I'm curious to know if there is any anecdotal evidence that the pressure to breastfeed in some communities can actually lessen the satisfaction a mother gets from sharing this event with her child. I've noticed that in affluent, educated circles, there are a lot of community enforced norms of the "proper" way to rear a child. Women or couples who stray from these norms (everything from breastfeed - which I favor by the way - to when to apply to preschool or whether to feed your kids organic food or whether the baby sleeps with you or when you go back to work or whether you hire a nanny, etc. etc. ad nauseum ad infinitum) can basically be shunned by their peers. I've known women who attempted to breastfeed but were stymied by a range of difficulties (some were related to breastfeeding, like sore nipples or difficulty latching on, but some were related to marital issues or post-partum depression that made it hard to focus on an activity that can be more difficult than some make it out to be), but were embarrassed to admit that they gave up or even that they were having problems.

I raise this because I think there is a big difference between my mother's experience, who headed her local La Leche league and helped pioneer efforts in the 1970s to make breastfeeding common practice, and my own. Even as I support breastfeeding and recognize its advantages, I resent the fact that so many strangers and acquaintances think they should have some say in this choice. I wonder if this resentment carries over to the act itself, like the difference between giving to charity or paying taxes that are used for welfare programs. Or the difference between volunteering and doing court mandated community service?

Really. I think it's a tradition that goes back to the Stone Age that people will try and tell other people how to raise their kids. For example. I was born in 1963. My grandmother was aghast that my mother decided to breast feed. She said it was a "filthy, peasant habit."

This same grandmother also nagged my mother for months to try and get her to cram my little feet into hard shoes, actually leather soled brogues that came up above the ankles. These were to be laced very tight, so they would "mold" my feet and arches. That started when I was three months old and was supposed to make babies "walk straighter".

All of this was a crock, of course. My great-grandmother was hounded to put her daughters in corsets with hard braces up the back to "support the spine". This was to start before their second birthdays.

I don't think these things change. It used to be that people promoted mustard plasters, daily enemas, strict feeding schedules and bundling little ones up in the summer until the poor kids were drowning in sweat and panting like puppies. It's all a crock.

My Cool Niece is coming up on her first birthday. While my friend was pregnant, she was hounded by total strangers, harassed by distant acquaintances and had God knows how many articles forwarded to her about everything baby-related from breast feeding to toenail clipping. The pressure was beyond stupid.

The reasons vary, but people never change. Just tell them to get lost and listen to your pediatrician and (maybe) your Mom. All will be well, the world will continue to rotate, and the kid will be fine.