If you don't dump this control freak NOW, you deserve him.

If you don't dump him, you will be in danger of physical harm.

You are absolutely right. He is already controlling her by "protecting" her and badgering her for hours about her past sexual life. I can imagine him following her around and stopping all contact with other males. And, she should not have been dating a married man before his divorce became final. Divorces are painful, whether they are wanted or not, and this guy needs some time to be alone and reassess his life. I hope he will take goodbye for what it means and leaves her alone.

You are completely right! I was in this type of verbally abusive relationship for 3 1/2 years! He would get better for periods of time but never completely. He came very close to being physically abusive several times and I had to threaten to call the police. He acted more like my father than someone who "wants to protect me". He would tell me how to dress and act eventhough it should have been the other way around. I became very weak after months of this and couldn't get myself back out. It affected my job and family and friends relationships. It is very empowering to leave a man like that. Do it now.

I believe in my case its because his mother left him with a step father that didn't really like him so he hated all women and took it out on them.

Get out now before he wears you down and its too late. If there was a way to give this girl my email without posting online I'd do it in a second because this is EXACTLY what I went through. Makes me wonder if its the same guy.

Zuped, I think you are assuming too much, as is the writer. Just because her boyfriend/fiance wants to know her past doesn't mean he will become abusive. I think its pecular that she says this is the man of her dreams and is perfect but she can't open up to him and share her past. Sounds like there may be something sketchy in her past, which is why she doesn't want to talk about it. She should instead have a discussion with him about why it is so important and tell him what she can remember (I also thinks its sketchy that she doesn't seem to remember that much of her own past) and tell him that is all she has to tell. Everyone has secrets but when someone isn't willing or able to talk about their previous relationships at all, that is also an unhealthy sign. You never know, he could have problems, but I think everyone is jumping to conclusions that he is going to beat her and I think that way to extreme of a take on this situation, especially for the writer that I assume has some sort of education or other credentials that make her somewhat suited to give advice on such a topic as demestic abuse.

This man CAN'T assess himself, he is OCD and Jealous, high strung, irrational, paranoid.

He conveniently has assessed her with HIS issues and now she is the villain, he eventually will rip her apart to anyone who will listen he will attempt to take away any dignity she has left, he is a CASE.

She should let him read these posts.

If he is looking for a "good" woman, then he should marry his mother!

Do you feel that you have to tell your woman every terces of your life, maybe she is embarrassed that she had a couple of meaningless flings, is it only self righteous men that can do this??

If she has a sordid past and he is waiting to absolve her, she needs to find a man that loves her warts and all and to hell with people that insist on holding you back with the negative thoughts and judgements they have (towards anyone but themselves, you can be SURE!)

She isn't "opening up to him" because her intuition is telling her there IS something wrong with wanting to know every single detail. My husband and I have been married for 7 years; he figures what is past is past and it doesn't matter. I agree that you have to share important info about diseases, etc, and even some info on previous dating, but to be interrogated is a sure sign of controlling behavior that will only get worse with time, not better.

For all the men that insist on knowing the details, here's what you don't want to hear:

1. ALL of her previous lovers had bigger penises than you.

2. MOST of them had more money.

3. HALF of them were better dressers.

4. A THIRD of them were smarter than you.

5. NONE of them were interested in any of the others.

If she's willing to be with you, then STFU and go with that.

Right on messy one! Does this guy really want to know how great her ex was in bed? What a loser. One thing Prudie didn't mention is why his first marriage broke up. I wonder if he was just as controlling of the first wife.

See, I asked that question before, too. He TOLD her he was leaving his wife for her. That's the only evidence she has! Why should he tell her the truth and risk losing someone that, so far, has been so easy to manipulate?