Yeah, you're sickened that you wanted to screw this really hot guy and then actually did. That's sickening. Who wouldn't be sickened when they found out that they were a normal sexual being and not a TV show character.

And good for Prudie for pointing out that it would be "good" if you could tell your boyfriend (when you drop the bomb) that you were sooooo sickened that you're already in therapy. Fucking great idea. Better yet, maybe you could like cut yourself a little so you could show him the scabs and scars so he'll know how truly sickened you were. I think plucking your eyes out would be going a little too far but give it some thought.

Now here's the question: If you go for Prudie's "therapy" dodge, how long do you have to actually put up with that bullshit before your guilt ticket's officially punched and you can get back to a normal life?

And she says she has accepted the blame for her cheating, but blame from whom, and what about the consequences? Until she confesses and accepts the blame from her fiance, who is the victim in this sordid tale, she has not accepted blame or consequences. She is basically looking for the get out of jail free card and hoping the stud she cheated with or her friend who is now sleeping with stud doesn't tell.

And what about the humiliation when her fiance learns that she cheated with the guy they have been hanging around with? For her to not tell, and continue to associate, and have her fiance associate with this guy is a huge act of betrayal and shows she has absolutely no respect for her fiance.

jburd1:

And she says she has accepted the blame for her cheating, but blame from whom, and what about the consequences? Until she confesses and accepts the blame from her fiance, who is the victim in this sordid tale, she has not accepted blame or consequences. She is basically looking for the get out of jail free card and hoping the stud she cheated with or her friend who is now sleeping with stud doesn't tell.

And what about the humiliation when her fiance learns that she cheated with the guy they have been hanging around with? For her to not tell, and continue to associate, and have her fiance associate with this guy is a huge act of betrayal and shows she has absolutely no respect for her fiance.

She could "merely" be a sociopath whose biggest fear is that she won't get what she wanted (the fiancee) becasue she got something else she wanted (Mr. Hottie) instead. Sociopathic people want to have what they want, and they don't/can't think in terms of respecting other people.

wow, what a powerfully ignorant miscategorization of what a sociopath is. According to your definition, every person on the planet is a sociopath.

As for the cheating woman, usually this is just her way of trying to get out of the relationship. She was probably having cold feet about he marriage and cheated because inside she knows it's a mistake. She should just tell him and end it.

There's a good discussion here: <link>

She does not fit all of the descriptive comments but enough of them, in my opinion. Note the disagreement among the professioinals.

If your analysis was correct, the LW's question would have been how to tell the fiancee about her cheating and give back the ring. She did not do so. She seems to understand that things are closing in on her, but her question is how to avoid the consequences. Most of us, being relatively normal people, understand that cheating while engaged to be married is a deal breaker.

FirstInLastOut:

wow, what a powerfully ignorant miscategorization of what a sociopath is.

You may have confused sociopath with psychopath. There are a lot more of the former.

FirstInLastOut:

As for the cheating woman, usually this is just her way of trying to get out of the relationship. She was probably having cold feet about he marriage and cheated because inside she knows it's a mistake.

This is a classic excuse right out of the literature on extramarital affairs. If she wanted to end the engagement she wouldn't be trying so hard to keep her fling a secret, would she?

Whatever... For all we know he will confess that he went to a 'cat-house' while he was away. Right after she confesses to her little bar adventure with Mr Textmessager...

:o)