That's it, the header says it all. If you have any questions about what the means, ask your Mom. Either way, the only thing I could possibly add to "Get over yourself" would be "Grow up". Also, could you get your mother to write to prudie so we can tell her what to do about her unappreciative brat kid?

sounds to me this is another situation of a parent trying to be "cool," so that their kid will accept them. who cares how "cool" you are, BE A PARENT! she's not only embarassing her daughter, she's embarassing herself. she's NOT "being herself," but making a sad attempt at trying to relive her own teenage years. she needs to get out more with ppl her own age and stop relying on her daughter for her social time. this daughter would do herself and her mom a favor by asking her friends to ask THEIR parents for a ride, or she could take the bus. but mom needs some serious help.

i dont think there is anything in the letter to imply that there is anything wrong with the mother. shes stuck in a car with these two kids, who she is doing a favor, is she not allowed to speak? same thing at home, is she not supposed to check in on her kid, who already admits s/he holes up in the bedroom as if s/hes DOING something off-colour.

and the fact that the LW said "and she thinks shes really funny" shows how snotty they are being. sounds like the mother is being normal by checking on what they are doing, and expecting not to be treated like a taxi when giving rides. and frankly, this sounds like a normal teenager too

Parents who are involved with their kids, who TALK to their kids, who get to know their kids' friends, are less likely to have kids who get in trouble. Sitting there like a paid chauffeur doesn't accomplish this. The mother doesn't need to completely monopolize the conversation, but she should be involved where she thinks it's appropriate.

You completely missed the point. Mom is not inviting the child's friends over on a regular basis. She is doing what any good mom does, and playing an important (and usually thankless) role in her daughter's life. The good moms are the ones that selflessly carpool, chaperone, cook and clean, and very rarely get some much as a thanks. Instead they are met with sneers about how uncool they are.

Do you really expect mom to sit quiety in the front seat like hired help? Or have a houseful of people in her daughter's room and not check in on them? What if those kids are drinking or smoking up there - then the mom gets accused of being a bad parent for NOT paying attention. Knowing who your child is friends with is not pathetic, it is called doing a good job.

Being embarrassed by your mom is a fact of teenage life. But I bet when this kid (yes she is a kid) gets older, she will see what kinds of moms other people had and be grateful for the wonderful mother she had who kept an active interest in her life.

devy:

sounds to me this is another situation of a parent trying to be "cool,"

Actually it sounds to me like a parent trying to be a parent, and a teen being a normal, angsty, bratty teen. Hopefully the LW will grow out of it. I'll let you in on a secret. One of the things you'll discover when you grow up is that there is no point to trying to be cool. It doesn't matter!

devy:

she's NOT "being herself," but making a sad attempt at trying to relive her own teenage years.

LOL! Who would want to relive their teenage years? I don't believe I know anyone who would like to go through that again. Even the "popular" kids from my highschool school who I thought had everything all lined up have said that they wouldn't want to go back to that again. Chances are she talks to the LW's friends because she wants to find out what sort of people the LW is hanging out with.

devy:

she needs to get out more with ppl her own age and stop relying on her daughter for her social time.

And then we'd see another letter about how the LW's parents never have time for her, and she never gets to see her friends since she lives so far away and her mom is too busy to drive her.

My prediction is that you are between 16 and 20 years of age.

devy:

sounds to me this is another situation of a parent trying to be "cool," so that their kid will accept them. who cares how "cool" you are, BE A PARENT! she's not only embarassing her daughter, she's embarassing herself. she's NOT "being herself," but making a sad attempt at trying to relive her own teenage years. she needs to get out more with ppl her own age and stop relying on her daughter for her social time. this daughter would do herself and her mom a favor by asking her friends to ask THEIR parents for a ride, or she could take the bus. but mom needs some serious help.

Right on devy. Parents trying to be cool is sooooo pathetic. I've given my daughter special instructions to smack me upside the head with a her American Girl doll or whatever she happens to be into at the time if I ever try to act like a cool parent.

Hurrray. It's Physicsgirl again. Our favorite know-it-all judgmental responder whose government funds wasting job doesn't keep her busy enough so she has to surf the web to find poor sad souls upon which to vomit her wisdom. It's so nice to have you back. Please, everyone. A big round of applause.

PS: I don't have any immediate plans to go out and steal a Delorean in hopes of turning it into a time machine but I wouldn't mind reliving a few of teenage moments. Especially that one time at the drive in when the chick in the front seat gave me a bjer while the one in the back seat let me feel her big ass boobies. ah, glory days!

Your post says more about you then that bratty little LW.

theywentwild:

i dont think there is anything in the letter to imply that there is anything wrong with the mother. shes stuck in a car with these two kids, who she is doing a favor, is she not allowed to speak? same thing at home, is she not supposed to check in on her kid, who already admits s/he holes up in the bedroom as if s/hes DOING something off-colour.

and the fact that the LW said "and she thinks shes really funny" shows how snotty they are being. sounds like the mother is being normal by checking on what they are doing, and expecting not to be treated like a taxi when giving rides. and frankly, this sounds like a normal teenager too

Why do you people hate children/teenager so much?

TheladyJ:

You completely missed the point. Mom is not inviting the child's friends over on a regular basis. She is doing what any good mom does, and playing an important (and usually thankless) role in her daughter's life. The good moms are the ones that selflessly carpool, chaperone, cook and clean, and very rarely get some much as a thanks. Instead they are met with sneers about how uncool they are.

Do you really expect mom to sit quiety in the front seat like hired help? Or have a houseful of people in her daughter's room and not check in on them? What if those kids are drinking or smoking up there - then the mom gets accused of being a bad parent for NOT paying attention. Knowing who your child is friends with is not pathetic, it is called doing a good job.

Being embarrassed by your mom is a fact of teenage life. But I bet when this kid (yes she is a kid) gets older, she will see what kinds of moms other people had and be grateful for the wonderful mother she had who kept an active interest in her life.

Actually, you're the one missing the point. Because there is a difference between talking to your kids and their friends and making a pathetic attempt to "try and be their friend" which as a parent you are not and should not try to be.

No one expects Mom (that unsung hero of suburbia, let us all praise her endlessly) to sit silently in the front seat like hired help. But drop the "I can still be cool" act. It's is pathetic.

And yes indeed Mom should check in teenagers hanging out in their rooms b/c we all know if you let them alone for more than 2 second together they'll be smoking cigarettes and doing the pot and probably engage in a teen lesbian daisy chain. And OMG the sky will fall!

And being embarrassed by your Mom is not automatically a fact of life. I mean, it probably is with your kids. I don't know. And don't really want to so spare me the anecdotal evidence that your follow up post to this will just have to contain. But it wasn't when I was teenager a billion years ago. My parents were, well, my parents. They looked like parents and talked liked parents and acted like parents. You and the LW writer's lame mother might want to consider doing the same. You just look silly.

its really amazing what anonimity will inspire in some people. it gives courage where cowards reside.

SonnyPI67:

It's Physicsgirl again. Our favorite know-it-all judgmental responder whose government funds wasting job doesn't keep her busy enough so she has to surf the web to find poor sad souls upon which to vomit her wisdom.

Aw. Poor baby. You sound jealous. I'm sure you could get a job where you could surf the internet too.

SonnyPI67:

I wouldn't mind reliving a few of teenage moments. Especially that one time at the drive in when the chick in the front seat gave me a bjer while the one in the back seat let me feel her big ass boobies.

So it was all downhill from then, huh? Well that makes your desire to return more understandable.

SonnyPI67:

Your post says more about you then that bratty little LW.

Internet psychologists are so clever! Now ask me about my mother!

You sound as though you are someone in your late teens (maybe early twenties). <<I back this observation up by the fact that you can apparently sling a sentence, but your grammar is atrocious. How many times did you opt to start your sentences with the word "and?">> I find it quite likely that you will view the situation quite differently when you are older (and maybe when you have teenagers). Why, precisely does this mother need to, "Get over herself?" Her behavior, even in the wildly self-absorbed description of the teenager, sounds perfectly appropriate to me.

The threshold for teenage embarassment is normally quite low; ridiculously low, actually. For a few years during the teenage years of my own daughters, my wife couldn't open her mouth without being accused of "stealing the limelight," "being embarassing," or any one of a dozen other stupid accusations. This situation became so bad at a few points, I was forced to intervene and provide very loving fatherly advice. The conversation would probably go something like this:

Father: "Treat your mother with respect."

Daughter: "But she's embarassing! All my friends talk about her behind her back, doesn't she know that her jokes aren't funny!"

Father: "I don't care if she embarasses you. If you can't be nice to her genuinely, then fake it. It's called being civil. If you can't be civil, I will stop being nice to you. That means no more money, clothes, car, or weekend trips. If you can't comply because you love and respect her, or for that matter me ... we can see how fear works as a motivating force. Do you understand?"

We of course survived these spats, but about halfway through the same phase with my second daughter, I noticed a unique trend. Simply put, my wife is cool and hip. Very much so and this seemed to serve as some kind of a threat to my daughters. My wife is a professor at a major University and her classes are standing room only, every semester. She has a wit which could qualify her for stand-up comedy and a beautiful mind, which means she is almost always original. As a result, she is the life of every party. This makes her ridiculously popular among her students and colleagues. As a further positive, she is also pretty damn non-conformist. These traits strongly appeal to teenagers. They also strongly appeal to adults. It's also why my wife still fascinates, entertains, captivates, and frustrates me after nearly 30 years of marriage. I wouldn't have it any other way.

The root of the problem is that many of my daughter's friends actually came to have pretty solid relationships with my wife. She is a successful career woman who can relate to teenagers on their own level. She's funny, insightful, and actually LIKES teens and young adults. When my daughters, wife and the daughter's friends were all in a room, my wife worked as a sort of competition. There's nothing quite like being outperformed by your mother to TRULY piss off a self-absorbed teenage mind. The final straw would typically come following some sort of crisis when one of the daughter's best friend would call the house to speak with ... my wife. Over the course of two daughters and many friends, this would happen maybe once a month or so. Sometimes it would be something catastrophic (e.g. a teenage pregnancy or drug addiction) or something stupid, but it would set off fireworks lasting a good week or so.

Now that my daughters are older, with children of their own, they look back at those embarassments with fond memories. I would argue to the letter writer and to most of the other young adults busily trashing their parents: Get over yourselves. While embarassment for and of your parents is normal, it doesn't have to run that way. Your parents are people too and (might I add) they are probably a great deal more interesting than most of your other friends. They have experience, insight, and lives with a depth that will likely stagger you. Further, you will probably end up being very much like them. My wife was a great example to my daughters and their friends of the type of women that society should produce - successful, tolerant, compassionate, funny, and interesting. If you do a critical assessment (I know that is asking a lot), you might find the same in your own parents. If it's a good thing, why do you feel the need to rail against that?