I think another way of looking at this is that the mom is being respectful of the couples burgeoning sexual activity. Yes, the boyfriend tells his mother when they are going to have sex, but as far as the girlfriend knows that's all that he says to her.

Plus, the mom is a health educator at a university! She's not stupid. She knows that young people are going to have sex. It's good that she's supplying the kids with safer sex supplies.

Maybe the girlfriend is just uncomfortable with sex. Afterall, what is going to expect from her college roommate when her boyfriend comes over? Stay in the bunk? No, the roommate will probably be asked to "run an erand."

There's a difference in being respectful of (and I think that should be changed to "aware of") burgeoning sexual activity, and being included on details. Such as when it is planned.

If he is sharing this much information with his mother both of them have obvious boundary issues.

The girl assumes that the guy is telling his mom when he plans to have sex but doesn't that seem a little odd to everybody?

The guy probably plans to have sex every chance he gets. The mom knows how teenage boys are and assumes that. She leaves the house on occasion and the boy takes the opportunity to have sex. On the surface, it looks like the mom knew ahead of time but the girl could be confusing cause and effect.

It seems much more logical to me than a teen going to his mom ahead of time and telling her in graphic detail what he plans on doing to his girlfriend. Heck, worse case scenario I can imagine is that he asks his mom for 'alone time' with his girlfriend.

See my response in the other thread. :)

LOL shall we just agree to disagree?

It's easy enough to look at a young couple (or an older one, for that matter) and tell when your presence is no longer required. Boyfriend may never have said a thing.

I'm not so sure we are disagreeing. I might have to go back and re-read.... :)

I doubt the boy is even mentioning sex to his mom, she's just assuming they're doing it, especially since she can see that the condoms she leaves for him are disappearing. If the boy was being so open and honest with his mother, I would think she would be a little more curious instead of just leaving the house; you know, asking the girlfriend how it's going, giving her advice, etc. Treating her as one of her friends, not as her teenage son's girlfriend.

My reply in the other thread: "It's entirely possible that bf is letting Mom know that gf will be visiting. Teenagers having sex take every opportunity so it's not a leap for mom to figure out what will happen. So, bf may not be sharing intimate details".

I think I'm agreeing with you and Susan on this.

I'm not used to this new format yet...hard to separate the posts in "flat" and can't even see all of them in "threaded"...(grumble, grumble).

When both my kids turned 16, I signed a waver at the doctor's office for them to go to the doctor without me. This way they would feel more comfortable getting protection without mom or dad knowing. I knew that they would have sex when they were ready, no matter what me & hubby have said.

My sister in law accused me of encouraging them, but then again, she's the one with the daughter that had a baby at age 14. She never wanted to discuss it with her kids, she didn't want to "encourage" them. Wonder why niece had three kids & several abortions before she turned 20?

BlueDahlia77:

I think another way of looking at this is that the mom is being respectful of the couples burgeoning sexual activity. Yes, the boyfriend tells his mother when they are going to have sex, but as far as the girlfriend knows that's all that he says to her.

I agree, if you can't discuss these things then you are too immature to do them. This girl thinks that discussing sex is icky when it is the healthiest thing to do. No- communication leads to bad things. It is like when a girl says she didn't mean to have sex, it just happened. Well, if you had discussed these things ahead over time it wouldn't have just happened. His mom probably isn't hearing inappropriate detail about sex, just discussing responsibility. When the girlfriend is out of the picture, this young man will still have a responsible attitude toward sex.

Couldn't agree with you more. And there is really no evidence that the son is telling his mother anything that she wouldn't be able figure out herself. All he has to say is that his girlfriend is coming over. His mother can guess what is going to happen while she's there and makes herself scarce, when she senses they want their alone time. As far as her knowing what brand of condoms he uses... that's a bit too much.

Mom has been around the block once or twice and is well aware of the consequences of her college-bound son knocking up his seventeen year old girlfriend.

Teenagers are not known for their brains. If you tell them something is dumb, it's a guarantee that they'll do it, or at least try to. That's just a given.

If this little girl gets pregnant, there's a chance the two lovebirds will insist on marrying. This would effectively destroy her son's chances of finishing college and his earning power in the future. If nothing else, she'll have to see her son on the hook for child support for 18 years. The mom knows that this is a fling that will likely vanish after the first Christmas break they're in college.

So. Mom keeps them supplied with condoms and makes sure that they're having sex where the condoms are. Easy.

Congrats on getting top billing in this week's Fraywatch column for your inspired description of the Serra exhibit. Freditor Geoff makes an inspired would-be comparison between it and .... (you'll have to see for yourself)

Mary Ann