Many a misdirected youth has found profound motivation from being a member of the US Marine Corp. This boy sounds like the perfect candidate for the motivationaly skills of a friendly Drill Instructor.

Of course the Navy, Army and Air Force also offer opportunities. Compared to what will probably happen to him in San Francisco, the services are the place he should be.

jackg

I joined Slate just to respond to this.

The military would not be successful if there were not LOTS of kids just like this one, directionless in their late teens.

So just what is his mother doing for him that the military would not ?
And why are posters a) ragging on his mother while b) suggesting that he join the military ?

Hello ! In our culture the military TAKES THE PLACE of mommy for boys like this. Food, housing, transportation, health care, training, social network, etc. etc. (while 'dad' in the form of the drill instructor deals with 'whipping the kid into shape'.) And all without the boy having to make ANY decisions. Except to sign on in the first place, which these days is a high-pressure sell and confers considerable bonuses. BUT as a taxpayer I did NOT sign on to pay for the military to be a surrogate mommy for young people.

Boys are not as mature as girls at birth. They do not grow up as fast as girls. Physically and mentally they are not really mature until at least their mid-twenties. By then most of them are brainwashed into being what society expects of them. I kind of admire this kid for his passive resistance. Given time, I think he might make a good teacher. But our culture is all about there not being enough time. Too many wars waiting to be fought.

Kids don't know about other options -- trade schools, apprentice-ships, 'gap' years, study abroad, work/exchange programs, etc. etc.
When options are limited to college, scut jobs, or the military, lots of sensitive and creative kids fall through the cracks.

You have to at least allow that the mom was honest. Maybe both mother and son just need more options.

Wow! You admire this kid's passive resistance? He's a nineteen year-old child. Not a man.

Boys are not less mature then girls at birth. Rather, they are not matured throughout their adolescence with the same vigor that society applies to girls. The pressure is on girls as early as 12-13 to be women - with all that it entails. Society, though, takes the pressure off boys and allows that they can "never grow up".

Changing this direction is what is needed. Boys need conflict, failure, and struggle to grow. The opportunity to lose, and then to grow, and then to win, must be brought to boys for them to become men.

The growth process is different for girls, and currently our societal education structure is geared toward their growth, reaping gains there while a generation of boys falls fallow.

irina:

But our culture is all about there not being enough time. Too many wars waiting to be fought. Kids don't know about other options -- trade schools, apprentice-ships, 'gap' years, study abroad, work/exchange programs, etc. etc. When options are limited to college, scut jobs, or the military, lots of sensitive and creative kids fall through the cracks.

I definitely agree that the way we keep pushing the idea of four-year college as the only option for students really does cause a lot of good students to fall through the cracks. It's a major reason why so many students don't bother finishing high school. But I don't really think this is the problem with this kid. It really does seem like his biggest problem is the fact that his mother has refused to let him grow up and he's pretty much a huge man-child that can't survive on his own and has no ambition to do anything besides play games and mooch off of mom. I think a spell in the military would do him good. It would cause him to toughen up considerably and become a man instead of an eternal boy.

And boys may not mature as fast as girls but I've seen some pretty mature 19 year old boys (or to be more correct, MEN) in my time. These are guys that HAVE to be mature because they don't have Mommy there to baby them and do everything for them. They have to grow up and take jobs in high school to help support their families, join the army, work to get through college, etc. Heck, most men in the past were working full time jobs and supporting families at the age of 19. It's only the upper middle class of recent years that have the privilege of raising children that don't have to grow up and learn to survive in the world.

I am not dissing boys saying that they are born less mature than girls. This is a biological fact and it has to do with the XX (female) being the 'default' coding which means their development is on track from the get-go.

Boys have XY coding, which means that their development has to 'jump tracks' to that pathway. Biologically, boys are about one gestational month behind girls when born at full term. They are less mature.


All kids are pressured to grow up too fast. This used to be a survival trait but may not be in the future. Humans are starting to live much longer. What is the rush ?

Many youth are not really seeing the value of buying into a system based on money featuring the pictures of old dead white men who stole an entire continent from its previous residents. But we have nothing else to offer them. Is that their fault ?

Like Christ said, you can't put new wine in old wineskins.

Irina,

Please tell me that your response is a joke, and that you really aren't such an idiot.

"I kind of admire this kind of passive resistance"???? Please. "I'll just sit on my butt spending my parents money while I figure out life." Maybe you should join the military, and make a few sacrifices, for the good of the rest of us.

I can't believe some of the responses you are getting. I joined slate just to reply to Mrs. G's article, and saw yours. As a veteran (USA) , with a hubby currently in (USN), and two boys serving ( USA, and USMC ) , I just had to add my two cents in ... I didn't do well my first semester of college , and decided to join the Army. I couldn't waste my parents' money like that. It was such a good thing I did. Two tours in Bosnia will make you grow up fast. He'd grow up , that's for sure. What in the heck is that mom thinking ?

Irina - You have never served if you think the military takes the place of "MOMMY". We do think, and yes , we are provided with food and healthcare ( both ok , not great - you ever eaten an MRE ?) but that's because people like me and my husband and our sons are busy protecting you and your family , so you can write stupid pissy responses just like the one above. Get a clue.

For all you military types --

Where do you think your food COMES from ?

We are farmers and we GROW (guess what !) FOOD !

We have NO safety network ! Health care ? What's that ?

So leave off already with the ragging on me. If young people were
allowed to mature in a world which wasn't so insanely militarized
then we could start growing into our true potentials.

Sometimes passive resistance while the system supports you is the only viable option (hint hint to the military types who are starting to wake up as to what they're really 'serving'!)

You're "screeching" to the choir. Spare me , I left my parents' farm FOR the military.

Yeah, there does seem to be a cycle there. We didn't ask our kids to do farm work for that very reason, that was our trip, not theirs, all they were asked to do was occasionally man the booth at the farmers market.

When the military starts growing its own food (and maybe some for the rest of us too !) I will start believing in it. Until then it is, as it has always been historically, parasitic on the civilian population.

War is a racket.

Without the U.S. military, there would be no country, and you would have no farm, and no food. The fact that you can make such an incredibly ignorant statement as to call the military "parasitic" s a testament to the great job our military has historically done in 1.) protectecting our asses, and 2.) keeping our society from becoming over militarized, so that idiots like you can delude themselves into thinking that they are above it. Yes, Irina, I would agree that even a moron like you deserves protection.

By the way, I'm sure the military is quite hurt by the fact that you don't "believe in" them. I notice you don't offer any alternatives to having a military (since there are none), you simply feel free to mock the system that allows you to grow your own food.

Tks Freetrader. You had my six on that one. Couldn't have said it any better.

Thank you, MammacitaSarah, for your Service.