Not being able to write your own thank-you notes is the epitome of rudeness, selfishness, and ungratefulness. Think about it: people, who are sometimes little more than complete strangers, bring you gifts because they love you or more frequently love your parents or your to-be's family. With these gifts you fill (or replace, depending on your age at marriage and life situation) nearly everything in your house, and all that you need to do is acknowledge their gift with a simple, handwritten, "thank-you." I distinctly remember being so stunned at folks' generosity that I felt a single "thank-you" note was hardly adequate. My husband and I got married fresh out of college and would have had nothing - my head spins when I look around our home and kitchen and imagine it without our lovely wedding gifts. I still frequently send short emails to friends and relatives to say "I thought of you this morning when I made waffles in our waffle iron."

To not be able to address - or even in worse cases write, such as couples who pass out typed scrolls at the gift table reading "thank you so much" - a simple thank you note to show gratitude shows that you actually have none, and that you see the gifts as merely your due for giving your guests the privilege of attending your showers or wedding. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

You read a lot into situations, don't you? When somebody crosses the street, and looks at you a certain way, do you imagine a whole life story behind it? :P

The fact that she didn't address her own envelopes may be tacky, I'll grant you that, but I wouldn't go so far as saying that she's regarding those gifts as getting her "due."

She still has the opportunity to write a really thoughtful thank you note, to show her gratitude even after the party. The address is a minor detail in comparison.

I can speak up from personal experience. At my surprise bridal shower last year I found out that my guests had been asked to bring self adressed stamped envelopes. I was absolutely mortified. I could not believe my friends and mother thought this was a good thing to request of my guests.

I cannot imagine a bride thinking this is an acceptable practice - but more that it comes from those that love the bride and are perhaps trying to help???

I used the envelopes (naturally), but I also put a stamp back in each envelope and jokingly proclaimed that the wedding had not bankrupted me and I was certainly able to still afford postage. I also stated that while the wedding planning was certainly keeping me busy, I still had enough time to express my heartfelt thanks to those who wanted to share in the happiness of my special day.

So, go easy on the bride. This may not be her request, but the request of a well-meaning mom and maid of honor that are just trying to help.

I think just about everyone who has a poor comment for this particular question read far to in to it... Thanks, but no Thanks, said that the bride only asked for a pre-addressed envelope not to pre-write the note its self or to even bring one. I feel sorry for this bride who obviously was to self centered to think that her closest friends and family could take a moment to write their own address on an envelope or just adhere an address sticker. Yeesh, are we that truly stuck up people?

True, true - I have had a LOT of personal experience with bridezillas who act like they are above showing gratitude, so it colors my perspective. Such a request is certainly not neccesarily made by the bride herself, although I have party to situations in which it was. For my part, when I wanted to help out a bride for whom I threw a shower, I personally addressed (and return-addressed and stamped) the envelopes for her thank-you notes ahead of time as part of my hostess gifts and enclosed them with the gift list from the shower.

gamama - thanks for reminding me. I think that is a very great thing you did by addressing all the envelopes and keeping the gift list. I expressed a similar sentiment to my mother after the affair - that if she had really wanted to help out she could have addressed the envelopes herself instead of requesting my guests do it.

Still, I don't think a request like this is a sign of malintent or selfishness. Sometimes when we think "hey this would be easist", we sometimes forget it may not be the most proper thing.