For all you women who are in committed relationships and have those girls' nights out where you flirt and dance outrageously with strange men, I've got questions:

How would your SO feel if they walked into the same bar and saw your behavior? Or how would you feel if you walked into a bar and saw your SO engaged in the very same behavior? What if you (or the SO) heard about such behavior through others?

See, my husband and I have a rule: Never do or say anything that would hurt the other or you would not want to catch them doing. Ergo, when I go out with the girls, I do NOT flirt with strange men much less accept drinks from them or dance with them. I'm not there to hang out with strange men, I'm there to play with my girls.:) I refuse to debase myself, my husband, my family, or my marriage by behaving like common trailer trash. I'm better than that, and my husband deserves a wife that comports herself as a lady at all times. I will not have him looking the fool in anyone's eyes.

I have no problems with my husband flirting and dancing with other men.

In all seriousness, I would have no problem with my husband going to a bar and flirting with strange girls. He's married, not dead. Sometimes having the admiration of a stranger can be a good pick-me-up. I trust him to respect the boundries we've placed on our relationship.

Casual flirting is fine, yes. But I'm talking about rubbing all over someone else, as one does when "dirty dancing". Or talking overtly about having sex, and the possibility of that person having a chance at sex with you.

There's flirting, then there's FLIRTING. Does that make sense?

Who here said they did that?

You seem very angry about something.

In a thread a bit further down, someone nic'ed Frek made a comment about going out with the girls, getting blasted drunk, and dancing/flirting outrageously with strange men.

Not angry at all, just perplexed. I actually see this behavior all the time and it's embarrassing. While there's nothing wrong with attached people going out without their SO and having a good time, there's a line one should not cross, imo. I'm just not one to embarrass my husband in such a manner. I'll do it other ways, like asking our friends point-blank potentially embarrassing questions.:)

I tell hubby I can't take him anywhere without him flirting with all the women. Usually, I say this in front of the women old enough to be his mother, or at least old enough to be my mother. It's okay, though, since I flirt (casually) as well. I had to cut back, though. The majority of men don't seem to understand casual flirting, even if my husband is standing right there. Most women seem to understand his flirting isn't serious.

But no, neither of us acts like we really want it from the other people we are flirting with. That would be, to me at least, kind of gross. For the rubbing, etc. kind of flirting, people just need to get a room.

that's why I dig all your bits and bytes. Sheesh, don't be stranger!

Hope things are good. I have to grab nap so I can go clubbing later (kidding) :)

PugglePop:

I actually see this behavior all the time and it's embarrassing.

Why do you find other people's behavior embarassing?

PugglePop:

While there's nothing wrong with attached people going out without their SO and having a good time, there's a line one should not cross, imo.

That line is different for every relationship. One couple may draw that line someplace that another couple would feel is in an uncomfortable place. This is why it is important that every single couple discuss what they feel cheating is.

Hey, Ygs! I lurk from time to time, but I found another place to spend most of my play time.:)

PugglePop:

In a thread a bit further down, someone nic'ed Frek made a comment about going out with the girls, getting blasted drunk, and dancing/flirting outrageously with strange men.

I find that to be very disrespectful to hubby & my marriage vows.

& it could be a dangerous situtation. Alot of men don't know the difference between casual flirting & looking for action, especially if all involved have had a few drinks. How easy for the guy to get mixed signals & then try something. & what's stopping one of those guys from slipping a date drug in her drink, or following her out to the parking lot to rape, because "she asked for it"

PhysicsGirl:

Why do you find other people's behavior embarassing?

I imagine you have witnessed someone behaving or speaking in such a manner that you were embarrassed for them. Try to be a bit less obtuse and argumentative and try to grasp the actual message being conveyed, yeah.

I dunno, I guess I can't imagine wasting time on my night out, watching other women and being outraged by their flirting and dancing because they might be married or in a committed relationship.

because the poster IT is talking about said this:

My friends and I enjoy getting dolled up for the bar, getting whistles and promises of "special attention" from our guys, and having some time off. We flip a coin/draw straws/bribe someone to be the DD, go to the pub, flirt with inappropriate people, drink our faces off, dance the night away, and come home safely to sleeping men and children smeared with pizza grease.

They aren't hard to spot as they are generally the drunken idiot who stumbles into everyone, scratching them with their honking rock, and spilling drinks.

And it's not that I'm outraged persay, I just find the behavior disrespectful. I was merely trying to ask if those women who engage in such behavior would feel fine if their husband should see them or if they should see their husbands acting in kind. I'm willing to bet the husbands would be none too pleased, nor would they like to see the husband in such a position.

dumb_blonde:

How easy for the guy to get mixed signals & then try something.

Which is why you go out with friends and never leave the bar with someone. A drunk, horny guy isn't going to rape you on the bar floor.

dumb_blonde:

& what's stopping one of those guys from slipping a date drug in her drink,

The men who do this don't do so in retaliation. They come to a bar with this intention in mind. This is a good reason to both never go out to the bar alone AND be very careful with your drink.

dumb_blonde:

or following her out to the parking lot to rape, because "she asked for it"

What's to stop a guy at the nice restaurant you went to with your friends from following you out into the parking lot and raping you, because obviously you smiled at him in such a fashion that indated you "asked for it".

The reality is that this sort of stranger rape is very rare. Women are raped by their husbands, boyfriends and dates far more often than random strangers. Flirting with a stranger in a bar isn't going to get a girl raped though leaving by herself with him may.

If you decide that an action is wrong, that's fine. But blowing the risks out of proportion to justify your opinion isn't logical.