Is anyone else tired of these awful letters where people write they are in love with the PERFECT person EXCEPT... I find it annoying. None of us are perfect and I think some people to grow up and realize this. If you can't live with the imperfection you have found, then move on. Why ask a stranger what to do with your personal life ?

If there are things (or one thing) that you do not like about the person - only YOU have the ability to decide what you can or cannot tolerate...

I kinda know what you mean. I love my boyfriend. He does some things that annoy me (and I know I do things that annoy him) but I would never change them, because they're part of what makes him the man I love.

Now, I know there are situations (like addictions) where you can't live with the problem but still love the person. That is the only occasion when you can ask them to change.

No, I think you can always ask someone to change. What you cannot do, however, is always expect that they will comply. You can ask; they can refuse; you need to decide if it's a deal breaker.

Before we got married, one of the things we discussed was that I would not have a smoker living in the same house as my small children. It was non-negotiable. He chose to quit smoking. If he had continued to smoke, we'd probably have remained friends, as we'd been friends for years, but we would not have gotten married.

Well smoking is an addiction. And you had a valid reason telling him where you stood.

I'm talking about the people who want the person they love to change things that make them who they are.