Dear Crabby,
My daughter is a single mommy. She and her lowlife girlfriend came over, dumped their kids on me, and went bar hopping til all hours of the morning. When I told her I wouldn’t stand for that again, she said I was “judgemental” and cut off all communication. Now I’m afraid I won’t get to see the grandkids at all. What should I do?
— “Crouching Daughter, Hidden Flagron”
Dear “Bad Night and Bad Luck”,
Responding to your UNSPOKEN question – yes, you’re daughter is a slut, but its impossible to tell if she became that way under your parentage, or it developed after she left home. That said, I wouldn’t turn down any chances to babysit those grandkids if I were you. You appear to be the closest thing resembling a responsible adult in their lives. There’s no way Crabby can help you “repair your relationship” with your daughter, I’m afraid though. Lead by example, not by nagging. And think of the children – always think of the children.
- Crabby, who is a single mommy herself, and has asked her own mom to take Dani for a weekend. But I went out with a real boyfriend, not random barhopping with another single mommy loser like myself. That makes me more highly evolved, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it ?????
Dear Crabby,
Every Mother's Day, my husband and I invite my mom, gandmom, and my mother in law to join us for a restaurant meal, and my MIL always declines. Then my husband forces us to go over to his mother's house, which I hate to do because I have 10,000 excuses but really I just can’t stand her, and she can’t stand me. Is it okay just to send a note or flowers and not invite - or even visit her – on mother’s day ever again, for the rest of our lives?
— “Sent off a woman”
Dear “Dead Mom Walking”,
Certainly. It’ll set a perfect example for your kids too, later in life. Nobody ever reaps what they sow, do they? Our actions are all free of consequences.
— Crabby, who believes that if you only take your mom or mother in law to a restaurant once a year, then there are relationship problems far too deep for me to even begin to address here
Dear Crabby,
We’ve been poor for the 12 years of our marriage but are finally moving up in life – my husband has a new job, in a new city. But I haven't had a salon haircut in 2 years, and rarely get new clothes. However, my husband got a dog for the kids, and each $60 session at the groomer costs more then the salon visits I’ve been denying myself. He thinks my priorities are out of whack – who’s right here?
— “Dances with Dogs”
Dear “The People vs. Harry Skinflint”,
Just a shot in the dark here, but let me guess – your sex life is in the toilet, since you spend zero on your appearance, right? I suspect your husband regards a salon visit as throwing good money after bad at this stage. My other question - is your desire for new clothes and a makeover intended to impress him, or your new girlfriends in your new town? No need to object, plaintiff - I withdraw the question, in the interest of finishing this letter on a civil note. The short answer is to buy a $20 set of clippers and buzz the dog yourself. Then go to the salon (spend extra to have them take out the gray) and don’t take any of his backtalk about it that night, Make-up sex can be the hottest, anyway! And if the fight gets really nasty, just remind him that you’re not quibbling about his liquor bills, greens fees, and online porn charges.
— Crabby, who does her own nails, but not her own hair. Where are you people from, anyway? Karjackistan?
Dear Crabby,
I hate my friend’s mom. We’re mooching rides off her, and she acts like she’s some sort of actual friend or something. When I’ve confronted her about this she tells me that I’m “lucky to even get a ride”. What’s up with this witch? And how can I make her do what I say?
— “The Princess of Rides”
Dear “Ride and Prejudice”,
Commit suicide – that will show her. The world is too cruel a place for a princess like you.
— Crabby, who always asks several of the kids where I live if they want to go to the store with me. They get a free soda and a little parenting out of the deal, and I get my groceries carried upstairs.
