Dear Prudence

Re: The food bank in our old town

Heleva — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:39:07 GMT

Option C - the guy is a part of the criminal class and chooses to beg as a profession. Something that is indicative of a large majority of homeless in our area.

Re: The food bank in our old town

Miss Kee — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:33:19 GMT

Maybe he doesnt need food. How do you know he doesnt go to food banks already? Maybe he needs to pay his rent or his elecricity bill or his heating bill or his pharmacy bill or maybe he is just a crack head. Social programs do not take care of everything and everyone. If they did there would be no homeless or hungry.

Re: Giving to beggars

lucylou — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 20:31:48 GMT

My brother was in a homeless state for a time when he was estranged from our family. We are now back together and both work at the same company. We see beggars on the corner nearly every day coming back and forth to work. This comes from the mouth of someone that's been there....do not give them money! If they say theyre hungry, buy them some food or better yet, offer the directions to the nearest shelter. Do not give them a ride!!! If they made it by walking off the interstate and to that street corner, they can walk to the shelter. Or ask a police officer to give them some help. Under no circumstances should you give them money (usually spend little on food and mainly for booze) and don't give them a ride. Even someone with kids along would be thinking more about getting help for the kids then to just be begging for food money. Also.some businesses would actually pay them or help them out with a room and food if they would only ask for a day job. Pull weeds, gather grocery carts, paint an out building, etc. Check these people out...are they the same ones on your street corner and next week theyre on a different one? Theyre not desperate to move on...theyre career beggars and have no intention of bettering themselves. The ones that want to change their situation are the ones asking you for help to a shelter or church. If I sound harsh, so be it....my brother saw it all when he was homeless and if he says don't give them money...I think he know what he's saying.

Re: Giving to beggars

IncogNeato — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 10:37:28 GMT

Good answer!

Re: Giving to beggars

vivi — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 08:55:56 GMT

The money isn't the issue. Either the guy is on the level or he's not. What's criminal is the way he's using a couple of kids as a bargaining chip. You have no idea how that screws up a kid's head, but I do. When I was little, too young to go to school or kindergarten, my parents would hide in the back room and tell me to answer the door when the landlady came for the rent and tell her my parents weren't home. So I learned that it's okay to use the people closest to you, lying is a good way to get out of a jam, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks as long as you get what you want, and to get other people to do your dirty work for you when you can. This made for stellar family and personal relationships later in life, I assure you. I'm amazed my parents were so careless or dumb that they couldn't just have left the door unanswered instead of risking their children being put into foster care. It doesn't matter if this guy needed money or not, he's a creep.

Re: The food bank in our old town

Thomas Paine — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 23:38:34 GMT

cgriley:
It's my business in the world to act as my conscience dictates, not to judge others. There is no way to know what another's situation is-we simply are not equiped with that sort of "radar". I have given and felt foolish later, given and felt good about it later, not given and felt guilty and not given and felt justified. Trust your gut feeling and go for it.

Nicely put. Speaking for myself, I am sometimes give and sometimes not, but, while I am certain I have been taken for a sucker many times, I have never felt foolish as a result. I figure that if someone abuses my good will, that is their karma, not mine.

Re: The food bank in our old town

cgriley — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 22:57:27 GMT

It's my business in the world to act as my conscience dictates, not to judge others. There is no way to know what another's situation is-we simply are not equiped with that sort of "radar". I have given and felt foolish later, given and felt good about it later, not given and felt guilty and not given and felt justified. Trust your gut feeling and go for it.

Re: Giving to beggars

borrowedatoms — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 23:14:10 GMT

I pay enough in taxes to fund the safety net that is in place to assist real down on their luck people. People who beg on the streets are lazy and posses an enormous arrogance and entitlement. How could they not while expecting others to pay and reward them for choosing not work a regular job. It's grass roots socialism.

Re: Giving to beggars

MessyONE — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 18:39:27 GMT

I had to admire the sheer chutzpah of a kid that used to beg in Toronto in the late 80s. Whenever someone walked past, he'd say, "Got any money for a brain-dead punk?"

I did see people give him money, and by the looks of him, it went directly in his arm, but gave him credit for originality.

Re: Giving to beggars

Heleva — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 16:31:30 GMT

My policy is never give money.

If they want assisstance I offer to direct them to the nearest services. If they want food or water I get them some food or water if I feel the need is legitimate.

Around Mordor of the Mojave/Sin City where I am now, most have signs that say "Why lie I need a beer" They get nothing from me regardless of their frankness.

Re: Giving to beggars

Saadia — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 16:25:21 GMT

Just about a month ago, I was stopped at a resturant to order some food and I had a similar incident except that the old guy was alone. He didnt have any kids with him. He did not speak anything, just told me in 'sign' language that he was hungry and needed food. I gave him 20 bucks in local currency which was enough to buy one time meal for him. Although, after that I didnt see him going to the resturant. Instead he walked away like he didnt wanna buy food with it. I guess maybe he had already eaten and was coming from the resturant. But from his appearance, he did look like a 'needy' fellow, not a cheat.

Re: Giving to beggars

Cooltruth — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 11:52:44 GMT

The old man may be living on a 'fixed' income or have debts he can't afford to pay such as rent. Back when I rented, the rents went up on a regular basis. We really don't know what he needed the money for. That said, I doubt that I'd give him $20.00 if he is begging money in some fast food place, going from one customer to the next! That old boy would've been lucky if I'd come up off a $5.00 bill for his mooching self...

The food bank in our old town

IncogNeato — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 11:46:36 GMT

had a sign on the wall:

"If you can afford cigarettes, you don't need our help."

We had a garden when we lived there, which produced more than even our friends and relatives could eat, so we took much of it to the food bank. We let them figure out who was most in need.

I've been a step away from living on the street, and never felt compelled to stand on the street begging for handouts, and certainly not with my kids in tow. When you help them in that way, if they are genuinely needy, you reinforce the message that they are powerless and unable to help themselves. Even walking into a foodbank and requesting a bag of groceries is a positive step someone can make toward regaining their independence and self-esteem, especially since most of those places can connect the needy with organizations designed to help them get back on their feet.

What rosy-hued planet are you from?

MessyONE — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 11:38:06 GMT

There's a reason this man was begging on the street, and it wasn't to support those kids (who may not even have been any connection to him).

If he's homeless, there are shelters. Of course most demand that the residents be sober..

If he's concerned about the kids, then why aren't they in foster care and where the heck are their parents? (And please don't spout me any nonsense about how rotten foster care is. Is it worse than begging on the street with a thief and con-man?)

Not all strangers are safe, stupid! Or do we have to start all over with "Good Touch, Bad Touch" to get that through to you?

The long and the short of it is that the man is a rip-off artist and the LW really should feel like a bit of an idiot right now. If it's "Godly" to give, then give to the church and let them take care of the rest. I guarantee that a charity will make better use of the money.

Re: Giving to beggars

Mujokan — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 09:47:40 GMT

Recognizing true desperation in beggars is a talent one can develop. Go to the Third World for a master class.

Personally I'll err on the side of leniency. Noblesse oblige and all that.