I wonder why you never pay me any attention. I am your Reader - your Audience, the one you play to, perform for. And I, the hundreds of I's here, have been writing to you as you knit, spin, weave on XX Factor in you collective sewing circle. All we get to see ever are the blogposts, the articles, the shows. We've never got a peek behind the camera - or the computer. We've been sitting here, all wondering WHY and HOW y'all write the way you do.

Honestly, this is not a XX Factor-bashing or Dahlia-beating post. This is to truly understand WHY you women feel so truly bitter, so vitriolic, in your hatred for Hillary? I've literally felt tears spring to my eyes when I read your columns, of sadness, of anger, of utter helplessness - day in and day out. And yet I cannot just walk away from a group of what I believe to be intelligent women without trying my best, my absolute, complete best, to understand and empathise and see your point of view.

I'm not going to try giving examples of the work I'm more curious about, I don't really want a back story for why you called Hillary 'shrill' (February 6), or defended 'pimping out' as a euphemism (February 12), or started defending her out of deep pity each time she was close to losing (NH, Texas/Ohio, etc.). No, really, not those.

But I'm curious about it all. Overall. What is it? I don't buy anymore that you're just projecting your own lives, your failures. You're fairly successful women (I speak for all of XX Factor).

And why is there no attempt, even, at being analytical or rational, stating facts and drawing inferences? Your work here is more deep, visceral than any attempt at rationality would be. I don't mind that, but as you so perceptively wrote, the gaze has turned on itself - the object lies forgotten, the painter is self-painting.

Is it, like Maureen Dowd, that you have a crush on Obama so strong and so irrational that you need to do what psychologists call 'splitting' - hate someone else equally irrationally, so that your brain can be convinced that it is somewhat balanced?

Or is it that you secretly LOVE Hilary, and like six-year-olds at a playground, not know how to express your love and fear rejection and so you try to hurt her to get her attention?

Who are you women? As someone asked on this same Fray, "you sound as if you are trying to make sure all the boys still like you 'See, we hate her, too, and everything she does'" Is it really just that? A popularity contest, a play for a Saturday night date?

contd...

You said you liked how Tina Fey dealt with the misogyny saying 'yeah well, she's a bitch, deal with it'. Is it that you're embarrassed by feminism (all feminism is 'shrill' and there cant be any that's inspiring anymore), and so you will only accept feminism when it is handed out with humor and sarcasm? Because you know, sarcasm is supposedly a coping mechanism - a means of expressing aggression toward others and insecurity about oneself. Hey, I loved Tina Fey too, but then I love all feminism - so Dahlia, I don't understand when someone applauds Tina and not Robin or Gloria - who said the exact same thing, but sans humor, spoke out of the deepest passions of their heart.

You said today "One of the most laudable things about Obama is that he always elects to rise above the politics of victimization. One of the most troubling things about Hillary Clinton is that she is never above cashing in on it" - and you've also supplied the reason for it "America only applauds her when she's at the receiving end of oppression". As any human being knows - even an infant, really - we become what we are rewarded for. If your second sentence is true (and yes, it is, I do see here right here in your articles), is it any wonder that the first happens?

We see it today with Obama - after his supposedly great, but actually ripped-off-Bill-Clinton speech (a speech Bill gave thirteen years ago: <link> you herald him for the greatest speech ever given on race. But you forget, oh, how you forget, the great, globally inspiring speech Hillary DID give on gender (http://democracyforum.blogspo­t.com/2007/05/hillarys-beijing­-speech.html), which was not just for a political campaign, but which made women around the world, non-American, non-white, non-First Ladies, women working on construction sites in India (where I was then), living on less than a dollar a day cry out 'thank god she said that - a President's wife actually feels that way? God Bless her, and I do hope someone listens to her'.

Help me understand, Dahlia.

the editorial pick selections, but then Slate/Fray editors do not have that kind of intestinal fortitude. It's a pity, but there you have it. Excellent writing and spot on commentary and analysis.