Dear Prudence

Re: Pregnant women's bellies

Tarquin Machismo — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 09:32:34 GMT

This is often just a ploy by fat women to get men to touch them. Watch out if they ask you to shout into their crotch so "the baby can hear your voice".

Re: Pregnant women's bellies

Pogue Mahone — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 03:53:34 GMT

hurshy:
So, I'm reading the archives and hope people don't mind if I bring up old questions... An expectant mother didn't like acquaintances touching her belly. Didn't surprise me at all, a natural way to feel, I thought. Prudie's response did surprise me. One sentence said "sure, you shouldn't have to be touched if you don't want to be", but the entire rest of the paragraph encouraged her to try to see it differently to accommodate the rest of the world. If indeed it is a minority response to be bothered by this and a majority response to instinctively touch a pregnant belly, one to which the mother is to be encouraged to give in, I'll have to add that to my long list of reasons not to have a baby! I'm in my early thirties and had never touched a baby-belly in my life until this year, when a friend specifically invited me to do so because the third woman in the room had just asked to and done so. I never even ASK if it's ok lest that make the mother-to-be feel pressured to say yes - I hadn't even touched my own sister's when she was pregnant with my nephew, and my sister and I are close friends. I just want to say to any mother who doesn't want to be touched, forget trying to see it as some beautiful thing if you don't want to - just tell them to keep their hands off! You're not in a petting zoo!

Ah don't worry, you'll hit menopause in a few years anyway. Then none of this will even be an issue, unless of course you change your mind about not wanting any kids. Live like you're 23 for as long as you can, baby!

Re: Pregnant women's bellies

Jimsthename — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:35:34 GMT

But I will say as an aside, that this brings up one of the ways that you (the general you) can tell a woman who really is pregnant when you're not quite sure ... When she kinda distractedly touches her own. Women who aren't pregnant don't really do that the same way as women who are. It's kinda cool actually to watch them bond like that, if you're into the procreation thing.

Pregnant women's bellies

hurshy — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:15:56 GMT

So, I'm reading the archives and hope people don't mind if I bring up old questions... An expectant mother didn't like acquaintances touching her belly. Didn't surprise me at all, a natural way to feel, I thought. Prudie's response did surprise me. One sentence said "sure, you shouldn't have to be touched if you don't want to be", but the entire rest of the paragraph encouraged her to try to see it differently to accommodate the rest of the world. If indeed it is a minority response to be bothered by this and a majority response to instinctively touch a pregnant belly, one to which the mother is to be encouraged to give in, I'll have to add that to my long list of reasons not to have a baby! I'm in my early thirties and had never touched a baby-belly in my life until this year, when a friend specifically invited me to do so because the third woman in the room had just asked to and done so. I never even ASK if it's ok lest that make the mother-to-be feel pressured to say yes - I hadn't even touched my own sister's when she was pregnant with my nephew, and my sister and I are close friends. I just want to say to any mother who doesn't want to be touched, forget trying to see it as some beautiful thing if you don't want to - just tell them to keep their hands off! You're not in a petting zoo!