Dear Prudence

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

bigbuck623 — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:11:30 GMT

Don't forget that just because she "wants" to be right does not mean she is - her character flaw in needing to control the conversational direction is JUST as much an issue as is his analysis.

I saw nothing in the letter to suggest the guy is in fact emotionally underdeveloped. The girl could just as easily be dramatically insecure. Yes, he probably has a piece to work on in terms of desiring to "pump her up" a bit by allowing her to win.. but that need is just as much her character flaw as his.

This stuff doesn't exist in a vacuum. They need to talk about it.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

littlecynicism — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:29:19 GMT

I didn't see the guy as being a jerk either - just socially underdeveloped. I've dated uber smart men before and that is frequently (though not always) a theme. They don't get the emotional side of things very well and have to be taught.

I have a cousin who is a genius and he married a lovely girl who is perfectly smart, but not a genius. It works because he accepts that she can teach him what he needs to know emotionally.

Though if it comes to the point where he's saying something utterly logical (ex. "You look fat in that dress") and you've explained that it's hurtful (I always tell my guy to tell me what he likes best instead of what he likes least - we're both happier) and he still doesn't get it/care ...it's time to move on. He's not ready to learn.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

Morinehtar — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:25:09 GMT

3AM and the most famous part of the 1812 Overture blaring as loud as possible. Sounds like sweet, sweet revenge to me.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

catseye — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:09:14 GMT

Stand Up, Stand Up for Your Rights and No Woman No Cry are a couple of great Bob Marley songs. Incidentally, every Marley fan I've ever met has been white. Go figure. :o)

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

tarynwithat — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:43:10 GMT

Jason Castro. A hometown boy from my neck of the woods.

Don't like Bob Marley either, especially at 3 AM. And all that BOOM music? The only positive thing about it is that I can tell when my sons are coming home, because I can hear that from all the way down the street.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

SusanM — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:25:50 GMT

I Shot the Sheriff is the only thing popping to mind at the moment. Honestly its the blue eyes I keep picturing :P And I can't even remember the kid's name anymore.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

StevieN — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:24:36 GMT

Hey Susan, what an insightful and WELL ARTICULATED point you make! Obviously, you're not the LW ;)

Emily is up to her man-hating again: She would NEVER have been so jump-down-the-throat if the genders were reversed. Then the advice would be to talk about the situation--and keep in mind the positive aspect of a smart partner ;)

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

tonto_goldberg — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:24:29 GMT

I'm more of a Temptations fan.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

Tarquin Machismo — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:22:16 GMT

There's the odd song that gets my feet a-tappin', but they always seem spiritually dead. Not like Diana....

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

tonto_goldberg — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:10:57 GMT

The thing I hate is that there are only two songs being recorded lately by young black musicians.

A. The song about the Oedipus complex - also known as "cursing to a beat".

B. The "boom song" in which everything in the song is superfluous except that rythmic "BOOOOM" that sets the kids' car doors, hoods, and trunk lids buzzing.

Then there is the fact that young white kids listen to this crap, not understanding that they are never going to become dark-skinned, never going to be cool, and never going to have any natural rythm.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

Buhandi — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:08:36 GMT

Who said he is "inconsiderate of her feelings?" It sounds to me like he is in fact very considerate of her feelings, takes her position into account, and then patiently explains why she's wrong. Sounds like a good guy to me.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

Tarquin Machismo — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:51:59 GMT

SusanM wrote the following post at 10/16/2008 10:40 AM: I dunno... this white girl kinda has a thing for Bob Marley :P Esp when that gorgeous blue eyed guy covered him on Idol!

If they still listened to Diana Ross, i might - MIGHT - just give the Black Man a break.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

tonto_goldberg — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:44:18 GMT

Missed that. Which song/songs did he pick to cover?

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

tonto_goldberg — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:43:16 GMT

Me. I have found that listening to Led Zeppelin at 3 in the morning is depressing.

Re: I disagree on the genious boy advice,

SusanM — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:40:18 GMT

I dunno... this white girl kinda has a thing for Bob Marley :P Esp when that gorgeous blue eyed guy covered him on Idol!