It is that bride's special day and the focus is supposed to be on her! Not her flashy mother-in-law. Give me a break. She's not being spoiled, it's just proper etiquette to dress appropriately and not like some tramp to a wedding, especially your son and his future wife!

As a bride, you do not get to dictate the dress of people not in your wedding party. Period. Being mother of the groom makes you a draftee, not a volunteer, in the Army of Wedding.

And frankly, if you have to derive the specialness of your wedding day from the fact that you've forced everyone to look like a Walt Disney movie, rather than from the fact that you're marrying someone you care about, maybe you should rethink that whole long-term commitment thing. Sheesh.

I'm 27, and I would never, ever, ever, in a million years, dream of telling anyone - an older woman, or anyone else - what it is appropriate for them to wear at a wedding, or anything else. The ageism reflected in the bride's attitude is absolutely disgusting. Some of the sexiest women I can think of are in that age bracket (who wouldn't love to have Sharon Stone's legs?). the idea that being the mother of the groom obligates you to not wear something that makes you feel good is, quite frankly, ridiculous. If someone is welcoming you into their family, you don't thank them by telling them they're not as sexy as they think they are. That woman deserves a more greatful daughter-in-law.

ARIVERA6:

It is that bride's special day and the focus is supposed to be on her!

That's complete and utter BS. It's not HER day. It's a family day. This means it's party her day, her husband's day, her parents' day, her husband's parents' day, etc. If she wants it to be only her day, then her and her husband should elope.

ARIVERA6:

Give me a break. She's not being spoiled, it's just proper etiquette to dress appropriately and not like some tramp to a wedding, especially your son and his future wife!

It's not proper etiquette to order people to dress differently because it offends your sensabilities. Who gets to decide what is "appropriate" and what is "trampy"? You? Me? Brides?

She should simply grin and bear it. It's only a frickin' dress. No one is going to care.

PhysicsGirl:

Who gets to decide what is "appropriate" and what is "trampy"? You? Me? Brides? She should simply grin and bear it. It's only a frickin' dress. No one is going to care.

You're absolutely right about the "only a dress" comment. Wear something you like and that makes you feel good. That's my rule. I haven't worn a rodeo clown outfit to work, but I should. That's a lot like my current job.

GIF!!! GIF!!!

The mother of the bride is 51 and may be a stunner for all we know. I hardly think spaghetti straps constitute trashiness. This bride sounds extremely childish. If her mother in law to be has truly bought a "trashy" dress she will be the object of pity and derision. But if llittle Miss Bride to Be issues an ultimatum she may find life long damage to her relationship with her mother in law. From my viewpoint, when I go to a wedding I go with a sense of joy and look forward to a pleasant time with family and friends, and some good food. I DO NOT critique any one's clothes or whether or not the color scheme has been strictly adhered to. Bride to Be - get thee some Valium - quick!

Like it or not, it's is traditional for the mother of the groom to at least consult with the mother of the bride so that their dresses at least COMPLIMENT one another, which clearly did not happen. They don't have to match. But the mother of the groom IS a part of the wedding party, so unless she is not planning to be in any of the formal wedding portraits, her attire IS a concern. I would agree the concern is excessive if it was extended simply to guests, but a MIL's attire is a legitimate concern. If anyone was paying close attention, it was the mother of the bride, not the bride herself, who raised the first concern about the dress's appropriateness, so clearly ageism wasn't the major issue. I know plenty of women in the 50+ age range who are fabulous looking, but I also know plenty who are not and also have absolutely no taste and could probably stand a little guidance.
I don't think this bride is at all out of line. She had a legitimate concern, and it deserved a legitimate response.

These Bridezillas are positively disgusting. Too many of these wenches are picking up what they see on these reality tv shows that make them feel entitled. This not all about "me, me, me." It is a family celebration and if the mother-in-law has the figure to wear such a dress, get over it! If the dress were not flattering, it is STILL not a young wench's place to determine so. One of the MIL's friends, in her age bracket will more than likely say something if the dress did not look right.

However, if she looks fabulous, get over it and hope you are lucky enough to look so great at age 51. With such a sour attitude, that bride will probably look worse than a prune when she hits her 50's.

So you hire a good photographer who knows how to position her where she isn't going to be too distracting, and gets a couple of shots where she's front and center to keep her happy. Problem solved.

And I've seen plenty of twenty somethings (and teens) showing way too much flesh and I don't mean just skimpy clothes, but they've got too much FLESH to be showing off! As a 49 year old, I take offense at her insinuations that once you're middle aged it's time to dress like an old maid. Wow, a "wispy" skirt - what a bridezilla...

ARIVERA6:

It is that bride's special day and the focus is supposed to be on her!

Uhh. The bride's day? Are you sure you're not thinking of a beauty pageant? Most weddings involve at least one other person. Also, the point of the wedding event, as opposed to the marriage ceremony, is to share the experience with family and friends.

ARIVERA6:

Not her flashy mother-in-law. Give me a break. She's not being spoiled, it's just proper etiquette to dress appropriately and not like some tramp to a wedding, especially your son and his future wife!

Maybe the MiL should not have picked that dress. But that's not the question. The question is whether the bride should try to get her not to wear it. The answer, is "NO". She should keep her mouth shut. It will be good practice, which she clearly needs.

Rude is the best that dumb-bunny, spoiled bride deserves! One day she may learn that there are things that are more important than whether a dress matches or an older woman wants to look attractive.

Just because the comment is coming from another middle-aged woman doesn;t mean it's not ageist. I've seen this same thing happen in my own family, where my aunt's SIL dresses in a very "old-lady-ish" style and is appalled by and critical of my aunt's choice of dress for my cousin's wedding. The dress is lovely, and in no way indiscreet. My aunt just happens to have a large bustline that is still quite capable of carrying off a strapless dress and a small waist, even at 59. She's an attractive woman and she chose a dress that makes her look gorgeous. This highly offends her SIL, who is very close to her in age, because she finds the dress inappropriate and too young looking.

I also think sage green, robin's egg blue, and light pink will look fine together in pictures. It will look like a garden party. (With he groomsmen in their brown tuxes being the mulch, I guess)

I had claret red bridemaids' dresses, my mom wore red with a sheer black overlay (looked deep maroon in pictures), my mother in law was in steel blue, and my sister in law in bright lime green. When the guys in their neutral tuxes were all positioned correctly as buffers, it all looked fine. Sure sis-in-law's dress was way out of the grand scheme, but she looked fantastic and was comfortable and happy. I never even thought twice about it. Matching is overrated.

If she cared so much about her mil's dress, when they announced the engagement, she should have announced, "And I just can't wait till you and I go shopping together for your 'mother of the groom' dress!"