Telling someone they shouldn't breed? Where the heck does this happen? I've been places where there are multiple kids acting up, but the most I've ever seen is muttering and casting pained looks at the parents--never once have I seen someone telling a complete stranger to spank their kid, or that they shouldn't have any kids, or that they're terrible parents, etc (even when they may have deserved it.) Is this a regional thing? (I do live in the Midwest, after all. This is right near Minnesota--"where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes.")

Could Prudie let us know where LW #3 is from, so I know never to move there?

(Incidentally, I'm the oldest of 4 sisters, and we did get funny comments when we went out as a family. What bugged me the most, though, was when guys told my dad that they "felt sorry for him" because he was "outnumbered".)

We live in Texas. Our son has developmental delays, and would run when upset. Therefore, we kept him on a wrist leash for years. Once at the mall, he crawled under a display and wouldn't come out, so my husband tugged on the leash to drag him out. A total stranger said, "If you have to drag him, it's time to take him home." Another couple conmented once when it was time for his medication (an anti-seizural) and we handed it to him in public, about how kids shouldn't be medicated. So yeah, people do butt in and make rude remarks. There probably have been others but by then I had learned not to let it bother me.

Strangers can be downright rude and crazy. When carrying my neice in a sling, a perfect stranger came over to me and pulled the fabric aside - grazing my breast as she did it. She said "oh I just want to make sure the baby is not suffocating in there."

I simply cannot believe the nerve of people sometimes.

TheladyJ:

When carrying my neice in a sling, a perfect stranger came over to me and pulled the fabric aside - grazing my breast as she did it. She said "oh I just want to make sure the baby is not suffocating in there."

There are so many available rude comebacks I can think of, but none of them really justify a total stranger's complete absence of common sense and acceptable behavior.

Sheez.

although i have never said it to anyones face i have commented to my boyfriend (who shares the same opinion) that people who have a lot of children are indeed a drain on the worlds resources. this is something that can not be denied. we are all a drain. this has changed my opinion on having children of my own and has pushed me even closer to the idea of adoption. there is NO reason someone should be so selfish as to add that many more children/human beings to this already over populated planet. so yes people DO actually say THAT.

in the words of one of my favorite bumper stickers, "save the world, kill your self"!

Wow... it might be best if you didn't procreate...

And no... I don't want to get into a discussion argument about population control... we had one of those several months ago...

Now THAT was draining...

Actually yes and I am guilty of it.

It is my knee jerked response to the parents of children who are so ill behaved that they are like tiny domestic terrorists on the public at large. I am tired of children running around unsupervised in markets, clothing stores, restaurants and theatres. If the parents truly cared for their children they would make sure they had the least amount of impact on other's uses of public and semi-public spaces.

If I could get my children on here you could ask them if I tolerated that behavior at all. You will find I have walked out of the market with a full cart of food apologising the the manager for the foul way they had behaved, restaurants before food was served, I never took them to adult theatre until they were able to sit still for a full 2.5 hours etc. If I can manage two...the LW has three? I seriously agree with the prevailing wisdom that the LW has blinders on to how badly behaved her children actually are. I never bother to call attention to those who chose to have more than two that actually could behave in society.

Heleva:

It is my knee jerked response to the parents of children who are so ill behaved that they are like tiny domestic terrorists on the public at large. I am tired of children running around unsupervised in markets, clothing stores, restaurants and theatres. If the parents truly cared for their children they would make sure they had the least amount of impact on other's uses of public and semi-public spaces.

Oh... so completely true on that account...

There's very little that's more maddening than trying to sidestep other peoples' kids flying about when the parents couldn't give a rat's ass...

My kids are grown but they still laugh about "the face," apparently it was the expression that meant death would be forthcoming if you do/say/express one more thing.

It reminds me of Bill Cosby's routine where the kids are running rampant through the house and his wife's voice changes tone as she bellows, "The beatings will now commence!"

Working Theatre and Opera when my Mum was alive (her profession) I learned the "voice". The one that makes you sound like all the deities in the universe have just manifested and the kids are now about to be damned. It isn't a foul language voice it is a wrath of g_d delivery that is just right in the hearing register to not be too low, loud or high. I made some adults jump

Okay, you seriously made me snort... Love "the voice"...

Most of the time, yes, but at times HELL No!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Years ago, before the good childproof lids came out. I was waiting at the pharmacy, the lady in front of me had set her toddler down so she can do her transaction. The toddler wondered over to a shelf of pain relievers, grab a bottle & opened the lid. I looked at the mom, she was clueless about what was going on, so I went over & asked the toddler for the bottle, she gave it to me. Boy did I get bitched out by the mom.

Another time we were at the park, running towards the road was a small 2-3 year old boy, a girl 6-7 was chasing him, had hubby not ran after the little boy, he would have went straight into traffic. Mom & dad had no clue where their kids were.

Last year, 4th of July fireworks. SIL noticed a small boy standing by himself, crying. The boy was too young to say who he was or where mommy was. We found a police officer, he was able to find mom & dad. Dad started yelling at a young girl about not watching her baby brother. The cop jumped dads shit for putting that kind of responsibility on a young kid. If SIL had not noticed this little boy, no telling who would have snatched him up.

I could never stand by & let a child get hurt. If mom & dad won't do anything about it, I sure will. I will not make snide comments, but if a child is not being watched, I will step in.

Really? The real threats to the planet are families, children and traditional punctuation? The evil genius of it. Playing on the vulnerability of those who feel the correct moral position for them is to feel guilty for being alive. I'm not swallowing this Kool-aid. Thanks.

Heleva, you said the word I was thinking about all day yesterday regarding this mom and kids and it's IMPACT.

The mom says her kids are well-behaved but when I was reading that letter I immediately thought of those families (and you know who you are) whose carriage upon entering a room says, "Look at us, look how we've procreated on such a mighty scale". They wear flashing sneakers and michelin man puffy coats (that they must all remove with exagerrated arm whirls) and have all manner of clicky-clacky geegaws pinned to them. Or they have a toy along to occupy them (and if you're lucky, it's a quiet one). There's a lot of sotto voce "shushing" and playing to the captive house, like the fact that they've told them 50 times to be quiet qualifies as "good behavior". These types seem to take up about twice as much space as other people and their impact is greater. I've read another poster say this same thing: these are the same people that get just as pissed at you if you don't acknowledge the fruit of their loins. Nobody who has children doesn't want people to notice them and think they're cute so don't bother trying to convince us otherwise.

It's like my grandma said, if someone tells you something once, take it with a grain of salt. If two people tell you the same thing, take it as coincidence. If three people tell you the same thing, listen. If this mother keeps getting comments about her "brood" or her "crowd" or her "bunch" maybe she should think about that. Maybe her "pack" gives the impression that there are more of them than there are; maybe the impact of her family is out of proportion. Maybe people are suggesting she eliminate one of them to lessen the impact.

Oh, my gosh, did my mom have a look (it was usually accompanied by a finger--when pointed at you directly it indicated you'd be meeting certain doom).

She and my dad used to sing in the church choir when my sister and I were little. My sister and I would have to sit by ourselves in the pews but she could watch us from the choir loft. During one church service my sister and I were messing around and Mom caught us and gave us "the look" (and "the point") from the choir loft, and danged if that whole side of church didn't immediately sit up straight!

Oh, I forgot something.

In addition to The Look and The Voice, my son would also tell you that I have The Eyes In The Back Of My Head that allowed me to see everything he was doing.