At our house we solved these kinds of problem with a simple rule: If the child couldn't behave appropriately at the event he could no longer attend the event.

The first time the child boils over take him home immediately. Explain the rule.

If he repeats the behavior cancel his participation and explain to him that he can try it again next season.

This teaches the child that his behaviors have consequences and that sometimes we all have to wait to get something we want. When he goes back next season and is able to behave appropriately it demonstrates to him that he has changed and he can change and he can control things in his life.

Just as important, it teaches the parents not to put the child into situations that are beyond him and not to over schedule the child. It also prevents focusing, obsessing and weird over-thinking about the child's weaknesses. Just drop it and do something the kid can handle!

Another benefit of this approach is that it prevents the other kids from labeling your kid as "the weird purple kid who freaks out." It also prevents the other parents from thinking of you as "that poor mom who doesn't have a clue."

Unfortunately, the last thing on earth these unfit helecopter mommies writing for this site are going to do is teach their children personal responsibility. It would make them grow up to be productive adults, and we can't have that.

Peggyo is absolutely right here.

Also these are not panic attacks at all. What you have described is a tantrum.

I'm surprised that you can't see that this sort of tantrum is about the difficulty for a little guy about the transition from school to the soccer game and he and you can blame it on the lack of a snack. He'll get a grip and get used to it. Of course you should be supportive about this whole emotional thing, but really.. don't scramble and wait on him when he's freaking out and throwing a fit.

I was a teacher and have 2 slightly older children of my own. I'm with the thinking that if kids are throwing fits, no matter what the reason, they should be removed from the situation without coddling until they can get it together.

Now that my kids are older (7 and 10) and we've seen Supernanny together, the kids can see how giving into fits and tantrums makes problems worse and not better and they totally get it.

This is a great idea. He shouldn't go out in public if he's going to be a quivering screaming brat. However, that's not an option for Bazelon. She's using the other parents as unfunded daycare - she probably doesn't have the option of withholding these trips from him because then where would she put the little demon?

I think the *other* parents need to stop being so damn polite and accomodating and impose this solution themselves. Presumably she doesn't drop him off in a vacant lot - she hands him off to someone. That someone needs to sack up and tell Bazelon that he/she is not accepting responsibility for the child. That as far as he/she is concerned, Bazelon is abandoning him.

I so totally agree with this advice. Parents need to stand up to their children and not give into every tantrum. My son wanted to watch Thomas the Tank Engine last night while we were eating dinner. He's 2 and I told him no, we were eating. He threw a fit. We let him scream it out on the floor while we continued eating. After he didn't get a reaction out of us, or that we went running to turn on the tv, he stopped and sat down and ate dinner. Kids need to learn that the world does not revolve around them when they are small. At 5, they should no how to do simple tasks, like looking for a snack. There are much bigger issues going on here. He obviously has never been told NO!