Wow-

didn't even get to letter 2 and felt the need to write. The terrible 2 letter hit me like a brick to the gut. I am a working mom with a stay at home hubby and have been fighting with the same feeling as the writer of the letter. I have been feeling like a horrible mother and wife. Thank you Prudie for the wonderful suggestions on how to spend time with my little one with being overwhelmed after a day at the office. I am going to try variations on your suggestions tonight! I must admit, it is a relief to know that I am not the only one who had these feelings. That gives me hope that I can deal with them and give my child happy memories.

Too late, Pakrat ! The DP community has already collectively decided that you are without doubt the scum of the Earth. Being a woman, however, you are possibly not beyond redemption.

that people think they should be fully entertained by a two year old in the first place. this idea that you are supposed to have fun with kids is a modern concept. as recently as 50 years back, many were still towing the "seen and not heard" line. i think it says something about a person's mentality if they are fully enthralled by a two year old. either they are just revelling in an excuse to go back and relive childhood innocence (which not all of us need a two year old to do) or they just find that the two year old is just the right amount of intellectual stimulation for them. (a lot of folks are more than happy not thinking. and there's the answer to your question about why people vote republican!)

There's a few out there who weren't completely ready to tar and feather LW #1 just yet.

I've got a 2-year-old myself now, so I'm also going through this a bit (also a full-time working lady with SAH husband.)

2-year-olds are difficult to deal with, but there's a lot of good parts to it, too. I love it that my son now notices when I'm gone and he always gets really excited and runs to the window when I come home from work--it's really become the highlight of my day!

As far as what to do with him, I haven't found that it's that hard to have fun with him. He likes his Legos and we build stuff together, and sometimes I'll get out a big pad of newsprint so we can draw. (Personally, I think it is possible for a toddler to entertain an adult--at least mine is endlessly entertaining because he's brilliant and innately gifted, but then I'm a bit biased : )

Kids also get better with entertaining themselves as they get older, so it's not like you have to be right there "stimulating" them all the time.

I also usually take him out with me on the weekend to run errands. He seems to have fun with that, and it gives my husband a break, too.

It doesn't have to be a major chore if you don't let it become one!

My kids are grown now, so I don't remember all the numbers, but aren't kids 3 or 4 before they play "with" someone instead of "next to" someone, anyway?

deduction:

as recently as 50 years back, many were still towing the "seen and not heard" line.

50 years back? My father lives by that rule. I think he used it on my 22-year-old sister a few weeks ago.

In my house, the 'terrible twos' usually entails a dash to the bathroom and a change of underwear.

It's generally thought that this applies more to them playing with other children, I play WITH my one and two year olds. Even something as simple as pointing things out to them "look at the bird" "listen to that big airplane" are enough for a little one, they just need the interaction.

Well I think in all fairness most people are going to find an age where they can't interact with a child very well.

For me, it's babies... every other woman is going all ga-ga and I just can't see what's so great about a little poop machine.

For many it's teenagers.

I think this man's greatest problem is that he feels he needs to keep her occupied and entertained in high activity ways (egg hunts?) all the time. What's wrong with reading a 2 year old a book? Children are highly entertained by noises and different voices but if you are uncomfortable doing that, just read... in the end all they want is attention.
Colour with the child... find something that interests you both and go with that.

My dad could take my sister to work at 2 and put her on his lap, do work while she coloured, and make approving comments every few minutes. She was happy.

Your child just wants to be near you and feel that you love her.... she doesn't need 100% time commitment from you.

Eh, Just Do what my parents did: pop out another kid and get a puppy.

Problem solved. Next?

I just dont't understand these selfish parents.

I am in my late 50's and 5 yrs ago our grandaughter was in need of us and ultimately came to live with us at age 7. We both had raised our kids and sent them on their ways and were pretty much used to being alone. But when the time came to assist we stepped up without hesitation and began anew raising our grandaughter.

We both have demanding jobs that require a lot of hours, but when we are at home our attention goes to the little girl (who is now 12). Without hesitation and without reservation. She is the most important thing in our house. Sure there are times where a couple hours of quiet time would be nice but how can a parent think that their child is a burden?? Wht did they bother to have children in the first place? I just don't get it.;

I am in the same boat although I am slightly older than the writer ( I am 56). My daughter will be three in October. Some days it is a chore dealing with her. But most days it is a joy. She is what keeps me young and I enjoy each minute that we spend together. My wife is ill and stays at home evvery day and I take her to the sitter and pick her up. When she is sitting in the back of my vehicle if she hears a familiar song (I play The Temptations alot) she sings along fumbling over the words from time to time. Some days I am really tired after supervising juvenile offenders and really need to come home and just lay out. However, It's not just about me. There is a young mind that needs to be nurtuted and I just have to deal with my relaxation later and give her the time she needs now. It may not seem like it, but your child will remember this time as she gets older and will make your relationship that much more special.