Dear Prudence

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

bagelwoman — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:31:57 GMT

"I think everybody here handled this thread very badly."

Really? I found the whole thing pretty funny, actually. Bring out the popcorn!

Suite Caroline

kati — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:30:48 GMT

I got it! Sweet Caroline, in spite of her/his etiologically hysterical name (or a bad pun), is actually a sweet self effacing hermaphrodite (I always had a weakness for hermaphrodites) who found a forum to let out steam... I doubt that she/he is a lawyer, but you never know....

Suite Caroline, please let your binary nature show. I'm afraid you must have been victim of bullies and so are taking revenge anonymously on all cyber comers. You don't have to do that, you know..... You can join a spirited conversation and have fun like the rest of us dummies!

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

dumb_blonde — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 17:37:12 GMT

Couple things I've learned about the internet.

When someone toots their own horn, tries to impress people by their position, education, intellegance, career or social standing & acts superior over everyone, is that they are usually liars, in a dead-end job/sucky life & has self esteem issues.

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

YannyX — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:54:53 GMT

4. lacking culture, refinement, tact, etc.: crude behavior.

5. undisguised; blunt: a crude answer.

I believe your response about saving a man that "raped and murdered a bus full of nuns" lacks culture, refinement and most definitely lacks tact. Your response is also very blunt. So yes, it is far more crude than "cocksucker" or anything the people here or most anywhere is used to. Even though I have no problems with crude comments for rude people. That was my point.

With that comment it makes me wonder if you trully do have the intelligence to back up your arrogance when it appears you do not understand the simple definition of one of the most commonly used words in the english dictionary. Especially when vocabulary is one of my weaknesses.

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

Tarquin Machismo — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:24:29 GMT

is "have you ever posted to an internet forum?" then you either have to perjure yourself, or else reveal the whole breathtaking range of your stupidity before we decide whether or not we want you on our jury. just a little something for you to think about before you hit the "post" button is whether your comment might, at some time in the future, get a defender, a prosecutor and a judge all together in leading the rest of the courtroom in laughing at you.

Here's hoping for some big laughs from the judge. If it gets me thrown off the jury, alls well and good, because i couldn't think of a less enjoyable and inefficient waste of fucking time than jury service. I've only spent time in the antiquated arena of a British court but if it's anything like the American system then i'd rather sit at home and watch Law & Order again.

As it happens, i think you're doing a valuable job as it seems to me that the rich in America seem well able to buy their way out of trouble and your juries are chock-a-bloc with casual racism (as opposed to my well-thought out racism). My only gripe is that you are a bit of a blowhard. You can charm the panties off an American jury, no doubt, but my knickers are still firmly affixed to my buttocks.

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

Suite Caroline — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:09:59 GMT

yanny, you seem like a nice person, but also a confused person. you called me "crude", yet you gave a pass to the person who called me a "cocksucker". do you even know what "crude" means? you're right about the arrogance though, all the good lawyers i know are arrogant, and when it comes up, i tell people "the occasional perception of arrogance is the price of personal excellence."

stupidity flourishes here, witness intersurfa above "catching the rapist on video is a quid pro quo, and a lawyer should not get the perp off because of a technicality. justice does involve ethics." i'll forgive him for misusing "quid pro quo" (what, exactly, was exchanged for that video?) because latin is a difficult language, but not for the rest of it. all the ethics i need are in the canons of legal ethics, which every lawyer must study before being admitted to the bar, and i must know a little something about them, considering that i've been exonerated every single time after each of my (numerous) state bar investigations. first chair at the defense counsel table is not like a church pew, it is no place for self-righteousness or public piety (i leave those to the prosecutor). my clients don't pay me big bucks for me to remain in a moral and legal comfort zone, to sermonize to them or supply additional ethics outside the canons to the situation, they pay me to win the case, that's all, and the only downside to winning on a technicality is that i don't get to bill any more hours in the file.

we're building a potentially useful record here, so i invite any additional detractors who may be lurking to step up. a standard question in voir dire (jury selection) is "have you ever posted to an internet forum?" then you either have to perjure yourself, or else reveal the whole breathtaking range of your stupidity before we decide whether or not we want you on our jury. just a little something for you to think about before you hit the "post" button is whether your comment might, at some time in the future, get a defender, a prosecutor and a judge all together in leading the rest of the courtroom in laughing at you.

this will be my last word on this issue, best wishes to tarquin, intersurfa and all the rest of you. stay out of trouble, i have more business than i can handle.

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

YannyX — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 18:31:54 GMT

Like Messy I thought the OP gave a perfectly good response. Some people prefer to be witty in order to keep things nice and others prefer to shock the living hell out of rude people and move on. It's safe to say however that the OP might have trouble fitting here...or anywhere for that matter.

I remember a while back when Prudy got a letter from someone asking for a response to those annoying people that yelled out "SMILE!" to anyone they thought was scowling. There were plenty of shocking responses given by people here on the Fray, even from the regulars and they were all applauded.

The only two differences here I believe is that the OP is new and that his response was a bit more crude than the people here are used to. It could also be that the fraysters recognized his arrogance. Something that became apparent to me in his subsequent posts.

I think everybody here handled this thread very badly. Maybe we can start over?

Just thought I'd give my opinion.

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

Tarquin Machismo — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 12:33:28 GMT

tarquin machismo, natural comics never brag about their sense of humor, and they go light on the obscene epithets, but answer me one thing: 10th avenue *where*?

All i can tell you is that the cops have been up and down here 10 times tonight and i ain't getting any business even i'm wearing my pvc miniskirt and harlequin stockings.

OJ got off...

intersurfa — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 12:10:37 GMT

....because the proscecution was as incompetent as this suite caroline ego tripper.

creating reasonable doubt is all the defense had to do. they did it. the proscecution didn't put an eyewitness on the stand that could have placed OJ near the scene of the crime, and removed reasonable doubt.. why? because she had less then a sterling reputation. The proscecution tart and her token side kick had about as much depth as this suite caroline lawyer, who thinks it's all about a popularity contest.

catching a rapist on video is a quid pro quo, and a lawyer should not get the perp off because of a technicality. justice does involve ehtics.

as far as a sense of humor goes, i haven't seen suite use it. tarqui seems to have a monopoly on that supply.

Re: Missing the point is their metier.

Lovethedoggies — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 02:55:06 GMT

Tarquin Machismo:
I think i have as much if not more of a sense of humour than anyone else here and what "Suite"Caroline's posts demonstrated was merely the desire to impress and show-off above any other qualities, hence his ham-fisted and inarticulate attempt to belittle DB. He's not funny and he's probably as well-acquainted with ethical considerations as a 10th Ave cocksucker.

What he said. I recognized the satire, but didn't find it funny, so I decided to respond in satire back to try and salvage something?

I guess I lack intelligence. :/

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

MistPanther — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 01:15:23 GMT

Suite Caroline:
your sentence structure needs a little work.

From someone who cannot figure out capital letters. Kettle meet pot.

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

Pogue Mahone — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 22:57:07 GMT

Suite Caroline:

unless you can come up with a shorter word than "eponysterical" which means exactly the same thing, your objection is overruled. i occasionally make up new words, and there can be big money in this when they're formed into url's, as i have discovered.

If we're just making up words, then any random collection of letters that includes a vowel and has less than 13 letters will suffice.

Re: even better conversational jujitsu (real lawyer here)

Suite Caroline — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 22:17:40 GMT

unless you can come up with a shorter word than "eponysterical" which means exactly the same thing, your objection is overruled. i occasionally make up new words, and there can be big money in this when they're formed into url's, as i have discovered.

tarquin machismo, natural comics never brag about their sense of humor, and they go light on the obscene epithets, but answer me one thing: 10th avenue *where*?

quietwife, i can put on a dress if you like.

i have a guest over now, so i'm not sure if i'll be allowed to return this afternoon.

Re: Missing the point is their metier.

quietwife — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 21:44:26 GMT

I liked him better as a girl.

Good opening post, though.

Re: Missing the point is their metier.

Tarquin Machismo — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 21:22:53 GMT

I think i have as much if not more of a sense of humour than anyone else here and what "Suite"Caroline's posts demonstrated was merely the desire to impress and show-off above any other qualities, hence his ham-fisted and inarticulate attempt to belittle DB. He's not funny and he's probably as well-acquainted with ethical considerations as a 10th Ave cocksucker.