My parents, aged 80 and 75, are, on what would otherwise have been a generous retirement income , supporting seven people. Themselves, of course, plus my 33-year-old cousin and her four--count em, FOUR--out of wedlock children, ages 16, 14, 6, and 5. The 33-year-old is scarred from growing up in the aforementioned "high conflict" violent, abusive home. I'm convinced she's one of those terrifying narcissistic personality disorder people. But she won't get therapy, get her act together, or get out of my parents' house. And they're too attached to the children, too codependent, too ... who knows? to make her. Perhaps this is my fault. My first marriage produced no children and I've never remarried. Nor have I ever considered having a child -- with anyone -- out of wedlock. But watching the way the children are suffering under the screaming maniac that they have to call mother, then watching the way my parents' entire financial and emotional security is being jeopardized, and then watching Juno... well, it made me want to scream. I was so offended by that movie--so furious that it made teen pregnancy into a cute quip-filled fairy tale. My parents ended up as legal guardians of the oldest child because her then-16-year-old mother threw her across the room. It was just a miracle my uncle caught her. Make up a quip about that, Juno.

And a man who would stay with such a woman would be better?

What would an equally unstable male bring to the picture? Another mouth to feed for your poor parents? I don't see how her being married has much to do with it. If you're suggesting that STABLE parents are more desirable, I agree. But marriage is not synonymous with stable, loving, capable, or educated.

Okay, I'm not much of a Prudie fan, but when I read this article, I don't see it saying women should marry inadequate men just to have a husband for their bastards.

You can solve the problem of unwed mothers one of two ways--make them wed mothers or ENCOURAGE THEM TO NOT BE MOTHERS AT ALL!!!!

Obviously, the cousin mentioned above is an example of a women who should not be a mother. She has significant emotional maturity and relationship issues. No, having her marry the jerk who would knock up such a problematic woman would not solve her problems. But her pattern of getting knocked up and then handing off her brats to this older couple isn't solving her problems either.

To my mind, a marriage is nothing more than a contract. "We now own everything jointly and will take care of each other and any children. To break this agreement will require a deliberate effort and we place the power to seperate our assets in the hands of the court." Anyone who isn't willing to make that kind of committment to another adult, either at the courthouse or at the altar, is not a person ready to be a parent and commit their lives to a child. Male or female.

No man would stay with this woman who had a brain in his head and two legs to walk on. My point was that this woman, though an extreme example, is much closer to the reality than Juno.

ASlyJD wrote: "You can solve the problem of unwed mothers one of two ways--make them wed mothers or ENCOURAGE THEM TO NOT BE MOTHERS AT ALL!!!!"

You have it backwards. We shouls encourage them to marry and if that doesn't happen, ensure that they don't have any further children until they can support them without state aid.