Michelle Tsai's online article regarding online karaoke hit a tender spot with this writer. A few years ago, whilst living in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, I used to frequent a bar called the Border Crossing with spouse and friends for their karaoke sessions. Mostly country music with a smattering of old time rock'n'roll these evenings were loose and easily adjusted to, the host being easy-going a accepting of most efforts, even encouraging those less talented with promises of great things if improvement was seen over the weeks. There was adulation from the crowd, and one could easily see how the Joe Walsh album title "The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Get" was arrived at because after three or four "smokes" one thought of oneself as a budding Garth Brooks or Reba MacIntire (hope that's right, memory fades over time) in the case of the ladies, and the crowd seemed to be more receptive to the efforts regardless of how flimsy or schoolgirlish the songs came out. Then there were those that were not so well endowed with the ability to perform before a crowd, a little problem called "Public Speaking" reared its' ugly head.
Public Speaking is not a little problem, my research has led me to the knowledge that one of the greatest fears that modern executives face is Public Speaking! There is a cure for those fears waiting in every karaoke bar from Anchorage to Zanzibar and points in between. Okay, at first I thought the word "Karaoke" was Japanese for "White man gets drunk and makes public fool of himself", not so anymore. Not now I know the hidden power that karaoke actually holds!
Karaoke, through my personal influence, helped a friend of mine into a better paying job, an improved personal relationship leading to a happy marriage and an improved sense of self-esteem and greatly improved his self-confidence. "Jim" had seen me performing karaoke at the Border Crossing and had been there, quietly in the background, watching as I tried new songs, failed and with my usual flippant attitude, getting right back behind the microphone and continuing. Quite like riding a horse, one will never learn if one lets the first fall destroy all following effort. I hung in there and learned to hear myself above the noise druken din of the crowd and learned to ignore the jeers and acknowledge the cheers, eventually finding a niche and being a better-than-average karaoke performer. Something about Carnegie Hall and the words "practice, practice, practice" kept echoing in my mind around that time, and it seems to me that the message actually got through. "Jim" approached me, telling me that he respected me for being able to do what I had done, telling me that in my own way I had become one of his heroes. Thanking "Jim" I informed him casually that he could follow in my steps if he wanted. "Jim" wished he could, he said, he just didn't have the guts to put himself out there like i obviously did, I pooh-poohed his comments and told him to put his name down for a song and that if he wanted I would accompany him onto the stage area and sing alongside (this was often done with 'karaoke virgins') until he gained enough confidence to go it alone.
The first session was something of a disaster, "Jim's" voice was keyed wrong, crackling, and due to what I can only assume was abject terror, kept failing him. Then there was something called "microphone etiquette" he needed to learn very quickly if he was going to be any kind of vocalist. Due to a photographic effect called foreshortening, where distance between objects is collapsed due to using a telephoto lens, a lot of performers appear to be eating the microphone when performing. As any good performer knows, there is a distance between microphone and mouth and one must project the voice to reach the microphone, otherwise all that's heard is a mumblyjumbly noise. Another secret to public performances is not to look at the audience, to look slightly above the audience to a spot on the back wall of wherever the performance is, most people are egocentric enough to think when the eyes are trained in their direction it is them that is being looked at; consider the story of the man sitting at the bar and the woman looking in his direction frequently with a quizzical expression on her face, when he approaches her to ask why the looks and the frowns she replies she is waiting for her boyfriend who is inexplicably late and that the clock in the bar is on the wall behind him. Eventually "Jim" learned thses little things and it gave him more confidence, and the last time I saw him he was doing just fine, his wife was pregnant with their first child and he had a job in Management instructing new recruits to the firm he worked for and he was excelling in all facets of his life. My influence, yes, somewhat, karaoke's influence, you bet your bottom dollar, if you know anyone with a fear of public speaking, or someone that "wouldn't do karaoke for quids", watch out, that may be the lion you need to show the tall grass to, and when you do, you will know the satisfaction helping another person can give. Fear of public speaking, let me help you, my first piece of advice is find a karaoke bar.........
