Now before you get your overalls in a bunch, for my bein’ po-litically incorrect! I just want to remind y’all I ain’t here to ruffle your feathers, so don’t be havin’ no hissy fit, y’ hear. I'll swanee, I’m just here cause, I’m a Jew. A New York Jew at that and I just met me a nice young displaced Southern boy, from good ole’ New O’leans. My Southern boy came up here for a job, and he never left. He just was keepin’ on keepin’ on, you know what I mean? Anyway, we wuz havin’ some trouble communicatin’ here it was like we wuz speakin’ some two different languages.

It was bad enough he didn’t know what khafilah fish was, but he had to go and spit the caviar in the napkin at my cousin’s wedding on Fire Island? Oh vey! Was that a sight, or what? Okay, so I did emit some catfish from my pallet into the potted plant at his niece’s coming out party, but come on! Something’s gotta give here. So while I’m kvetshing about my boyfriend’s cluelessness on the New York vibe and his lack of khutspe in business (hey! He’s a filmmaker! He’s gotta have some khutspe if he’s gonna make it!) his family is treating me like I’m from another planet! Is it my fault they never visited their son the entire seven years he resided on the upper West Side?

To add insult to injury, my family is farklempt about my soon marrying a sheygets! But I love that sheygets and since when did we go to temple anyway? It seems my family only thinks about religion when there’s a wedding, a baby and a death (and even when there’s a death, they don’t think about religion too much, because they simply believe the deceased merely goes to a hole in the ground). So while my boyfriend and I are learning to communicate to one another, we are also mottling through how to deal with the mishpokhe. I can tell my family not to kibitz with my love life and he can tell his family “Stop meddlin’ my affairs!”

I saw the title and was expecting a "walk into a bar..." joke.

Same here. Got damn near through the thing before realizing it was not just an elaborate set up for a joke.

Of course, based on the may MY marriages have turned out, it really MAY just be a really long set up for a joke!

Th Paine:

Same here. Got damn near through the thing before realizing it was not just an elaborate set up for a joke.

Of course, based on the may MY marriages have turned out, it really MAY just be a really long set up for a joke!

Gawd, I mean Gad, I hope not.

Seriously, a good post. Congratulations and best wishes. In spite of the fact that my 2nd marriage (of nearly 30 years) is unwinding at the moment, I am still enough of a romanticist to find it touching when I see or hear about a couple making that sort of commitment to each other. Still not so cynical that I am not already contemplating making that commitment once more myself, with the new love of my life.

Off-topic question: is it normal practice to use English phonetic spelling for the (Germanic) Yiddish (eg "farklempt" for "verklempt", "sh" for "sch")?

No, I was in phonetic mode, I can spell really.... verklempt is the (real) word. Before I get into my story, I want to ask, you have a new love of your life now? If so mazl-tov!

My new beau is the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only do I find him attractive, when I first heard him speak, I melted like butter (sounds corny, I know). I was actually worried about my New Jersey accent with remnants left over from New York and was afraid I'd sound like Fran Dresher to him. But he says he likes my accent. I know... flattery... it has gotten him everywhere with me.

He is from New Orleans so he's a city boy too. At least we have that in common! He and I are both into theatre and the arts, so we have a lot in common. So we're from (in some people's opinions) from opposite ends of the earth, so what? Some jealous people see our relationship as "forced". We'll see how forced it is. In the meantime, we're happy.

Th Paine:

Off-topic question: is it normal practice to use English phonetic spelling for the (Germanic) Yiddish (eg "farklempt" for "verklempt", "sh" for "sch")?

Technically it is a no-no, but this is the internet. If you can say ROFL you can pretty much get away with anything. Yiddish doesn't really have any rules to speak of anyway... other than never calling your mother in law a schmuck. She may have a schmuck or two - probably pickled in a jar of formaldehyde - but she cannot be a schmuck, no matter what the women's movement would have you believe.

Graylodge:

Th Paine:

Off-topic question: is it normal practice to use English phonetic spelling for the (Germanic) Yiddish (eg "farklempt" for "verklempt", "sh" for "sch")?

Technically it is a no-no, but this is the internet. If you can say ROFL you can pretty much get away with anything. Yiddish doesn't really have any rules to speak of anyway... other than never calling your mother in law a schmuck. She may have a schmuck or two - probably pickled in a jar of formaldehyde - but she cannot be a schmuck, no matter what the women's movement would have you believe.

Hee hee! You're right Graylodge about yiddish not having any rules. If I marry my guy, I just might call my mother in law a schmuck! She didn't exactly treat my boyfriend like a real son.

The women's movement seemed to have blurred a lot of nouns, facts and guidelines. Not that I'm against the paid intern in (what was it, letter # 3 ?) getting the same pay as the man. But some of these issues go a little too far. I think men are great in general (some of my best friends are male and I wouldn't trade my boyfriend, brothers or my dad in for the world).