a fair price to bribe his brothers and male cousins ... I shot back there to see this, and they were all laughing and one of the young men closest shook my hand and I quipped, "I wanted to see if he would survive this" - the groom laughed and went on talking down their prices. My stepson told me that he once made $70 at the door of one wedding... if that group all did as well, the groom forked over a thousand dollars just to get in.

This event had formal announcements for each of the family members, the last to be introduced was the bride and her father who shot back after the contract to the bride's room. But her entry was very nonchalant, not as dramatic as the bride's walk down a christian/catholic church aisle. However, at the night before event, which was kind of a combined bachelor party for close family... with open seating (about 200 attended) the entrances were more dramatic; the bride came in surrounded by her court holding a silk cloth aloft over her head; now that, was cool.

I've trained for ministry in the Christian faith and felt a genuine respect from these members of Islam; there was a living faith that we share, I asked about their prayer and spoke about life experiences with my wife and our faith... this was a favorite auntie to them when they were children so I had an inside door, but I never saw one grimace, one wince, one moment of tension, anything to suggest that my faith was the enemy of Islam... it just was not the case. Bear in mind that these young men are in their late 20's or barely 30 years old, born and raised in America... first generation; their parents were born and raised in Pakistan.

My catholic raised wife was married for a dozen years to this family; I have been on the fringes for 16 years now; each time I would read all these posts on the fray declaring all these passages in the Quran which suggest that Muslems are out to slaughter Christians as infidels... I have never seen any evidence that this is the case in the real world... certainly not in America. Instead, where there was tension between my wife and her ex over infidelity; a natural hurdle for me to get over with my stepson's family, it was the common language of faith that bridged our two worlds; although we approach God through different scriptures and methods, we worship the same God... the God of Abraham, and we can sense that our faiths are in essence the same breath of the holy spirit that Jesus released, that the Messenger brought to them, either you believe or you don't, outward forms are different, cultures are different, religious practices are different, but inward faith is the same. I discovered this with the jewish faith 30 years ago, my childhood having much more access to that religion. We all worship the same God; the God of Abraham.

We had a good time. My wife's niece is now a "Sultan Ali"... the groom's last name. I'm thinking that a last name like that must have some history behind it. Frankly, I think she is lucky to be immersed in such a rich culture, surrounded by two large families; sure there is the stress of family pressures and expectations (no different than any culture) but there is also a ton of love and support. This family is very educated, they are all smart people (the nephews I sat with were Ron Paul supporters, loved hearing my banking testimony) and very much a part of mainstream Americana. I came away with a new feeling of kinship for what was always the most challenging part of my marriage... because, 16 years ago, when I counseled her to sign over my stepson's custody to his father, away from the ministry I trained in to the mosque and the Quran, I did so in faith, faith in a God who would reconcile all things back to Him... and even though this resulted in an elder's expulsion from my own ministry, I never second guessed that decision, I knew it was the best thing to do for my new stepson... last night confirmed to me that it was not just that, but it also gave a rich culture to this young man that deepened his faith in God and consequently sent him seeking for his own personal quest of understanding between the Catholic, Christian, and Muslim forces in his upbringing. The name of Jesus carries him forward, however he calls on that name, in our world we have discovered the depths and riches of Allah the most merciful - walking our individual paths, joined through faith, and living in America.

SSHHH,

You'll be called un American for seeing the humanity in others.

some of my mother's brothers went Muslim, some Christian.

I was accustomed to the afternoon chanting when we got together for easter ... it was a strange world but it was home to me.

I thought the Catholics were a denomination within Christianity, like the Eastern Orthodoxy, Baptists, Anglicans, and Methodists.

Have they declared independence or have you excommunicated them?

than they are different. They both were formed in the 7th century post Roman world, they both are big on religious participation, chanting, architecture, robes, authority, judgment, and alms. They both hold up God as this almighty far away in heaven all powerful figure; whom you are more likely to meet after you die than in the present life (born again experience). My wife was raised catholic and spent 12 years as a muslim wife and she said it was very much the same religion, your behavior and attitude expectations are very similar.

The history of Christianity has never ceased to be a history of persecution from the bigger religions. At least, that's my perspective. When it was first formed, Jesus and his followers were all jews and were persecuted by the jewish religion, but as the faith spread it came into conflict with the worldwide religion of Babylonish and Greek gods; which morphed into the catholic religion (catholic means worldwide) split between the west (roman) and east (byzantine) that gave ground to the prophet and his like appetite for Christian sects that were hunted or tolerated by these forces, but never really the same... yet, all these lands and times sought to worship the same God. Once you cross over into India, you get into a different civilization with different gods, and a different faith... but it still is faith; I've always noted the contrast between the act of believing (faith) and the practice of doctrinal forms and behavior (religion).

The reformation declared some independence from the Roman catholic church, but I think the major separation between them all has been the name of Jesus; this is ironic because it presupposes that the catholics and the reformed churches are closer related when in reality the older religions have more in common, as do the oldest religions... irregardless of the name of their deity(ies).

I'm not one to lump all religion together the way some like to do around here, although there are common threads of practice to be sure, I've always felt the content of the faith is the biggest concern; of course, if you don't believe any of it, you wouldn't care for the content... but, I'm a believer, so the content is important to me.

I can tell you are a Believer by your selective use of capitalization.

that's probably more a product of my tired old flesh... that and my typos. I wish these posting windows had a spell and grammar check in the firefox menu.

I am not a believer. I cannot be sure, but it seems to me that many believers think that faith systems are coherent and somewhat static. But I think they are like old tables that have been shellacked a thousand times. Strip off one layer and there is another beneath that may have a lot in common with a layer of shellack applied to a different table at around the same time.

...especially when you consider that oil finishes are a type of annointing to the natural wood; symbolic of God's annointing upon natural man. But when you read about how God annointed all these different lives that went before us; it still doesn't bring the faith to life until it catches fire inside us. Jesus said that he came to set fire to the world and that he realized there were already many fires burning ... faith is only understood when that fire is burning inside you.

A good shellacking is what religion seems to do to logic. But if the fumes make you feel good then party on Days.

definitely not the foundation for religion. Myself, I'm not religious. Religionists tend to persecute the faithful, how ironic is that? Never mistake piety for humility, nor being good for following the Spirit, the old hard shellac is stuck in place and time, but the fumes are free to follow the wind. I've tried a lot of different fumes, none compare to the holy spirit, He's the best high available. (gives new nuance to "the most high God")

To me religion is the bureaucratized version of faith. But if it keeps people docile and eases their journey to oblivion then I guess it has some redeeming value. It's only when the Faithful start to capitalize their Faith and no others that I start to get nervous.

EVERYONE BELIEVES IN SOMETHING...

what you believe in determines what you do to others.

I think it was WC Fields who said "A man has got to believe in something. I believe I will have another drink!"

I believe you are right.