...last weekend he invited me to a movie.

And I began to wonder, does she ever invite him on a date ? If it were her party or BBQ or movie wouldn't she be in a better position to jury rig the quest lists.? The better women I knew in my dating days were rather quick to start doing the invitations.

She needs to invite him to dinner at her house or a nice restaurant. Then if he shows up with five other people in tow......

Isn't also a bit strange that there is a group of thirty somethings all hanging out without significant others? Yeah - you guys are high school buddies - isn't time to move away from the "not getting any" table? Kinda weird that none of her bf's friends have SO...

Oh come on now! Certainly you know thirty-somethings are supposed to take thier social cues from hollweird so the precedence has been set by "Freinds".

Sixth needs to shift her paradigm accordingly. /sarcasm

Actually, in reality it is a double edged sword. She has to give him some slack for his friends but he needs to be attentive to her in a special alone way too. I certaily hope for her sake he doesn't invite them all into bed with her. Orgies tend to make ones toes uncovered and cold.

Yeah - this one time i went to an orgy and this chick left her socks on. White socks at that - wtf. What happened to manners and decency... :p

Seems like everyone's missing the main point here...this guy clearly values his time with her (even if it's not solo) and sees a real relationship by bringing her into his inner circle. Nobody wants iffy prospects doing any serious bonding with his/her friends. He's trying to make her a big part of his life and she should feel pretty good about that. She does like the buddies, and they are nice to her. Best bet is for her to start planning stuff, maybe during the week if possible since I would guess more social stuff is planned on the weekends, for just the two of them. Or say, "let's do dinner just the two fo us and meet the group after" or something like that, splitting the night. Trying to cut out the friends is going to make her seem needy and difficult.

I agree with you. Prudence's response is so 50's. Friends are more like family nowadays because they are your babysitters (parents work), therapists (can't tell mom and dad about the bondage stuff), voice of reason (majority rules), and they tend to notice alot of things you miss like ohhh shiny new car...uhhhh huge monthly payments..... or the (do you realize everytime you open your wallet your guy/girl looks at credit cards?) If the chick already wants to seperate her new half from his friends, she is already showing signs of insecurity "read...wielding being with her as a weapon", and wanting him all to herself (read..so he gets of seeing and hearing about you you you and stops talking and has no identity other than the one she creates in her perfect relationship world mind....EVER). What's up with her friends? Does she even have any or is she the loner one good friend type? She is already plotting how to change his personality by alienating him from his friends by seeking advice on what to do. When things hit a rough patch is she going to want to try and be friends the same people she wanted to see less of to find out how to mend the relationship? The fact that she was let into his inner circle should have show her that he really wants her to be a part of his life and the things and people he cares about. The fact that his friends have collectively gone out with her as a group more than once shows that they accept her. Now she has the "great guy who she likes" and she wants to change him
(yes change him by changing his environment and those things that give him comfort like his friends).....Gwesh women.....

I thought prudie's advice was way out of line on this one.... if you desperately need more alone time with your boyfriend, then just invite him to do something one-on-one. do *not* tell him you want to spend less time with his friends, because 1) yes, that does sound clingy and needy and 2) the friends will almost certainly find out about it, which will make them no longer like you and 3) this early in the relationship, there's a good chance he'll choose his friends over you, and end it.

in the end, if you try to come between a guy and his closest friends, he'll think you're manipulative and clingy. probably because you are. so yeah, might want to work on that.

More jumping to conclusions about the LW! She didn't say that she wanted him to stop spending time with his friends, or that she wanted him all to herself, only that she wanted some time to be alone with him.

I agree with others that she should initiate some time alone with him without bringing up his friends. However, how can he know that she belongs in his inner circle if they haven't had one on one time for private conversation? I knew an ex-boyfriend as part of a group of friends for a long time. Imagine my surprise when he turned out to be a completely different person away from the group. It's important to know a person in all types of situation, not just the situation where you're most comfortable.

Lexx:

If the chick already wants to seperate her new half from his friends, she is already showing signs of insecurity "read...wielding being with her as a weapon", and wanting him all to herself (read..so he gets of seeing and hearing about you you you and stops talking and has no identity other than the one she creates in her perfect relationship world mind....EVER). What's up with her friends? Does she even have any or is she the loner one good friend type? She is already plotting how to change his personality by alienating him from his friends by seeking advice on what to do. When things hit a rough patch is she going to want to try and be friends the same people she wanted to see less of to find out how to mend the relationship? The fact that she was let into his inner circle should have show her that he really wants her to be a part of his life and the things and people he cares about. The fact that his friends have collectively gone out with her as a group more than once shows that they accept her. Now she has the "great guy who she likes" and she wants to change him
(yes change him by changing his environment and those things that give him comfort like his friends).....Gwesh women.....

Dude - he's in his thirties. He isn't in high school. Asking your boyfriend for exclusive time isn't trying to change him, it's asking him to be your boyfriend. That's sort of part of the deal, at least, once you are an adult. She wasn't even asking him to not see his friends, she just wanted to go out with just him occasionally. If a man needs his friends around all the time - who is really the insecure one?