Will be the name of the next post-modernist rock band. And that will, indeed, be sad. Lindsay has been getting caught doing coke as long as TMZ.com has been around. Still, her mother does nothing. She drinks at clubs, and her mother dances with her. She runs from one loudmouthed boy to another, all of whom talk about screwing her. She hangs with Paris Hilton, the incarnation of the word "vapid." And still, her mother does nothing.

For a while, you could cut Dina a break on the theory that she'd had a horrific marriage and was probably dealing with many issues herself. But now it appears the only issue she's dealing with is how she will survive her daughter's being more beautiful and talented than she ever was.

And yes, you jerks at E! deserve a spanking. I know that roadkill is how E pays the bills, but there's a difference between recording it and making it. Watching someone self-destruct is pathetic, and watching a child destruct is fundamentally evil. If this is ever actually broadcast, I will personally support the sort of tight-ass campaign against TV I ordinarily abhor, boycott your freakin' ridiculous shows (even though a relative edits a few of them) and put together a coalition to buy your sorry asses out and replace it with the "Fray channel."

Go get 'em, rundeep!

We're told this is a "frivolous non-story," but there is something to be said for the spectacle of potential child stars being exploited by a parent with the the conscious financial backing of a television network.

Lindsay is a sort of adult; the damage is done. But the multi-millions have also been earned, so its anything goes for LL, now. She'll make it or she won't. Anna Nicole Smith offers recent evidence that, sometimes you don't. And her E show was atrocious, too. (I saw clips.)

I couldn't access the LA Times story, but I would assume that the studios are starting to look askance at investing in Lindsay.The "Love Bug" movie was meant to be big with kids; the Jane Fonda movie, with all audiences. Both bombed, and eyes will start shifting to LL as a reason why. She's appeared in some indies and Robert Altman's last movie. Indies will always take you in, but they don't pay (big stars do them usually only if they've got big paychecks coming in from elsewhere, and Oscar is a possibility.)

LL is attractive, in a unique way. It looks like she can act, which we do value in our movie stars.

But it looks like "cautionary tale" time, and Mama Dina gets to join the ranks of ...the rank. There's a lot of them in Hollywood. Of course, the jailbird dad is no prize either.

I have (with younger relatives.) You're right. Of all the current "pop tart" screw-ups, she's the one with some talent.

On the other hand, those weren't exactly Shakespeare or O'Neill.