My fiance wants to interview my "X" before marriage, and I am not comfortable with it, since I am not in talking terms with my "X". But, fiance will not marry until her demand has been fullfulled. I have two kids with my "X"

Should I let my fiance go

or

let my self loose

Aj

Duh.

Her demand is obnoxious...besides, if she had a brain in her head, she'd have already spoken to your ex without you being the wiser.

Don't be a chump.

time to also have an "X"-fiance.

Well, it seems that your fiance is a bit overbearing and it seems like you yurself can't handle it. From what I can see your relationship won't last long with the way you both are. She has a strange sense of needing to "know" and you aren't serious and don't have enough feelings for her. The answer is already there, if you felt a deep connection to her you would have just asked what can I do but instead you thought of it as a decision of let her go or give in. I don't mean to open old wounds or anything but it seems if you had a problem in your last marriage what makes you think the new marriage will last with those reckless feelings.

What does your fiance want to talk about with your ex-wife?

Considering that you have 2 children who will, I presume, be spending time living with you both after marriage and for whom she will be a stepmother, I don't think it's a bad idea for the two women to get together and talk about expectations in terms of the kids. Although, I would assume you would be part of that conversation as well....

Perhaps you've given her a red flag and she wants to run it by the ex?

Or perhaps she's a control freak.

So um, why do you think your fiancee wants to talk to her, and why the hell does she need your permission to do so?

You, your ex, and your fiancee should ALL be on talking terms. If this is impossible, then you all need a neutral third party to help you figure out where to meet to drop off the kids w/each other, resolve child rearing issues and ensure good parenting in both houses.

Unless of course you are doing something wrong to your ex and your children that you want to hide from your fiancee.

Ajk:

Should I let my fiance go or let my self loose

What's the difference? Either way, it sounds like you are ready to be free?

If you have kids with your ex, you need to be on speaking terms. What if one of the kids is hospitalized? Wouldn't you want her to feel comfortable letting you know? Perhaps your fiance is just worried that maybe you are as innocent in the break-up as you claim. Your refusal probably cements that in your mind.

You've already proven once you couldn't handle a relationship. Maybe you weren't mainly at fault, but then you picked poorly. Not talking to your ex is a second strike. Maybe you should let the fiance go, and fix your problems before you make another commitment you have trouble keeping.

wanting to talk to the mother of your children before marrying you is hardly an unreasonable demand, especially since she'd presumably be involved in raising these children.

but yeah, the fact that you aren't on speaking terms with your ex-wife is a big red flag. maybe you should just focus on being a better parent before you jump into another marriage.