Why, oh WHY did this have to happen NOW? How about six months from now, after the election was over?

I really worry that this is the best present the Republicans can get for the national election--a nice, big, fat wedge issue! WOOHOO!!!!

And I feel it will do nothing but mobilize the anti-gay marriage groups for the ballot initiative in California this fall. They will likely have lots more people get out to the polls because now their worst fears have been realized--out-of-touch, 'activist' judges (most of whom seem to be appointed by Republicans, but never mind that, I suppose) are loosing the gates of hell on the innocent people of California!

Some of those gay marriages might even be to illegal immigrants!

I hope the groups in California who brought this thru the courts know what they are doing...b/c *I* for one am seriously worried! :(((((

Carolle

Yeah, I hate this issue. Forgive me, but I do.

yea, let them marry, why should they be the only ones protected from the horrors of marriage?...

but then i wonder, whose is the one to get fucked over by the court system like the hetero males are now?

OIC, I think you are likely just being funny, but I will answer you seriously!

*Some* of us still believe in long-term commitment/marriage and want to participate in it!

I feel that the problems are often more related to the people involved (only one of which who may provide most of the problems, I know!) than to the institution of marriage or otherwise entangling yourself legally with someone you want to share your life with, forever.

Carolle, a committed romantic :)

Sugar,

I don't understand what you mean? You hate hearing about it?

Carolle :)

I was agreeing with you, Carolle. I sympathize with gays who want to get married, but I hate it when this issue comes up in elections because it inevitably brings out the dregs of the electorate (I call them the "cooties" vote).

OIC,

Oh, well, I see that you *weren't* being funny!

Kind of odd, I grew up with a single mother who got much less than half of the family assets when she divorced my poor innocent hetero male father (who made many times what she did), and no alimony or child support.

I guess this was just a rare, isolated case in the vast wave of female oppression and domination of men who are stupid enough to marry and impregnate them? I wish you guys all the best in your battle against the vicious blood-sucking women in your lives!

Sorry for being sarcastic, but even besides my personal history, I have heard and witnessed as many bitter ex-wives who feel they got screwed as ex-husbands who feel they did. Maybe you have gone through a divorce where you got a raw deal, or some of your buddies have. However, how many guys have you heard brag about 'screwing the little bitch'? 'Cause I definitely hear that (definitely heard it from my father).

Really, I wonder, can there ever be winners when a marriage falls apart?

Honestly, if my partner and I ever split up (which I hope *never* happens!), I want to be very gernous with her and take care of her, because I make much more money than her, and have more resources for the future. She has been with me and loved me and supported me for a long time, and I feel that she deserves that, no matter what else happens.

Sincerely,

Carolle

Sugar,

Sorry I misunderstood you! :)

I personally am not much of an activist, I prefer to not trigger a big response! But I guess that approach takes *much* longer to make any change, if it ever does! I am so glad that braver ppl than I am are out there working for social justice!

Thanks for the reply to my post!

Carolle :)

don't assume i got taken by some female because i see a court system unfairly bias towards females..this is just a fact, that you don't, is your perspective, as is mine, however, my points are real, divorce is at 54%, 78% of the time it is initiated by the female, 84% of the time the female ends up with the lion share of proceeds, you don't see too many males making millions by divorcing their spouses, you see a lot more females taking the money and running after 2-3 years of living in luxury..marriage is a bad contract for males..until the system is updated, it will remain a bad decision..if you knew when you went out this morning, you stood a 54% chance of losing everything you worked for including your pension, you would stay home..{and no, my ex and i are still friends 20 years later and we both were satisifed with the divorce} no one got over on anyone, nor did we want to. that is NOT the norm NOW..i wish you the best..but, the odds are against you...

So why do guys get taken by the golddiggers? And why is it that the men have the biggest assets and incomes?

I *am* very glad that your divorce was amiable! You and your ex-wife must be mature, fair people!

I don't understand how "the odds are against me"? Odds for what? Or do you mean for guys?

Maybe more prenups would be the way to go? I would sign one if I loved the person I was marrying and it made her feel more comfortable, with the idea that she would never need it anyway, b/c we would stay together.

Carolle :)

the odds are 54% that you WILL be divorced..thats why the odds are against you,,and perhaps you will indeed be in the MINORITY of the equation, but thats does not change the math....and you would have to ask the idiots who marry the goldiggers..i dont know.

OIC, your statistics don't hold much water unless you correct for child custody. Naturally the court is going to award more of the couple's resources to the spouse who ends up with custody of the children, since that's the person who's going to bear most of the expense of raising them.

Hi Carolle:

Just thought I'd chime in and say I chuckled when I read that you would be generous in the event you and your sweetie separate. I think that truly depends on WHY you were separating doesn't it?

What, exactly, do you mean by marriage? Is the state of California going to allow civil unions? Are they going to be officially called marriage?

Really, aren't there two parts to a union, the legal and religious? I absolutely think gay couples should have all the legal rights of heterosexual couples. I'm an atheist and generally disdain religion, but I do feel the religious nuts have a point regarding the religious aspects of marriage.

What, do you think, is the solution?

Dausuul

Would you agree that the courts might award primary custody to women more than they should?

Really, the mother has to be pretty much be Britney Spears to lose custody. This is why, on a percentage basis, there are more deadbeat moms than dads. The moms who don't get custody are, by definition, so screwed up or they would have been awarded custody.