Dear Republican in the Closet,

Grow a set of tits, girl. First of all, politely ask your family to stop bad-mouthing your boyfriend behind your back. Secondly, attempt to engage them in a polite conversation (backed up with facts) about why you believe what you do and why they believe what you do. Chances are, this won't change anything. If that's the case, all you can do is grit your teeth and bare it until you leave home. You have, however, learned two important lessons. The first is that empty, name-calling political conversation is annoying and pointless. The second is that there is a reason politics is often a taboo topic in polite company! Good luck with it.

PhysicsGirl

Dear Jealous Fiancee,

Your emotions are what they are. I think now is a good time to sit down with your fiance and discuss boundry issues. Normally I would say, "Don't worry about the dying woman", except that if your fiance is in the habit of counseling people with cancer it may be that's how he finds his "other" women. I don't know. A dying woman may also feel that she has nothing to lose by hitting on someone else's fiance. When you have this conversation, attempt to do so in a non-judgemental way.

The reality is that ithis comes down to trust. Do you trust him? Or do you think that the only way he is going to be faithful is if he has no contact with people who are not interested in him?

PhysicsGirl

Dear Women's Rights,

This is an issue near and dear to my heart. However, the fact that you are a woman and you are getting paid less than your fellow intern who is a man doesn't automatically mean there is sexism at play. Perhaps he negotiated a better salary. Perhaps he has some abilities that you don't have. But I do know that you'll be out of a job if you head over to HR and say, "Hey you sexist bastards, I deserve equal pay!" He may be out of a job too.... I would suggest that you try to negotiate a higher salary. Take a critical look at your job skills, job title and the going rate for people with your talents in your area. Then negotiate based on that alone, not based on what you know of your fellow intern's salary. If you steal feel discriminated against, look for a new job.

Women won't achieve equality if we negotiate in a, "You should pay me the same because sexism is evil and wrong." manner. We'll chieve equality by negotiating in a, "I have valuable skills and I know their worth on the market. Pay me what I'm worth or I'll take my skills elsewhere" sort of manner. If we keep making gender an issue, it will continue to be an issue.

PhyiscsGirl

Dear Almost an Alum,

You certainly have the right to determine the future of your old clothes, but is it really worth a four year friendship to give everything to a shelter? If your friend is still in college, she probably doesn't have a lot of money so it would directly benefit a woman in need. I really don't understand why you find this so wrong if you guys have been sharing clothes all along. She may have assumed that since this is how you've always operated, that you would continue to do so. Personally, I would let her pick through your clothes and then give the remainder to the shelter.

PhysicsGirl

Interesting typo, lol.

If you steal feel discriminated against, look for a new job.

LOL! Postively Freudian. I suppose that is what I get for "righting" a post while participating in a phone conference.

I really hate 7 am phone conferences. *sigh*

And I really do need my sleep. I've noticed another blatant typo in my post. Oh well.

The problem is trying to come up with a good time for the West Coast, East Coast, China and India to all meet. It's impossible for it to not suck for someone.

The saddest part is that I have yet another phone meeting tomorrow at 7 am.

in my dumbheaded way, i would aver that she probably doesn't. neither does the male intern she's carping about.

they're both unskilled wanna-bes, and probably not producing anything which goes to the company's bottom line.

they should feel privileged (or ashamed?) to be taking a job away from someone who has real skills and kids to support, maybe?

none of this explains or assuages the situation where the guy is being paid $1 more an hour.

"life is unfair" (jimmy carter)

that's why oprah is worth a gazillion dollars - more than any other TV star, and why katie couric is a "news anchor" although she spent zero time as a reporter.

baltimore aureole:

in my dumbheaded way, i would aver that she probably doesn't. neither does the male intern she's carping about.

Why? Because they're interns? It really depends. I know that engineering and science interns tend to be quite skilled. They're usually a bit wet behind the ears when it comes to real world applications, but many companies jump at the chance to get a good engineering intern.

However, that's not particularly relevant. Maybe all they can do is make coffee and the company has hired them as part of a "make nice with the local community" type initiative.

baltimore aureole:

they should feel privileged (or ashamed?) to be taking a job away from someone who has real skills and kids to support, maybe?

How are they taking a job away from someone else? It sounds like you're implying that those of us who do not have kids shouldn't take jobs because we may be taking employment away from a person with children.

I don't think any company is going to hire an unskilled intern in place of a skilled employee for a key position given a choice.

baltimore aureole:

none of this explains or assuages the situation where the guy is being paid $1 more an hour.

Well, we really have no idea why (and if) he's getting paid more. Maybe he has mad autocad skills. Maybe he's interned there before and they like him. Maybe he said, "I want to be paid $X+1" instead of meekly accepting $X. Life certainly is unfair, but that doesn't mean we should attribute everything that appears to go wrong to the unfairness of life.

PhysicsGirl:

Well, we really have no idea why (and if) he's getting paid more. Maybe he has mad autocad skills. Maybe he's interned there before and they like him. Maybe he said, "I want to be paid $X+1" instead of meekly accepting $X. Life certainly is unfair, but that doesn't mean we should attribute everything that appears to go wrong to the unfairness of life.

Usually when an intern is hired, it's to do lower lever, short term support work that the company didn't want to hire a contractor for. Possibly they are even considering hiring in the foreseeable future, and would rather train someone the company's ways of doing things, than hire someone who will spend 20 years (or however long they last) moaning, "When I was with Almagamated Fruit Tooters ..."

I know I've heard enough "old company" stories from people to last a couple of lifetimes. I try very hard never to mention my old companies, unless it really, truly contributes to what we are trying to do. Even then, I have to consider if it violates any trade secrets or is otherwise professionally unethical.

maybe things have changed, but i used to think that:

• being an intern is an extended job interview for a permanent position. they evaluate how well you get along with the REAL workers, and if you're dumb as a stone or not.
• contractors are hired to do short term work the company doesn't want to hire permanent people for.
• permanent people are converted contractors, or converted interns, or high level executives served up by search firms to fill an unexpected vacancy in the top ranks.

i've never been at a company where an intern did anything important