Or did the wife divorce him? We don't know anything about this story. I think it's pretty clear that LW #1 does *not* have a healthy skepticism about what's coming out of this guy's mouth. How did this "reconnection" happen? Did they just run into each other in Dunkin' Donuts, or did someone (he, specifically) actively initiate it? Did he really leave his wife for her....or is it possible his wife dumped him because he's abusive, and so he's trying to find an old flame and concocting some story about "leaving" his wife to manipulate her into staying with him?

Also, with respect to the people who claim that the husband has a healthy sense of "curiosity" about the LW's past, and that this is about forging "intimacy," .... if your idea of pursuing "intimacy" is to pursue it until someone has to hang up on you, I can't imagine what your personal lives must look like.

If he left his wife...in the forest,...and there wasn't a bottom-feeding lawyer to hear it...did she get a good judgment?

It's questions like this - and your Dunkin' Donuts theory above, that keep me up nights...

Meanwhile - I admire your restraint regarding the "curiosity." The guy sounds like he's channeling Josef freaking Mengele, and his champions around here who can't "see the other side" of this manipulative punk sound like volunteers, all too soon to call themselves victims.

I think you make excellent points. If this letter had been printed 2 years ago, I would have sworn my niece wrote it. She's young (25 now), has 3 kids, and was divorced at 21 (got pregnant at 15, married at 16). After the divorce, she "reconnected" with an old high school flame while she was stripping in Denver. My niece is very sweet, bright (she dropped out of high school, but did get her GED), kind-hearted, and pretty darn naive. . . sigh. And she desperately wanted to be "rescued" (but certainly not by family!). Long story short, old flame was a psycho, obsessed with her previous sex life (particularly considering the circumstances in which he "found" her), and was successful in cutting her off from friends and family for a good 6 months while he "took care" of her (i.e. verbally, emotionally, and occasionally physically abused her). He finally "allowed" her to get a job as a receptionist and within 2 weeks, she came out of her abuse-induced fog and got the hell out of there. Epilogue--she just married the 40 year-old guy who owns the business where she is a receptionist. Ugggh. At least this guy has embraced her family and is very supportive of her taking college courses in the fall. The whole thing has been so sad that I'm actually relieved my husband and I live in another state. It's has been a hell of a strain on my husband's elderly parents (who basically raised the niece).

Dear So Tired:

I have been there, done that. PLEASE run don't walk away from this man.