I was going to see the midnight showing of Indy and the Kingdom of the Whatever wednesday night, but through a happy accident, some wonderful act of God, I went to bed instead, and saw it thursday evening.

As I heard later, that day I was one of many thousand Indiana Jones fans who was duped into making Paramount Studios $25 million richer. The worst part is, now they'll think this is the kind of crap we want to see.

Crystal Skull fell through on everything good about the first three Indy's: it had no originality, no good story, and no strange but refreshing lack of alien conspiracies. I have to say, my viewpoint might be different if the movie had been put forth as the typical 1970s Steven Spielberg scifi movie. They could have used Harrison Ford, he could have been a archeaology professor, and my only complaint would have been it was too much like Indiana Jones. But no. Instead, Spielberg took a brilliant trilogy that has always been about magic, religion, and ancient mysticism, and torn it down into a cheesy alien abduction. Oh, yeah, spoiler alert: the crystal skull is the psychic remnants of a member of an alien race that ruled El Dorado. Compare to ark of the covenant, or the magic powers required to pull a beating heart out of a man's chest, or the holy grail. You might, as I did, find it slightly less effective.

The movie was cliched from the title sequence, too. Well, I just the first ten minutes or so were okay, aside from the introduction of our Soviet villians. Communists? Really? In 2008. I suppose it's no worse than Nazis in the 80s, but...no. And I know, with the timeline, it's correct, but they might as well be Nazis for all it matters what their motivation is. Then we again have the classic classroom scene, which would be fine, even nostalgic, if the creativity picked up from there. But it didn't. The dialouge was boring and cliched, the story was boring and cliched, even the action scenes, which are the absolute hallmark of the series, were boring and cliched. They fence on top of cars. Very reminiscent of Pirates of the Caribbean, and I personally prefer the waterwheel scene in that movie. Shia LeBouf swings through the jungle with an army of monkeys. Not just stupid, also very...well, very stupid. Cute, though, which was just what I was looking for in my summer action blockbuster.

I'll give a few "spoilers" as examples of how predictable this gets. Mutt (Shia LeBouf) is Indy's son the Soviet menace is destroyed by its lust for knowledge and absolutism, and Indy and Marion get married at the end, with cheers from a crowd of familiar faces and Mutt grudingly accepting Indiana as his true father, just in time to don the famous fedora. (Thank God, he doesn't actually put on the hat. That was definitely the most frightening part of the movie, when the music perked up and the cap clung menacingly to his hand.)

So, to conclude, history and the "ancient film" students of the future will probably turn out better if we discount Kingdom of the Crystal Skull as an Indiana Jones movie, and pick up at number four with "Indiana Jones and the Untimely Death of Harrison Ford", which I predict will be named such because the legend will drop dead part way through filming. Much like I found myself he was going to all throughout this monstrosity.

I think cblaugher above, got it right.

In fairness there seem to be some people that have liked it, but for me it was just two hours of unrelenting silliness.

It's been touched on by some people, but the animal scenes were painfully hokey. What moved the makers of this movie to think that throwing in Disneyesque anthropomorphic critters was appropriate is beyond me.

The movie was filled with imagery that was supposed to be horrifying, I suppose, but it was so unrealistic and predictable that it just came across as silly.

The movie probably reached its low point in one of the stupidest quick sand scenes (why it's not quick sand is explained to us by Indy with some completely lame dialog) ever to make it into a mainstream movie. Indy and Mario are stuck and Mutt goes off to find something to pull them out. He returns almost instantly with what is obviously a rubber snake to pull them out. Much ridiculous dialog ensues until Indy is finally saved when he grabs hold of the rubber snake and is pulled out. Apparently, this scene was left in because it just wasn't that much sillier than anything else in the movie.

"As I heard later, that day I was one of many thousand Indiana Jones fans who was duped into making Paramount Studios $25 million richer. The worst part is, now they'll think this is the kind of crap we want to see."

#### While I appreciate that everything is a let down when you learn you get older and things change, CHILDREN still do get excited about aliens and such and the number of special effects has completely ruined recent sci-fi. Can you watch a movie like "The Day the Earth Stood Still" or classic Universal movie like "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" and enjoy it? These movies are not made to satisfy your desire for the same characters and the same stories frozen in time by a character who doesnt age. Note the jokes about his age are everywhere in this movie-it hardly tried to pretend Indy was a mid sixties retiree doing the action of a twenty-something. This time the "magic" came from space or some other dimension-why is this somehow less magic?

"Crystal Skull fell through on everything good about the first three Indy's: it had no originality, no good story, and no strange but refreshing lack of alien conspiracies."

#### I see. It lacked an abscence of the same elements that make for a good Indiana Jones movie-all three of the first ones had rehashed stories and conspiracies. Who wants to remove those? Note me. Im there to have fun.

" I have to say, my viewpoint might be different if the movie had been put forth as the typical 1970s Steven Spielberg scifi movie. They could have used Harrison Ford, he could have been a archeaology professor, and my only complaint would have been it was too much like Indiana Jones. But no. Instead, Spielberg took a brilliant trilogy that has always been about magic, religion, and ancient mysticism, and torn it down into a cheesy alien abduction. Oh, yeah, spoiler alert: the crystal skull is the psychic remnants of a member of an alien race that ruled El Dorado. Compare to ark of the covenant, or the magic powers required to pull a beating heart out of a man's chest, or the holy grail. You might, as I did, find it slightly less effective."

#### Except this is Spielbergs characters and situations and Spielberg was a child of the sixties and seventies so one can understand if he still believes in magic of all kinds-that includes psychic powers and aliens. Enjoying this kind of movie involves a little belief in whatever magic is supplied-if you go in with no capacity to suspend disbelief then go see a nice documentary.

"The movie was cliched from the title sequence, too. Well, I just the first ten minutes or so were okay, aside from the introduction of our Soviet villians. Communists? Really? In 2008. I suppose it's no worse than Nazis in the 80s, but...no. And I know, with the timeline, it's correct, but they might as well be Nazis for all it matters what their motivation is."

#### Whoa there! You just griped about the lack of originality yet here we have not just "the communists" but the whole black list issue-a little too much reality maybe-about how good people were blacklisted for being associated with communists-whats wrong with a little factual education? I guess you would have preferred some islamic terrorists who have the nukes instead? Oh yeah, but then how do we Explain Indiana Jones being around at the same time? Time travel? Stop complaining dude-The timeline was held beautifully right down to when aliens were trendy-the fifties.

"Then we again have the classic classroom scene, which would be fine, even nostalgic, if the creativity picked up from there. But it didn't. The dialouge was boring and cliched, the story was boring and cliched, even the action scenes, which are the absolute hallmark of the series, were boring and cliched. They fence on top of cars. Very reminiscent of Pirates of the Caribbean, and I personally prefer the waterwheel scene in that movie. Shia LeBouf swings through the jungle with an army of monkeys. Not just stupid, also very...well, very stupid. Cute, though, which was just what I was looking for in my summer action blockbuster."

#### Well you had two choices-maintain the "possible" side of Indiana Jones which always made it more believable or take it into the complete fantasy world. Star Wars SciFi fans mark the death of "good" Star Wars with the arrival of Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks as the nail in the coffin. Raiders didnt do that-we still drive cars and all other human technology is in its proper place. One trick to a good sci fi is keeping the amount of "magic" limited so it is juxtaposed against reality. That means cars are possible and ferris wheel fights are reaching a bit.

"I'll give a few "spoilers" as examples of how predictable this gets. Mutt (Shia LeBouf) is Indy's son"

### Makes perfect sense. The characters of Indy and Marianne Ravenwood have been in out and love as much a REAL hollywood couple.

" the Soviet menace is destroyed by its lust for knowledge and absolutism"

### And the more American or British character who isnt Indy is destroyed by greed and also leaves a trail of over sized electronic beepers for the soviets to follow-he even explains his actions in a beautifully capatalistic statement where he says it isnt about flags-how mercenary of him! Of course anyone paying attention knew the REAL enemy was this turncoat-yet it was Indy who was accussed of being in league with the Russians. I guess you missed some the key plot line here.

,"and Indy and Marion get married at the end, with cheers from a crowd of familiar faces and Mutt grudingly accepting Indiana as his true father, just in time to don the famous fedora. (Thank God, he doesn't actually put on the hat. That was definitely the most frightening part of the movie, when the music perked up and the cap clung menacingly to his hand.)

## But you're a fan right? Then you may recall that Indy got his cap from a mercenary who stole a gold cross from him when he had a childhood adventure in archeology. The idea of the hat being magic was what I found sad-to this point the story of the hat was of it being worn by adventurers and being passed on in approval and respect by an elder of the profession at an unceremonious but deeply personal time-Indy got it as this even though he lost the cross "you lost today kid but that doesnt mean you have to like it" are the words I remember.

"So, to conclude, history and the "ancient film" students of the future will probably turn out better if we discount Kingdom of the Crystal Skull as an Indiana Jones movie, and pick up at number four with "Indiana Jones and the Untimely Death of Harrison Ford", which I predict will be named such because the legend will drop dead part way through filming.

### Look in the mirror in 10 years. People age. Harrison Ford was already middle aged when he made Star Wars and Indiana Jones first three movies and he did well in all. I believe in movie magic and sfx, but immortality has been one effect they havent managed (ask poor Jack Nicholson about the Joker role-he was pretty upset he didnt get to keep the character as his own). FYI, Captain Kirk was wearing (and still does wear) a hair piece in Star Trek-it has enabled him to keep the role for much longer than most actors have managed to reprise a role. To the credit of this movie's producers, Harrison Ford introduced age as a topic and even took some shots from his son-Indiana Jones has to grow up now-he is a daddy-and he does grow up and slow down a little-but he also makes way for a new generation-one he will no doubt get to support in the occassional cameo as an old man. Smart and sense making.

"Much like I found myself he was going to all throughout this monstrosity."

### Gas was under a dollar when I was growing up. Sure, I would love to pay that little for gas today-but I understand that things change and time marches on. Perhaps the problem with this review is what the FAA would call "pilot error". You keep complaining about the mechanical problems but did nothing to work with them as a fan and a viewer.

As much as I appreciate the time and energy that must have been put into tearing apart my scathing, but somewhat rabid, analysis, I wasn't trying to spark a debate. I just wanted to say: this didn't strike me as an Indiana Jones movie. I love the Indiana Jones movies. This might be the last one with Harrison Ford, and I don't think it's an appropriate end for one of the icons of 20th century film. My major issue with Crystal Skull was the crystal skulls. From Raiders, Henry Jones Junior was an atheist, realist, scientific collage professor, which was brilliantly at odds with his adventurous alter-ego. Indiana Jones always finds himself caught up in religion, which we see he finds suspect. "If you believe in that sort of thing," "just a ghost story, kid," and so forth, but Indy's the first to close his eyes when they open the ark, the one to be hypnotized. And now, interdimensional beings. I don't want aliens in Indiana Jones. I've seen Spielberg's aliens, I've seen them several times. My main other point was that these movies have proved they can be original, this one just chose not to.

I have no problem with the aliens, just like I had no problem with the ark of the covenant or the magical stone in Temple of Doom. I understand this is an Indiana Jones film, as long as it's fun and exciting and it gives you good time, it has done its job. But I understand how other people didnt like it because I didn't like it either.

A lot of the scenes came off flat. Unlike the Last Crusade, where everything seemed to fit perfectly, here it seems the scenes drag on a little longer than it should. The usual explosive intro scene that we were accustomed to lacked the magic of its predecessors. Honestly, I found the first scene quite boring. The only thing that saved it was seeing Indy get up, after being thrown to the ground, and pick up his hat rather annoyingly.

But you didnt get the goose bumps or thrills the usual Indiana Jones film gives you. Some of the lines were corny (like the one in the quick sand), it could have been funnier but I dont know what they could have done. The action scenes were still good but it lacked the excitement of the first films. It didnt make you care. It felt like Spielberg was just going through the motions and trying to get it over with. I agree with cblaugher, this is not the way to end a great franchise.

But, as much as I was disappointed, I think I still liked it. I saw it twice (but the second time was free so what the heck). What can I say, I love Indy. Just seeing him put on that hat again and hearing the music is worth the price of admission.

Indiana Jones has aliens. The up-coming X-Files movie doesn't have aliens.

Isn't there something wrong here?