Yo Ho Ho Matey, It's wrong as can be you are!

You've made it perfectly obvious to everyone that you've never seen the 17 or 18 installments of the Jaws movie franchise.

The knowledge that you can shake no more than a dash of table salt into a fresh water lake and immediately have twelve to eighteen foot sharks materialize has kept me out of the water for years.

I drive up and down the beaches of LA (Lower Alabama) frantically yelling

"Get out of the water before it's too late!"

at all of the little chillins, but no one listens.

If the water were to get any deeper than 1/16 inch (0.15875 cm) in the shower, I would call it quits, cause they can swim right up the drain, and the grate over the drain in my shower is pretty flimsy.

I switched totally to gin and stopped drinking water years back due to the likelyhood that young sharks would swim out the faucet and take up residence in my waterglass. Any Seaman knows that they will bite your lips off if you give than a chance.

I guess you know that they changed the old saying "raining sharks and sting rays" to "raining cats and dogs" in a feeble attempt to avoid mass public panic, but any idiot knows a tiger shark can live in the clouds for weeks if needed for a cold front to make it across from the west coast to Kansas.

When they do Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, I put my fireplace screen in front of the TV to slow the slimey buggers down when they come swimming at me through the screen glass and sit there with my spear gun and harpoon, determined to protect my loved ones at all costs.

You must remember that this is the Fray and you have an seaman's obligation to spread the truth about sharks, regardless of what it may cost you in time or effort.

Ever in the service of the Sea,

Capt'n M2

:o)