During discussion re: the wearing of the hijab, it was mentioned that sometimes the excuse for religious dress is to encourage "modesty and piety" in the faith's adherents. Somehow, part of the discussion became about things that attract us as human beings to one another and how much we actually try and attract other human beings.

So, I'm curious how many people dress, do their hair, etc... for the opposite sex vs. for themselves or for some other purpose.

I'm also curious how important people think that looks are to attracting the opposite sex (I know human nature has an article describing that good looks=good genes, hence the attraction) AND whether they honestly think that looking bad or hiding one's looks (by virtue of hijab, burkha, long skirts, etc...) protects one from sexual improprieties that certain faiths consider "bad" or "sinful".

Personally, I always thought that the religious aspects of such clothing strictures were just excuses to control women more and affirm their lesser status in society.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

why did you give yourself a negative?

So, I'm curious how many people dress, do their hair, etc... for the opposite sex vs. for themselves or for some other purpose.

I dress mainly for comfort, I only care how I look to hubby. I don't even attempt to dress nice at work, I run printers & copiers, so I buy all work clothes from the thirftstore, actually I buy about 99% of my clothes there.

I agree with your statement:

Personally, I always thought that the religious aspects of such clothing strictures were just excuses to control women more and affirm their lesser status in society.

wow. how can you tell that i gave that to myself? what can i say? i have self-esteem issues! ;)

happyatheist and i were going back and forth and she asserted that most women dress to attract men and i disagreed. well, not on the numbers. there's no way i could know what MOST people do. but i think that a substantial number of women DON'T do that....

i don't have a significant other at the moment, but i, too, care about attracting a specific someone- not men in general.

in the main topic page, click on the -1 & it will show who rated it.

Quick answers

1. Looks matter....anybody saying different is not being honest. Even if you're attracted to "odd looks"...it's still looks.

2. Good looks and good genes not analogous. The Royals of Europe were some attractive people...and they had hemophilia.

3. Except for the Amish, most dress restrictions...are usually aimed at women, imposed by men. nuff said

happyatheist and i were going back and forth and she asserted that most women dress to attract men and i disagreed. well, not on the numbers. there's no way i could know what MOST people do. but i think that a substantial number of women DON'T do that....

My personal, subjective, observation is that women tend to dress more to impress other women than to attract men -- not that the attracting men is not a factor. Probably less true for younger women (say college age). I suppose that might reflect the fact that the younger women are more likely to be actively trying to attract men.

I could be wrong -- I usually am when it comes to women.

Reptilicus:

Quick answers

1. Looks matter....anybody saying different is not being honest. Even if you're attracted to "odd looks"...it's still looks.

I am being honest, when I say I don't care how I look to others. if I am comfortable & hubby thinks I look hot, that is good enough for me.

I agree with Reptilicus.

Once you actually get to know someone, looks may matter less, or even little at all, but one often never gets to that point if there was not an aesthetic appeal to start. And good point about "odd looks." It is not necessarily the "classic" beauty that everyone is most attracted to.

Good looks are not analogous with good genes, but they may have some correlation -- also with good health in general. Probably not an accident that traditional notions of female attractiveness correlate to suitability for successful fertility and childbirth.

Not so sure that the Royals of Europe were/all that attractive -- some look pretty fugly to my eyes.

"...but one often never gets to that point if there was not an aesthetic appeal to start."

Well, I don't know about that. There's a few people lurking around here, who I have absolutely no idea what they look like who I would sleep with just because I like their online persona here...not gonna say who, but, there's a few! ;) (Might not want to spend the rest of my life with them, but a roll in the hay would be perfectly doable!)

Conversely, there's a few who I wouldn't sleep with if you paid me a million dollars and they looked like Mel Gibson (*swoon* - yeah, I know he's crazy, but he's still nice to look at!). Again, not gonna say who, but I should think that list would be pretty dang obvious!

evolution's little gifts, we are hardwired that way, but as with most behaviors, people tend fall on a bell shaped curve as to how they react towards other's appearance.

Yeah, that is the point -- if you have the chance to get to know someone where a physical attraction was not a factor, then you bypass that.

The same can be true of someone you know through work, mutual friends, involvement in other organizations, etc.

And in those cases, I have always ended up thinking she was attractive, even if that was not my initial impression.

happyatheist:

There's a few people lurking around here, who I have absolutely no idea what they look like who I would sleep with just because I like their online persona here...not gonna say who, but, there's a few! ;) (Might not want to spend the rest of my life with them, but a roll in the hay would be perfectly doable!)

As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I'm happily married!!

(How's that for ego?)

Hell, as far as that goes, personality wise I'd probably sleep with the 'hound, and I'm not even gay...(at least not much...lol...)

Oh, you're quite welcome!

I'd sleep with thelyamhound too even if I was gay! (Although he'd be one of the ones I figure I wouldn't be able to spend the rest of my life with...all that metaphysical crap...I'd have to kill him after a few weeks of that...or maybe just a couple hours! ;))

dumb_blonde:

Reptilicus:

Quick answers

1. Looks matter....anybody saying different is not being honest. Even if you're attracted to "odd looks"...it's still looks.

I am being honest, when I say I don't care how I look to others. if I am comfortable & hubby thinks I look hot, that is good enough for me.

Well, db....if you DO care about your hsuband thinking you're hot...you DO care about looks....right?

Yeah, but there are some people who wouldn't be attracted to someone they met that way once they did get a look at them. There was something on one of those advice columns recently about this couple that met online and really hit it off but when they met, the guy was like, look me up again when you lose some weight...(jerk!)