I'm a part-time male condom model (extra-large only!), 26 years old, 6' 4'' and 220; I played football and ran track in college and nearly made the Olympics last time around before injuring my knee saving a busload of children from a blazing, out-of-control dumptruck (for which I received the Medal of Freedom, incidentally); I'm a PhD in Quantum Mechanics, married, two kids (the 8-year-old's headed to Harvard, and the 5-year-old's likely going to play violin in the Philharmonic this fall), and I make $145,000/year as a professor at MIT (my full-time job).
Seriously...