You mean there are consequences to having an extensive sexual past?

Psychological you say?

Emotional you say?

Who knew that anyone would actually bother to ask about?

And why should anyone's morality stand in judgement of my sexual past, because I am an individual law onto myself. How dare anyone make even a tisk or a whisk or a flinch at whatever I have done.

No, these are not consequences of her past, but of his obsession. She didn't question HIM for 2 hours, to the point of tears, about HIS past! No one I know of has ever been grilled about their past like that. Except maybe President Clinton.

"And why should anyone's morality stand in judgement of my sexual past, because I am an individual law onto myself. How dare anyone make even a tisk or a whisk or a flinch at whatever I have done."

Exactly.......I think you speak for all of us. Thanks!

Maybe he just wants to know that the person he's committing to will commit to him back. You can criticize him now, but just wait, jealousy and sexual envy goes both ways ladies and gents.

Kurt

Grilling her to the point of tears doesn't sound like he's very committed to her.

While I am all for openness and honesty, and my husband knows about all of my peccadillos, all a lover is really ENTITLED to is (assuming honesty, of course):

1. I have never cheated (or, I have cheated, these were the circumstances, and it will not happen again)

2. Here is my clean bill of health from Planned Parenthood.

3. This is my sexual orientation (whatever it may be)

No one has the right to demand I number my lovers, detail my experiences, or apologise for anything that happened before my current relationship.

Freki

Usama2:

You mean there are consequences to having an extensive sexual past?

There are consequences to everything, from drinking a cup of coffee to buying a car. In the LW's case, it doesn't sound like she's particularly upset over the "consequences" of her sexual past, merely the behavior of her current lover. Had she been with someone else, the issue might not have been raised at all.

Usama2:

And why should anyone's morality stand in judgement of my sexual past, because I am an individual law onto myself. How dare anyone make even a tisk or a whisk or a flinch at whatever I have done.

Personally I couldn't care less about who you have or haven't done. I do think it's important that two people who are planning on a long term relationship mostly agree about sexual morals. Those morals may be different than yours or mine, but so long as both parties are happy with the issue it doesn't matter.

In the LW's case, it sounds like her fiance is obsessed with the past. But since the LW can not change anything that has happened in the past, he has to decide whether he wants to deal or bail.

IncogNeato:

No, these are not consequences of her past, but of his obsession. She didn't question HIM for 2 hours, to the point of tears, about HIS past! No one I know of has ever been grilled about their past like that. Except maybe President Clinton.

Ah did not sleep with that woman!

Surely you, Physicsgirl, picked up on my overarching sarcasm in response to the distopic skirt wearer?

Kurt,

you are niave, this man is a jealous, possessive stalker mentality, I bet she isn't the first person he has pulled a tirade like this on before, her past ain't his business, he is the lying adulterer, he needs to look at that.