I want to point out something obvious regarding mother-daughter relationships that Prudie seems to have forgotten. Teenage girls very often are moody, rude, snappy, and (unconciously) just love to make their parents (especially mothers) unhappy. I'm 27 with a 19 year old sister so I am close enough in age myself and with my sister to remember and see the way that teen girls act. You can have faith that your daughter WILL grow out of this phase. She is going through an awkward time in her life - socially, physically, mentally, emotionally - and for whatever reason, daughters often clash with their mothers during this phase. Of course you want to help her become easier to live with during this time, but take to heart that she is a young teenager - a young FEMALE - on the verge of a very new phase of her life. The way she is acting is quite natural and she will indeed grow out of it. Just try to trust her, love her, and not jump down her throat if she doesn't act just how you like...The more you show her you trust and respect her, the more she'll come closer to you. Good luck!

This doesnt sound like something that just started in the teenage years. It sounds like something thats been going on for quite some time.

Pardon me, but as an individual whose mother spent her entire life favoring my younger sister, I can speak on this topic with some experience. Growth and time have supplied me with the maturity i require to see this with clear eyes, so I will do my best to be kind here.

To the mother who posted this message:

Has it every occurred to you that, as a result of your earliest experiences with your son (before your daughter even came along) that your connection to him precluded any POSSIBLE relationship you may have had with your daughter? Children are VERY perceptive, ma'am. They are not stupid. Your daughter more than likely picked up on your preference long before her so-called "rude" behavior began. Her animosity toward you and your husband is a DIRECT RESULT of sad attempt after sad attempt to gain your attention. She figures if she cannot be the "perfect son you already have" she will go out of her way to shift the focus ANY WAY SHE CAN. As a child who has never been the favored sibling, I did not do this. Life spent with a military man (my father) prevented me from possessing the courage to ever defy my parents. However, the days, months, and years spent at their nasty expense have cost me. I have spent a lifetime working through this, and am finally on the right track.

Please reconsider your position, and examine your own actions, dear. Before it's too late and you lose your daughter forever. Because it WILL happen if you keep fanning the flames of this favoritism. From my perspective, it's pathetic, and I shake my head in disgust toward parents who participate in this sultry, teenageism garbage. Grow up, and parent both children equally. Have a long talk with your daughter. ALONE. Just you and your husband. Ask your daughter some tough questions that let her TRULY know that you are aware of your wrongdoing. AND THEN FIX IT.

For what it's worth, I never clashed with my mother as a teen, but I did clash with my father.

Rebellious nature + Strict and overprotective dad = Head-butting

Anyway, girls do have more complicated hormones than boys do, especially in their teen years. But I agree with Josephine; the LW did say this was going on for a while, so I'm sure there's something more than teen angst.