Re: Prudie adds exclamation mark to Privacy Awareness Week!
by
mermaid33
05/22/2008, 2:45 PM #
its yggy:
I'd like to now turn to the awards part of our program. The following recipients contributed in positive and enduring ways to our discussion on the right of privacy. We did good work here this week, people. Stand up and take a bow!
While I appreciate the honorable mention, I feel you've done us a disservice, sir. I had no idea a competition had ensued. I feel like Al Gore after Florida. I'm out of the foxhunt 'cause I didn't hear the horn. I'm Carrie on prom night. This is so unfair! How was I supposed to know that people would rather have intelligent conversation about civil rights and privacy issues instead of the gopher in my lawn?
Seriously, though, I'd have weighed in but it seems like we've had this privacy discussion over and over. Everybody's entitled to whatever they feel comfortable with and all I know for sure is that if you are not involved with someone who exactly shares your views on privacy, life will be hell for both of you. One person will always think the other too secretive and the other will think the person too invasive.
For the record (like anyone cares): The Reverend and I have been together for 15 years this month. I value my privacy so rabidly that he has called me "Waco" (as in willing to live in an underground bunker for the rest of my life so I can remain undetected by the authorities). We would only go into each other's purse or wallet in an emergency. We do not open each other's mail. I would not, even if I could figure it out, look at his laptop or his cell phone. I covet my personal privacy above most other things and I extend that to those around me.
Now, The Reverend, frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if he checked up on me occasionally, as he has an issue with trust from his previous relationship. I have absolutely no indication of this, however, and he displays a respect for my request for personal privacy so I don't dwell on this possibility. If it makes him feel more secure, that's fine, as long as I don't know about it. If he wants to look through my phone or whatever, fine knock yourself out, but don't let me or anyone else see you disrespecting me that way by displaying lack of trust, please, for someone who's never given you a moment's pause. (Granted, this is easier if you don't have anything that you might need to feel guilty about, which I don't, so I can be cavalier like this.)
Now, if he were to ever dare come to me with something he'd "found" I would probably pull out the old "why do you ask" because unless he could tell me a real good reason why he feels it necessary to grill me about this particular person or phone call or text (a good business reason) then I would have to take his inquiry for what it is - an accusation. And if what he is telling me is that he was snooping for information and is now making an accusation (veiled as an inquiry) then I would not entertain the conversation further.
My feeling on the privacy between us is that, if I suspected I was being cheated on, I wouldn't lower myself to snooping on his cell phone or reading his mail (like anyone writes love letters lol) or even looking at his computer because that involves personal privacy. I would just flat out ask him and if he denied it, I still wouldn't resort to snooping. I wouldn't want to become the kind of person that tries to wait till he's in the shower to look at his phone, to lower myself that way. You never want to obtain your "evidence" by snooping into another person's personal stuff; just look at the reactions here on the board to snoopy cancer girl. Boyfriend's possible transgressions fly right out the window because she found out by snooping on his phone. So you discover, you confront, he denies, you look like a hysterical snoop, you lose.
However, if I felt I was being cheated on I would feel it within my right to inspect more closely the business evidence that a third person might be being involved in my business. I would assume a right to inspect bank statements, credit card statements, etc., to see if any of my money were being spent in a way that violates our agreement. I do not own this man, but I do own my money (well, my half, give or take) ;)
Now, I can see this thread has turned to the topic of what kind of rights of privacy we can expect from our own government, and I will just say that everything y'all is talking about is scaring the hell out of me and I swear I'm going out back with my shovel and commence to bunkering!
Although I did enjoy the part about the thumbs and the Lamborghini.