I understand that "stepmom" is angry and hurt but, even as adults people can be traumatized by divorce. The daughter made it perfectly clear from the beginning that she wanted nothing to do with her fathers new love and family. Cold? yes. But, dad and stepmom should be respectful of the daughters choice to remove herself from their lives.She has that right. It seems better than confrontations and negative energy being thrown. The last thing that should happen is dad confronting the daughter....Can't you already hear "you're taking her side!"...Bottom line...she's a child hurt over her parents divorce and see this woman as a threat to HER family. I hope for them the best.

I completely agree.

I completely agree! Thank you!

The Stepmom needs to place herself in the new husbands daughter's shoes. Nothing is written in the new marriage license that states both families should blend! They say it is harder for adult children to get over the loss of a parent through divorce or death then when they are small. Stepmom's try "too" hard to be accepted! Just sit back and chill out and keep your opinions to yourself. I have been a stepmom for over 30 yrs now and "you stand and smile" and wait for them to accept you and they will. Just because you share their father's life now doesn't mean they have to share it also. You have your children do things with them and if you are a good new wife (aka. stepmom) you will make arrangements for your new husband and his children to do things together and let him be the one to say "(your name) thought it would be great if I still atleast once a month get together with all my kids".. Show you care!! Try not to rule!!

I definitely agree. I know really want to know what the mother was thinking when she took her young son to this woman's house. The stepdaughter had previously proven that she was completely disinterested in her father's new family, so why place the little boy in a position where it's almost certain he's going to be rejected? Way to go, mother. Whether the stepdaughter has a personality disorder or not, the new wife needs to be the adult and let it go. Trying to force someone to like you and accept you almost never ends well.

Isn't the step daughter an adult also? She should have some minimal courtesy toward her father's wife no matter how she felt. They were delivering gifts for her children. I agree that step-mothers should not push a relationship, but adult children should be held accountable for at least common courtesy toward the other family. I know that divorce can be harder on adult children, but in ten years she should have come to some terms with it. If not, she should be in some serious counseling!

mshappy19:

Isn't the step daughter an adult also? She should have some minimal courtesy toward her father's wife no matter how she felt. They were delivering gifts for her children. I agree that step-mothers should not push a relationship, but adult children should be held accountable for at least common courtesy toward the other family. I know that divorce can be harder on adult children, but in ten years she should have come to some terms with it. If not, she should be in some serious counseling!

Agreed.

It's been 10 YEARS. And her father wasn't even the one who ended the relationship, her mother cheated and divorced him. I get being hurt and traumatized, but at a certain point, you have to at least try to stop being selfish and support your father's attempt at happiness.

of course everyone involved has the right to act like a horse's ass because their feelings are hurt. it's only human nature to believe the entire universe centers around yourself, so it shouldn't matter who else's feelings get hurt, and what etiquette rules are broken, as long as you get to act out on your hurt, for no matter how long it takes you to get even. this poor stepdaughter - I mean, she didn't even get *asked* if she wanted to be a stepdaughter, did she? so it's only appropriate that she decide who she wants in her life, and who not.

by the same token, I certainly hope the father and stepmother take the hint and erase her name - and those of her "real family" - from the gift list. after all, gifts, like good manners, are optional. or so I've been told.

I just hope the stepdaughter knows whom to blame when daddy dearest makes himself scarce around her and his grandchildren. hint: it's not dad & stepmom.

bajacalla:

of course everyone involved has the right to act like a horse's ass because their feelings are hurt. it's only human nature to believe the entire universe centers around yourself, so it shouldn't matter who else's feelings get hurt, and what etiquette rules are broken, as long as you get to act out on your hurt, for no matter how long it takes you to get even. this poor stepdaughter - I mean, she didn't even get *asked* if she wanted to be a stepdaughter, did she? so it's only appropriate that she decide who she wants in her life, and who not.

by the same token, I certainly hope the father and stepmother take the hint and erase her name - and those of her "real family" - from the gift list. after all, gifts, like good manners, are optional. or so I've been told.

I just hope the stepdaughter knows whom to blame when daddy dearest makes himself scarce around her and his grandchildren. hint: it's not dad & stepmom.

I competely agree with you, this 'grown woman' is placing herself and her feelings before anyone, even her father whom is suffering even more than she is. She doesn't seem to care about anyone but herself, it's been ten years, she needs to let it go. I can understand two years, I can understand up to five, but after that life needs to go on, and obviously the father has already moved on.

THANK YOU! Finally some people who actually think that whether or not this woman is ticked off about her parent's divorce....which happened YEARS AGO......she is acting like two year old.

My grandma and grandpa divorced. None of us were happy about it. My mom was devestated...and yet we ALL made the effort to be kind to my grandfather's "special lady". Sure we joked about her behind her back because well...grandpa dating was weird but we were nice, we were polite and we were civilized....

As for being horrible to the metally disabled boy. That's just mean. He doesn't understand why this woman is behaving like a wench ... she can't muster up a smile and hi how are you? She can't treat him the way she should be treating any casual aquaintance. This poor kid didn't do anything wrong and he was punished by her unfairly.